Born to Be My Baby
by Tokitoh
Summary: Ch.13 & 14 up! Gojyo's nowhere to be found, almost like he's avoiding the group. And when Hakkai awakens from a nightmare, and his lover isn't there to comfort him, what does that mean?
1. Tremble

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Series: Gensomaden Saiyuki  
  
Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Rating: R for later chapters. PG-13 for now.  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Blood, Language  
  
Notes: This fic takes place between episode #22 and #23. If anyone can find the name of episode #23 for me, please tell me, seeing as the subtitles are not much help. Especially in the second season. Also, please e-mail me if you spot any typos in here. I want this to be as perfect as possible. Aw, hell... e-mail me if you read it at all! Tell me what you think!  
  
Dedication: This is for all of my friends... which I don't really have all that many. Faye Faye, Kira, Corain, Minion, Heather, Joanna. Yeah, some of them haven't even seen Saiyuki yet but, oh, well. Oh, and for Kazuya Minekura if I could at least TALK to her. *cries* Oh, I wish! Okay, enough blab. On with the fic!  
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Part First (1/?)  
  
Trembling.  
  
He's trembling. He can't sleep. What to do? It's too dark to see. Then why can I see him? And only him... Shaking. He won't stop. He's lying in bed, trembling and shaking and gasping for air and I know that he cannot be sleeping. His quaking form sends shivers up my spine and I want to shut my eyes but fo fear that he will not be in the bed across from mine. I want to hold him and confort him... but I fear that from all of the shaking, once I touch him he'd crumble to pieces. Suddenly, he gasps as if choking and he sits straight up, his hands on either side of him near his hips and his posture irregularly poor. He's gasping for air and places a hand to his neck while his breathing steadies and the sleep is wiped from his eyes with the other hand.   
  
And then he notices that I'm wide awake, watching him, looking to him in the dead of night. I remember reading that people with eye problems see much easier in the dark than people with 20/20 vision [1]. He is able to see me easily through the darkness; the mist that settles between us is almost instant - a mist that inquires all the unnessissary questions. All of them, I have no answers. One question. I only have the answer to... only one question. One.  
  
That inquizitve mist comes from him. That green - eyed human - turned - youkai that rises from his bed nearly every night with a nightmare. I love him. Love him so much. But to see him wake suddenly and look as if he might cry. I guess he was sleeping after all...  
  
"Gojyo...," he instantly mouths without a vocal note uttered. His hair is ruffled from tosses and turns from his previous slumbering state and his eyes scan the room until they fall upon me, lying half - naked over the covers of my bed. My arm is under my head that lies nonchalantly upon the firm matress while my other hand grazes the hard wood floor of the hotel room. And without a word, I summon up my strength from every inch of myself and force my aching body up off of the bed. It's that terrible feeling like waking up to leave for school, that terrible prison where you sit on your ass for seven hours and do jack squat, but you only got four hours. But for the man across from me, the discomforts that spread throughout me and envelope me the water in a pool folds around a diver, they are nothing. I'd do anything for that man and he knows how much I care for him.   
  
I abruptly notice just how heavy my footsteps are and quiet and slow my pace to that of a feather soft wrap against the waxed mahogany. I climb into bed next to him and wrap my arms around his wiry frame. He's still shaking. I'm worried, of course. He's the only one that has ever seen me as compassionate as this. I love him. Like I said earlier, I love him. Months before present day, the line of friendship between us was blurred so badly that it disappeared and we found ourselves...  
  
...in love.  
Hakkai lets his hands to travel up the other man's naked back as he sighs and immediately falls into his lover's embrace. His relaxed state is returned but as soon as the other is atop the green - eyed man, he begins to tremble more.  
  
"You're burning up...," Gojyo murmurs into the brunette's ear gently. He presses his soft pink lips to Hakkai's forehead tenderly and then locks their eyes, their very glances hold a loving embrace as the half - breed cups the other's cheek in one hand. "Are you alright, baby?"  
  
Hakkai nods and buries his face in the crook of Gojyo's neck, pulling him closer and attempting to calm his frazzled state of unsturdy nerves. The red - haired man then noticed the cold sweat that had settled over the moist skin of his love.   
  
"Hakkai...," Gojyo utters before pulling himself gently from Hakkai's grasp.   
  
"Oh, Gojyo...," Hakkai groans as he feels the warmness of his lover leave his grasp.   
  
Silently, stealthly, Gojyo stands and towers over the pale figure in the bed. His heart races as he suddenly witnesses the one he loves so dear grasp his chest desperately, in one swift move. His fingertips are buried in the peachish flesh but no pain subsides and no piercing of the skin takes place. Hakkai runs his hand down Gojyo's chest and stops at the button of his pants.  
  
"Hakkai?"  
  
Snap.  
  
The button is undone.  
  
"Hakkai?"  
  
The zipper.  
  
"Hakkai!" Gojyo grasps Hakkai by the shoulders and shakes him violently. What in the world was he doing? What came over him so suddenly? He and Gojyo had never done anything but kiss! So what motivated him to do such things as he had done just now? "Hakkai!" Another shout. Hakkai collapses onto the bed, his eyes set in horor, it seemed. He looked as if he had just suffered a sever blow, gaspsing for air as his hand is clutched to his on chest, the fabric turning and wrinkling to fit his fingers. His breathing becomes heavier than ever and his case of the shivers is now a case of the jolts...  
  
"Ugh....,"   
  
Now what?  
  
"I...."  
  
What do I do!?  
  
"He--"  
  
I....Hakkai, I....  
  
Gojyo's thoughts raced as his lover lay their gasping for air, appearing to suffocate.  
  
What's wrong with him?  
  
"Help...," Gojyo heard himself whisper. His voice began with a murmur, inaudible, but he knew that. He could not yell right away. The shock and sheer horor that struck him - seeing Hakkai lying their helpless, the cause of which signed as Anonymous. "Help," louder now. Like crashing into the rocks of the sea, a hurricane pushed him. "Help!" Louder. You have to yell louder, Gojyo. Up against the rock during the storm. The waves pushed him past the small shards of broken shell and sandrock on the beachy ground. "Help!" Yes, louder. No one could hear him if he was that quiet. The rock - ...he heard a bone aching with weight; too much weight. I creaked as the final tidal wave was cascaded over his battered and bruised body.   
  
Crack...  
  
Dear God...   
  
Snap...  
  
Oh, Lord...  
  
"Somebody help me!"  
  
Louder...  
The scenery outside was painted, melting like a deformed watercolor dipped in a pool of H2O. Melting. It ran down the window panes, twisting the scenery as the rain molded it to its liking.   
  
"What's the matter with him?" A demanding voice stammered, requiring an answer from the doctor before he passed out from the sickness of worry.   
  
"You know how people do strange things in their sleep," the doctor began, his handsome features twisting in concern as he spoke to the red - haired man before him. "This was sort of a sleep - walking incident."  
  
"But his eyes were open!"  
  
"They can be. He was still dreaming. The shock of you waking him up forced him into an alarmed state...," he paused. "He coughed so hard, he broke two of his ribs..."  
Hakkai lay in the bed nearest the window, his eyes closed in an attempted state of slumber, a haven from escaping the pain in his chest, the ache in his heart, and the painful remenisces of his past that the springtime air brought with the rainy days. Behind him were four or five humongous fluffy white pillows, propping him up at an almost forty - five degree angle. Across his chest were layers of alabaster bandages, compressing and realining the cracked ribs to the point of perfect healing. Although sleep skillfully eluded him, his thoughts came in torents:  
  
Ringing... I remember stating back then...  
  
"Hakkai?" Gojyo inquired as he stepped through the door, which had been sent slightly ajar to allow the half - breed enough room to let himself in.  
  
...that the rain sounded like ringing....  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"...A--," he hesitated. "Are you alright?"   
  
The red - haired man knelt beside the bed, letting one hand to rest over one of the other man's knees gently, giving a slight squeeze of encouragement.  
  
"Yes... I'm fine," Hakkai smiled and put his hand over Gojyo's, patting it slightly but stopped as soon as he saw his lover bite his bottom lip, averting his eyes from the view locked between the two of them. "Gojyo--"  
  
"Please, don't talk...," Gojyo stated softly, recieving a warm - hearted smile from the other before he sat up slightly, the covers shifting bit by bit to reveal the bandage fully. Hakkai leant forward slightly, ignoring the multiple doctors' orders to stay still, and, seizing Gojyo's hand from his and squeezing it between his own. Placing it to his cheek and leaning against it, he remarked,  
  
"If you do not want me to speak...," he leant forward more, "allow me to show."  
  
"I'd like nothing better, baby," Gojyo said as he stood slightly, caressing the other man as gently as possible, as if catching him from falling. Hakkai's hands travelled to Gojyo's back from over his shoulders, grabbing at the light purple shirt to steady himself before the one he loved so dear. Gojyo's arms supported the part of Hakkai that Hakkai could not as their chests pushed together, the brunette showing a sign of slight discomfort but something that he wanted Gojyo to ignore, for he knew what would come next - and he wanted it.  
  
Gojyo tilted his head slightly and finally pressed their lips together, both of them closing their eyes, raptured in the moment. (Truth be told that there were not many times during the day that they were allowed to do anything, including kissing and touching.) Gojyo knew that him being there right then was a huge pick - me - up for Hakkai; factoring in the rain and the fact that he was bandaged in bed again with Gojyo at his side. One of the red - haired man's hands snaked its way up Hakkai's neck, resting at the back of his head to press him deeper into the kiss - an attempt to breech the flesh barrier that was Hakkai's lips. Sure enough, the half - breed was successful: the green - eyed man couldn't take much more and at last, he opened his mouth, letting Gojyo's tongue inside, travelling over the roof of his mouth and delicately re - exploring his lover.   
  
It was amazing just how perfectly they fit together. Their bodies never showed any uneccissary friction and their lips were like two pieces to a puzzle - the finishing pieces; as if they were made to be together. [2]  
  
Oh, Lord... Hakkai thought as Gojyo's slender fingers lightly stroked the back of his neck. I... Oh, Gojyo... I love you so much. But the sudden thought brought a chill over his spine and he remembered when he had said the exact same thing to his beloved sister. Guilt flooded over him as quick as a flock of crows fled from danger. He could remember how he felt when the suspicions arose that he may be falling in love again. He thought it was just a strong friendship, no attraction involved, right? He was afraid to fall in love again - for fear that something else could happen. Like the worst case of deja vu ever.  
  
Abruptly, the memory came back to him: After Chin Iisou, bastard of Hell as he was, was at last defeated - after Gojyo had signed Goku's leg cast (with a manner of hilarious drawings and doodles), he took his seat next to Hakkai on the front hood of Jiipu.   
  
"'You look like you've just lost your best friend,'" he remembered exactly what he had said.  
  
And he remembered telling Gojyo that his life line was a little longer... but still awfully short. And when Goku came up behind him and used the marker to draw a longer line of his hand. And when Sanzo spanked him over the head with that paper fan. Then it dawned on him:  
  
"'Oh, my! This is indiable ink, isn't it?'" he had asked.  
  
"'Yep,'" was the reply that the gambler to his side gave him.   
  
"'It will not come off, will it?'"   
  
"'Nope,'" Gojyo smiled as he leaned in a bit closer and nearly whispered, "'Isn't it better this way?'"  
  
Hakkai's face shown with a smile, something of which had meaning to it for a change, not as artificial as the others. He nodded.  
  
Kanan... he thought. I'd like to go on living for a little longer.   
  
Many people have heard others say that works of God occur when most needed, when most felt a feeling toward someone beyond life that was so strong it was like someone was right there with you. Although Hakkai did not draw attention, he could have sworn he saw Kanan next to him, smiling as she always did, the beautiful smile that he loved so dear; her dress flowing in the winds reminding him of a field of sunflowers. She laughed. She smiled. And she faded away once again.  
  
He remembered how she looked when she was so happy. He remembered how cheerful she was that he had finally found a job. He remembered what she used to say about his hands - how much she loved them and how beautiful she thought them to be.  
  
And here as he promised to love Kanan forever, he was kissing another person. But someone can love more that one person, right? Of course. But the guilt nearly made him want to sob.   
  
Gojyo drew back suddenly, forcing their lips to part.  
  
"G - Gojyo?"  
  
Gojyo stood up, his figure shadowed by the oncoming dusk through the rainy ash - colored clouds and spoke, "I just came to check up on you." He offered a false smile. In all the times, all the years, that Hakkai had seen Gojyo smile, never would he have imagined that he would see a fake smile. He always had that grin on his face. He always enjoyed himself. He possessed that nonchalant attitude. But as Hakkai watched Gojyo walk to the doorway, he feared as if the kiss they had both just shared transfered something (more than his saliva) to the red - haired man. They always said you could tell how a person feels through kissing them. Maybe Gojyo felt his sadness and confusion...? "Hope you feel better, babe." The half - breed winked and walked out the door, gently closing it behind him.   
  
A faint lightning bolt could be seen over the horizon; a small rumble of thunder that sounded like the faint roll of the tempany in a band arrangement followed.   
  
True friendship was not measured by the time of aquaintance between two people. It was measured by the loyalty and trust that you put into the other person - that is, if you could measure friendship. But what of love? The most indescribable and confusing feeling in the world. No one can elude. No one can ignore. They give themselves up in he heat of it and later, many of them regret their decisions.   
  
Hakkai remembered when the line of friendship between him and Gojyo had finally blurred into nothingness and transformed into love. It was after that terrible, brutal battle with Goku, after he had removed his limiter to fight against Kou Gaiji and Dokugakuji. [3]  
  
//flashback//  
  
Hakkai coughed from the pain in his chest as he lifted his friends from the ground and placed them gently into Jiipu, who doubted that he had enough energy to make it to the next town with the four of them. Gojyo and Goku were situated in the back, both of them sleeping from exhaustion from the fight. The brunette placed Sanzo into the passenger seat and stumbled to the other side of the vehicle, taking his spot in the driver's seat.  
They had been driving across the vast desert for nearly thrity minutes now. The pain in Hakkai's chest subsided once more, pounding as if something were trying to break out of him. Hunched over the steering wheel, one of his hands placed solemnly onto the steering wheel, the other hand clenched over the cloth of his shirt. He coughed once more. The salty, desgusting taste of blood reached his mouth. He swallowed and gasped for air. Oh, no... he thought. I don't know if I will be able to make it to the next town... He coughed again. His eyelids were heavy. I must have ruptured some internal organs. I... can feel my eyes slipping shut. And sure enough, he was unable to keep his eyes open. They slipped shut and his hand fell from the steering wheel. He woke suddenly from his exhausted state when a hand from the back seat of the jeep was felt over his own. The hand placed his back onto the wheel and helped him to steer while he spoke,  
  
"Let me drive... Hakkai," Gojyo commanded, his features softened with sleep.   
  
"Please go back to sleep, Gojyo! You must have cracked some bones when I slammed into you!"   
  
Gojyo shook his head and looked forward, over the horizon. The next village was far from view, for you could not see the small buildings and houses that usually dotted the land.  
  
"Just... switch!" Gojyo said through gritted teeth as he held back a cough that was sure to come.  
  
The green - eyed man nodded. "Okay...." He remembered right after the cave in further back into the desert - he had used all of his energy to protect Gojyo, Sanzo, and Goku from the multiple tons of sand and gravel that surely would have buried them all if he had not tried. Then, for reasons unknown to him at that time, Kou Gaiji had saved them from the cave in by using his Red Wind. [4]  
  
It was after he had discovered that Hakuryu had been waiting there in the desert for them all that time. After he collapsed from the lack of energy.  
  
"Hakkai! Quit tryin' to act so cool!" Gojyo demanded hurriedly, refering to when Gojyo had warned Hakkai of the danger of using his ki technique.   
  
The green - eyed man ran a hand through his thick brown hair and threw a weary smile to the other man. "I'm sorry."  
  
But once the apology was uttered, Gojyo turned away from him, and muttered, "You're just trying to make me miserable."  
  
"G-...Gojyo..."  
  
Yes, that arose his suspicions. Maybe he did love Gojyo. Did he? And if so, how? Why? But once Gojyo had demanded for him and Hakkai to switch spots in order for the healer to rest, Hakkai felt a strong burning sensation deep within his chest as he gently pushed the break pedal until Jiipu had stopped completely. Placing one hand on the back of his seat and the other still on the steering wheel, the brunette pushed himself out of the vehicle while Gojyo waited next to the driver's door. The human - turned - youkai was just out of the small jeep when the pain returned to his chest and a hand flew over his mouth to stifle the cough that followed. The sudden coughing fit was severe and filled with gasping and choking as Hakkai fell to his knees - or he would have... if the half - breed by his side had not caught him.  
  
"Hakkai!" Gojyo exclaimed, one hand around Hakkai's waist and the other on one of his shoulders. "Are you alright!?"  
  
Hakkai continued on with the severe coughing until finally, it died down to where he could talk, even though his tone was choked, "Y-yes. I'm fine. Thank... you, Gojyo."  
  
The red - haired man's face was filled to the brim and overflowing with worry as his best friend put on another false smile. "Damn it! You really are making me miserable."  
  
"H - how so?"  
  
"How in the world can you smile when you know you're falling apart inside?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're injured....! And you know the situation that we're in! We may not even make it to the next town! We could die, Hakkai!"  
  
"Gojyo...," Hakkai began. "Whenever I heard that... you know that I always think about Kanan and how I had asked about living a little longer. Well, there is no time like the present and... I am not exactly afraid to die." He paused. "But I understand that some people are. If you are then I'll do what I can to keep you alive."  
  
Gojyo stood speechless and completely unmoving. He had no idea what to say. Hakkai never liked to talk about his beloved sister, Kanan, the love of his life - let alone bring her up by himself. It seemed as if putting him in the middle of a hungry pack of wolves and waiting for the result. But there always was the opportunit to sneak away when they were asleep. Yes, and Hakkai took that chance. He could avoid the pack.   
  
"Hakkai, I...," Gojyo wanted to speak something comforting. He felt horrible causing Hakkai to talk about death and Kanan. "I'm not the type to worry too mcuh about dying," was what he said next. He pulled himself from Hakkai, seeing as he had finally found his balance after the coughing fit. He turned his back to him and spread his arms out as he felt the swift desert wind. And as if framed in a painting, he said, "I miss my step - mother. You know that. I wanted her in the worst way." He dropped his arms after about a minute and turned to Hakkai, a smile upon his face and a glimmer in his eyes. "But I guess guys like us always tend toward the messy romances, yeah?"  
  
Hakkai gave a light laugh, seeing as he understood and walked to Gojyo. "Yes, I suppose so."  
  
"I mean," Gojyo laughed and continued, "I love my step - mom, you love your sister so much, Mr. Wordly Monk is a muderer," he paused. Hakkai shook his head.  
  
"It's okay, Gojyo. I know what I've done. There's no way to avoid it is the conclusion that I have come to."  
  
Gojyo continued, pretending that the subject flew over his head. "And the ape is a freaking glutton." [5] He laughed again. "Yep, we're pretty messed." He commented sarcastically.  
  
"Gojyo, if we do not get to the next town soon, Sanzo might not last much longer," Hakkai spoke worriedly. [6]  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go," Gojyo said. He walked to the brunette and gave him a sturdy pat on the shoulder. Pointing to the back seat, he said, "Don't die on me back there."  
  
Hakkai smiled and nodded.   
Finally, all of them had reached a town, safe and sound, thanks to the little boy who had come across their nearly lifeless figures lying in the sand in the middle of the desert. Hakuryu had run out of energy and transformes from his jeep state back to being the adorable little ruby - eyed dragon. Gojyo, Hakkai, Sanzo, and Goku lay on the ground as well, unable to move until they were all brought back to the village that the boy lived in. The five were nursed back to health, not perfect, mind you, but at least they were alive.  
It was just another morning in the village, full of aching pains, both muscle cramps and scarred flesh and tissue from the fight with Goku, and the Sanzo - ikkou didn't feel any different than when they had been attacked by the youkai teenager.   
  
"Hey, ape," Sanzo commanded Goku's attention suddenly from the morning paper that the blond had been reading.  
  
"Yeah?" Goku asked, planted on the chair across from him.  
  
"Gimme a beer."  
  
The golden - eyed teen nodded and sprang from his seat. Into the kitchen he ran and poped open the refrigerator, clanking around noisily for a can of beer for the monk at the table.  
  
"Any day, now."  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Goku whined and handed the icy cold can to Sanzo. The feeling of the cold metal must have been as cold as Genjo Sanzo's heart. Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai all got to wonder once in a while, if not, all the time why Sanzo was always so cold and cruel to them.   
"Hey...," Gojyo greeted, walking outside to a small table placed just outside the inn. Both hands were in his pockets and, as usual, he possessed that nonchalant attitude, if not visible then audible.  
  
"Hello, Gojyo," Hakkai responded with a warm good morning smile to his friend. "Are you feeling better than before?"  
  
The red - haired man laughed and sauntered to stand beside the other man. "Tch. Hardly."  
  
"Sorry to hear."  
That night...  
~Gojyo~  
  
Damn it. I can't get to sleep again. It's all because of the pain. Shit, why did that stupid ape have to hit so hard!? And he threw Hakkai at me. He threw him! Like a piece of trash. Hakkai is just about anything but a piece of trash, though. Yeah, he could do anything, he's so smart. Tch. He was a teacher. Hello, wake up. He's like... the perfect man. I mean, he's smart, funny, nice, handsome, attractive. Attractive? Where the hell did I get that? Aw, come on, don't fall apart. What am I thinking!? Attractive... I just called by best friend handsome and attractive. Well, he is. Damn, am I beating myself up over this!? If I don't stop, I could become bipolar. Ha ha. Shit. Bi. Yes, that is probably what I am. I'm bi; I have to come to terms with it that at some times, I picture Hakkai as a little more than a friend. Alright, all the time... and a lot more than a friend. Shit, what is a womanizing lady's man to do about that? Can you womanize a man? [7] And if so, I would like to know how. I'll go after Hakkai. I mean, I would if I could. And I will... but I won't... 'cause I can't... Gah. If I make a move on him, we'll both break to pieces. What the hell am I thinking? He wants to die to be with his sister and I want my step - mother. Here I go, tending toward another messy romance. First, my step - mom, and then my best friend.   
End Chapter #1  
Author Notes:  
  
[1] I have discovered that people who have vision correction see a lot better in the dark than people who do not need glasses/a monocle/contacts. Makes me feel special because I wear glasses, ha ha.  
[2] Kenren and Tenpou were married (from everything I have read and heard) and then they were reborn as Gojyo and Hakkai! All the more reason for them to be together!  
[3] I love Kougaiji x Dokugakuji.... drools  
[4] The Red Wind is the Aka Kaze. (aka = red; kaze = wind)  
[5] Gluttony is a sin. It's a deadly one, in fact. Ha ha.  
[6] Sanzo x Hakkai is evil. I seriously cannot see it at all. Dead serious.  
[7] I dunno! Can you womanize a man?  
  
I rushed through these author notes. Please read chapter 2 and review. Please. 


	2. Miles to Go

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 2/?  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Notes: Please review and tell me what you think. I have noticed that not many people review when they read something and I, personaly, find that after a certain amount of time or a certain number of views, find it pretty rude. Please tell me what you think. Just don't kill me.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. The anime and manga and all characters, names, ect. belong to Kazuya Minekura.   
  
REMEMBER!!!: The first chapter left off in the middle of a flashback. This is the continuation of the flashback.  
_________________________  
  
Part Second (2/?)  
  
//Flashback continuation//  
  
That morning, Hakkai woke with the sun as it peeked timidly over the horizon, lighting the room from between the horizontal blinds mounted on the window. The small bars of golden light sqeezed their way through the blinds to spill over the floor and wave this way and that when the trees outside of the building passed in front of the light.   
  
The brunette sighed to himself as he folded back the covers and swung his legs to dangle over the edge of the bed. What a strange dream... He thought. Why in the world...? He recalled the dream, a hand to his head and running his fingers through his thick mahogany hair. He remembered Gojyo in the dream. Gojyo was in his dream? Obviously so, seeing as he saw him hanging with the girls at a local bar. The next thing he remembered, it looked like he was right next to the gorgeous half - breed, engaging in a, for the most part, innocent conversation. Gojyo joked around, saying something like, "Hey, I might be fallin' for you, for all I know." And Hakkai laughed his light - hearted laugh and leaned back in his chair next to the red - haired man. Next thing he knew, his dream took a dangerous twist and Gojyo was grabbing him by the shoulders and kissing him! Kissing him! Lips to his own, tongue wars and hands moving down the back of his shirt!   
  
Hakkai shivered and stood from the bed but stumbled from an injury aquired from the battle with Goku. Finding that shifting back and forth from foot to foot until he found his balance was suficiant enough for him, he exitted the room and headed to the restroom to change the bandage on his cheek, which emitted a small streak of dried blood on the side of it. Looking into the mirror, he removed the bandage non - too - gently and deposited it into the wastebasket conveniently located at his side. The wound on his cheek was healing up nicely, but still, it needed another bandage. The skin was still moist with blood. Hakkai opened the small box of the First Aid kit and set another bandage onto his cheek, using the medical tape to hold it in place.   
  
Suddenly, a pained scream rang through the cooridors of the inn and all rooms that had owners so careless as to leave their doors open. The green - eyed man gasped as he discovered who it was. He nearly slammed the First Aid kit shut and ran from the restroom, his feet landing noisily on the waxed wooden floor. Each step he took made him wince as the pain shot through his leg each time he landed it on the ground. The screaming was beginning be drown out by a fit of severe, hoarse coughs that sounded frighteningly non - too - healthy.   
  
He reached Gojyo's door and had to skid to a stop due to his speed. Flinging open the door revealed one of the most horrible scenes he had ever witnessed. There was Gojyo, knelt down next to his bed, one of his arms clutched tightly over his abdomen, the other supported him from falling over the pool of blood and saliva that had gathered below him.  
  
"Gojyo!" Hakkai's face contorted in trepidation and horror as he dashed forward, taking the red - haired man by the shoulders, neverminding the pool of crimson that he knelt in to reach the other man. "Oh, Gojyo! What happened!?"  
  
Gojyo hacked again, his hand flew to his neck as he tried desperately to breathe. "Y--," he began but spat again, blood and spit into the puddle and over Hakkai's knees,"You-youkai!"  
  
"What!?"  
  
"Youkai, Hakkai!" Gojyo lifted his head, letting both arms to fall to the ground to support him. "Why did you come here!?"   
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
The door slammed shut. Both men's heads snapped to look to the entrance of the room. Behind the door was an ebony - haired youkai, tall and thin, seeming nearly anarexic, the huge grin playing on his face would make nearly anyone sick just by looking at him.   
  
"You've got to run, Hakkai!" Gojyo stood and pulled Hakkai up with him.   
  
"But, Gojyo... you're severely injured and you need help! You can't fight if you are coughing up blood!"  
  
"Hakkai!" Gojyo pushed the former teacher to the ground as the youkai that had been hidden behind the door charged forward, extending his huge claw - like fingernails at the brunette. Both of them were sent tumbling to the floor as the youkai stopped dead in his tracks and turned around and in a split second, was lunging for both of them again. "Shit!"  
  
And then the terrible creature's voice rang out like a hoarse human being who had not been able to speak for years, "Die, Cho Gonou!"  
  
The brunette was put to a complete stop. "What?"  
  
"You bastard," Gojyo cried and delivered a good punch to the youkai's right cheek. The ebony - haired creature seized Gojyo by the wrist and flung him into the wall where he collapsed over, clutching his abdomen and hacking like crazy.  
  
Hakkai was frozen. He didn't move. He couldn't. Seeing that terrible thing that still wanted revenge and seeing Gojyo, the man that he secretly adored, coughing up blood and other liquids made him go berserk and he launched ki blast one after another at the offending creature.   
  
But in a flash, it was gone. Hakkai had no idea as to where it could have gone, for further inspection of the room revealed not a trance. But with Gojyo's yell came the youkai, claws beared, obviously ready to strike. "Die, Gonou!"  
  
"NO!" Gojyo got to his knees, then collapsed but managed to gain control over himself once again. His arm was still around his stomach, soaked in blood, but nonetheless he ran to Hakkai's rescue, or the best that he could provide. "Don't do it!" And with that, he threw himself atop Hakkai as the ebony - haired thing did pierce it's claws through the fabric of the shirt.   
  
"Gojyo!" Hakkai felt the shock and coldness seep through his heart like the blood that now stained the red - haired man's shirt. It seemed nothing could get any worse... "You don't understand!" Hakkai turned his furious expression to the now cackling thing in front of him. He set Gojyo down for the moment and decided that he finish the incident now. Launching himself at the youkai, his arms back to the side in an attempted ki attack, he let out a cry, "Cho Gonou is dead!" The youkai froze, its pupils bantam, and its mouth open in a gape.   
  
"What!?"  
  
"You," the ki blast came and Hakkai launched it at the creatures head, "heard me!"   
  
"You bastard!"   
"He's dead!" The ki blast hit, separating the youkai into a million pieces disperced about into the air before he finally parished into oblivion. "I hate to kill.... I wish that people would realize that Cho Gonou is dead." He turned to Gojyo. "My name is Cho Hakkai..."  
  
"Ha--," Gojyo mouthed, "Hakkai..."  
  
The brunette knelt down beside the other man and placed his hands over Gojyo's chest, waiting to make sure his best companion was, indeed, still alive.  
  
"Gojyo?"  
  
"Y-yes?"  
  
"A-are you al....alright?" His voice cracked as if he were going to cry.  
  
"Please just do it, babe."  
  
Babe?  
  
He nodded and concentrated all of his ability at the four crooked gashes in the red - haired man's chest - so close to his heart and so close to being lost. If any closer, Hakkai surely would have lost Gojyo for sure. His words came inbetween clenched teeth as he realized that the exhaustion had taken him over and he had spent all of his energy, "Damn it, Gojyo, why did you have to do that?" The wound was not healed. Hakkai had no energy left as he collapsed atop Gojyo, spent. "Why couldn't you have just left me to die?"  
  
For the small bit of the gashes that were healed, Gojyo was all too greatfull, seeing as it gave him enough strength to attempt to sit up. He may have needed one entire arm to support him from behind, but he let his other arm to reach up to Hakkai. He ran his fingers through the green - eyed man's hair and stopped when he reached the back of his head and brought his hand to one of his cheeks. "I'm never gonna let you go that easily..." He fell backward over the floor, the pain and nausia finally reaching him as he grasped the wound through his torn garment.  
  
Hakkai felt as if he were going to vomit. He might lose him. He might lose Gojyo. What in the world was he going to to? What the HELL could he do!?   
  
"Gojyo, I swear," Hakkai began, "if you die..." He trailed off. Why was he speaking? Why couldn't he do something usefull? Think, Hakkai, think! "Gojyo!" Hakkai leaned forward. The red - haired man had given no answer to him in the least. Things were, indeed, looking very grim. The green - eyed man lifted Gojyo, one arm behind his head and one over both of his shoulders. "Gojyo! Don't die! Please!" His mind went blank. All he could think about was the man in his arms. Gojyo's chest heaved up and down heavily as he spat blood and muttered, raising shaking hands up,  
  
"Hakkai..."  
  
"You can't die, Gojyo!"  
  
"Ha--...Hakkai....," Gojyo mouthed and grasped Hakkai's shoulder with one hand, the other still on the wound. "P-please...." Things were at their climax. They could not and wound not get much worse than this. Gojyo coughed again. And the expression on his face was frightened; he did not want to die then and there.  
  
"I love you, Gojyo!"  
The red - haired half - breed sighed as he set the Ace of Diamons at the top of the table in the middle of a game of Solitare. Everything was excrutiatingly.... boring. It was a hot, humid, and frustrating night, even with all of the windows opened in their entirety, it did not help. And when there was a musky breeze that blew into the inn, it was hot and smelled of the stench of combined road dust and vegetation. Boring. So... boring.  
  
Gojyo glanced at the clock at his side. It read 12:36 A.M. Atop the clock was a small knob and switch for radio choice. He switched it on and selected a station, but seeing as, this late at night and there being barely any radio shows on, the only thing that was playing was DJ Crush [1]. He sighed again and turned the elctronical frustration off.   
  
He reached for the deck again to draw three new cards for his Solitare game but winced and ceased as the pain in his upper chest began and caused difficulty once again. "Shit...."   
He remembered what Sanzo had said to him when he was bandaged and in bed. The blond monk had answered in request for the semi - mummy - looking half - breed's inquiry: "Am I dead?"  
  
"Tch," Sanzo puffed on his Marlboro [2]. "What do you think?"  
  
"Did I die and go to heaven?"  
  
The monk raised an eyebrow at the red - haired man's sarcastic inquiry and pulled Goku in from the doorway, hissing,"If we're in heaven, why is the ape here?"  
  
"Good question," Gojyo laughed. "Wait, I'm alive?"  
  
"Ding ding....," Sanzo replied monotonously and pushed the gold - eyed monkey out the door again. "That youkai did a number on you. Someone in the inn heard the screaming from the battle and called the authorities... who in turn called the hospital."  
  
"Yes!" Gojyo raised an arm into the air but pulled it back down as quickly as he had shot it up. The pain surged throughout his body like food - coloring spread through a pitcher of water. He coughed. "Damn it!"   
  
"Yeah, just don't move."  
  
"Wish you would have told me earlier."  
  
"What fun would that be?" Sanzo snuffed the small cigarette bud in the ashtray at Gojyo's bedside bureau and exitted the room, muttering something to someone in the room next to his. "Yeah, he's awake.... I dunno." Apparently, the other person's voice was kept low and soft. Worried or young, someone was concerned.   
  
"Yeah, who would care about me?" Gojyo muttered to himself and bit the inside of his bottom lip. It was then that he remembered the last thing he had heard before he had blanked out from blood loss. Something Hakkai said that made him shiver with inquizition and confusion. "I love you." Hakkai had said that he loved him? Was that even possible? How could someone love a person like him? But then the thought got to him: Birds of a feather stick together. But love?  
  
A knock was wrapped against the door as the doorknob jiggled and turned in place, but only to reveal someone's delecate hand over the goldish object and a soft, gentle voice, "Gojyo?"  
  
"Come in."  
  
The door opened slowly, creaking the last few inches before it reached the doorstop. Hakkai stepped in, one small bundle in one hand and a roll of new bandages under one arm to give his other hand freedom to open the door. "Are you feeling better?"  
  
Gojyo laughed. "Man, I don't know what I felt like to begin with!"  
  
The brunette chuckled lightly and stepped into the room, "I'm here to check up on your wounds." Here is where Gojyo noticed the multiple modernistic bruises that had appeared on Hakkai's body from the fight with the youkai. "You did get quite a few."  
  
"And to factor in the ones that I got from the fight with the monkey...," Gojyo scoffed.   
  
"Yes, quite a few," Hakkai repeated a bit to cheerfully.  
  
Gojyo sat up slightly with a grimace and ignoring Hakkai's sudden protest. For one reason or another, he felt so vulnerable when he was lying down. But sitting up partially caused the thin conforter and sheets to fall layer after layer down to reveal his naked chest with a huge bunden of bandages at the upper side of his chest near his shoulder. To his surprise, the brunette in front of him blushed.   
  
"Oh, please. Don't, Gojyo...," Hakkai began. "I don't want anything else to happen. Don't reopen any of your wounds." "I'm fine, I'm fine." Gojyo reassured.  
  
The brunette took the few steps forward to Gojyo's bedside and knelt down next to the other man, setting the small bundle that had been in his hand down onto the slick wooden floor. Unwrapping the bundle to reveal that it held a small bottle of some unknown substance and a few cotton balls, Hakkai picked up one of them and unwound the bandage around Gojyo's shoulder slowly.  
  
"You're healing up so quickly, Gojyo!" Hakkai smiled and motioned toward the four deep cuts so near his the red - haired man's heart. The gambler glanced down to where the gashes were made and raised his eyebrows, for even he was surprised at how fast things were going.   
  
Hakkai took out the bottle, dabbed the bit of the liquid from it onto a cotton ball and ran it across the cuts, warning before he did so, "This may sting a little." And so it did. Obviously, the substance in the black bottle was Hydrogyn Peroxide, which made the wounds sizzle with some white fuzzy material, forcing the red - haired man to grit his teeth before the pained tickling feeling finally died down [3]. Then, to Gojyo's surprise, Hakkai blew cold air across the surface of the wounds, to numb the strange feeling of the liquid mixing with blood. Afterward, the wound was rebandaged and Hakkai placed the bloody bandages into a wastebasket. "Try not to move it too much," Hakkai said as he stood the exit the room, a strange feeling rising up in his chest when Gojyo haulted,  
  
"Hakkai, wait...!"  
  
The brunette turned around slowly to find the half - breed standing, his chest bare, with baggy blue denim jeans on. "Yes?"  
  
"I... I wanted to...," but he was cut off as Hakkai stated plainly,  
  
"I think I'll go get some coffee from the inn's kitchen." And with that he walked, hurriedly, through the doorway and down the hall, being sure to keep his head down slightly to avoid others seeing the pained look plastered onto his face. Gojyo sighed and proceeded out of his room, but not without a protest from his wound, which ached each time his arm moved from walking.   
  
They both travelled down the only flight of the inn's stairs, Gojyo being a bit behind Hakkai, as the brunette finally reached the kitchen. For once, for the first time, Hakkai wanted to be away from Gojyo. He needed to think, for he had a hunch upon what the red - haired man might want to say. But it quickly faded, that one chance, as the memories flooded back: He's a gambler, a player, think of how many women he has been with! The former teacher's hands shook with the vision of nervousness as he began pouring the steaming hot substance into his cup.   
Gojyo arrived at the doorway of the kitchen, one hand placed on one side and the other, where the wound was located at the top of, hung limply by his side. "Hakkai...," he began, to attract the other man's attention. Hakkai stood, back turned to the door as he held the coffee pot handle tightly, his knuckles beginning to go white. His head turned ever so slightly, not even allowing the half - breed to see part of his face,  
  
"Please, don't speak, Gojyo," Hakkai asked gently, his voice quaking, and Gojyo was almost certain he would begin to cry.   
  
"But--"  
  
"Please," Hakkai breathed through his teeth. "I... don't want to talk."  
  
"But, Hakkai--" "Gojyo."  
  
"But, Hakkai, I--"  
  
"You what?" Hakkai demanded, his voice losing its gentle feel as he set the coffee pot down non - too - gently.  
  
"I... I love you, too!"  
  
And so the coffee pot did drop onto the countertop suddenly from the brunette's hand, the dark umber liquid spilling over the tabletop. (Luckily, it was made of plastic instead of glass to avoid the shattering annoyance of broken melted sand.) Hakkai gasped a few breaths and then, finally, clutching onto his chest with one hand and turning 'round to face the red - haired man limping in the doorway, he murmured, "You do?"  
  
Gojyo nodded and proceeded further a few steps and said, his wound aching with each step, "I love you, Hakkai. I have for..."  
  
"For?"  
  
"For so long..."  
  
"Gojyo," Hakkai's face was pulled into a tender, loving smile,"I have loved you for so long as well."  
  
The half - breed's eyes were glassy with tears but suddenly, he collapsed over the hard floor of the kitchen, landing on his knees two or three feet in front of Hakkai. "Oh, Hakkai...," he whispered. The green - eyed man's eyes went wide for right then he noticed just what it was that made Gojyo go weak. The wound was causing immense pain and discomfort, or so it seemed, and the gambler that the injuries belonged to had reached his limit.   
  
"Gojyo?"  
  
Gojyo sighed. Hakkai knelt down in front of him and placed his hands gently on the other man's shoulders. Gojyo smiled up to Hakkai as he knelt there, his posture poor due to the pain in his shoulder and near his heart. "It hurts..."  
  
"Well... the wound was severe...."  
  
"Nah," Gojyo shook his head. "It isn't a painful kinda hurt. I just finally found out... that you love me. That kind of pain... I welcome." He went completely limp. Hakkai caught him.  
  
"Stupid...," Hakkai whispered sarcastically. "Maybe it's just... two different pains." Gojyo did not answer. The brunette silently carried him back up to his room...  
Both of them thought that the next few hours would go through easily. But when they found that their hopes were shattered, they were dumbfounded, for Gojyo continued to cough up blood, which was something that he should have been over with already. He complained of a continuing throbbing pain in his chest, which concerned Hakkai greatly and he notified the doctor. Although it was nearly one o'clock in the morning, the doctor agreed to come to check on Gojyo's wound.   
  
Hakkai sat beside Gojyo's bed and whispered, "Are you alright, Gojyo?"  
  
"Yeah," he cringed. "I'll be... just fine."  
  
The brunette noticed that Gojyo was clenching his fingers around the sheets and comforters in pain, wrinkling and pulling at them. Hakkai reached out and took Gojyo's hand from the covers and squeezed it between his own, letting the red - haired man tighten his grip as much as needed to help relieve the pain. The green - eyed man placed his other arm on the bed and rested his head on that, as if for a pillow, and sooner or later, he slipped off into a serene state of slumber, his hand still within Gojyo's firm grasp.   
  
The red - haired half - breed looked down to the other man at his bedside, smiling, knowing that, finally, someone loved him for more than just his body, and he loved him back, so dearly.   
  
Hakkai's features were so delecate and beautiful when he was sleeping. His chocolate colored hair flew over his forehead, nearly concealing his eyes, which, when closed, bore slightly longer than visibly noticable lashes. His gorgeous lips were parted slightly to allow easier breathing and his cheek was lying against his lower arm. Along with perfect facial features, his hands were so smooth and comforting. When he took Gojyo's hand in his own, the red - haired man could have sworn he had taken hold of a dream. Entirely uncalloused and inviting, Gojyo let his grip loose somewhat and gently ran his thumb across the feather - soft skin of the back of Hakkai's hand. He was, indeed, the most beautiful man that Gojyo had ever seen.  
The brunette awoke about an hour later, finding his hand empty and the bed empty as well. His verdant green eyes scanned the room quickly as he spun around. Gojyo was nowhere in sight. Worry immediately rose up inside the human - turned - youkai as he raced from the room, not bothering to shut the door behind him.  
  
As soon as he walked into the kitchen, he set his gaze over the clock. It was nearly two o'clock in the morning. He'd only been asleep for about two hours.   
  
Knocking lightly on Sanzo's door, Hakkai tapped his foot impatiently as he heard the blond rustle around in the dark to find the doorknob. "Yeah?"  
  
The brunette sighed at the final remark and inquired politely, "Have you seen Gojyo?"  
  
"It's two in the morning. Why the hell do you want to talk to him?"  
  
"He wasn't in his bed when I last looked..."  
  
Sanzo opened the door slightly, enough for him just to peek out, squinting from the offening light that immediately came into sight, even though it was only the moonlight, and stated, "The doctor's got him."  
  
"What?"  
  
"They said something about poisoning," Sanzo continued. "Probably someone like the woman that attacked me in the desert with the long nails and poison on them."  
  
Hakkai was hit hard. Posion? Gojyo was poisoned - was that the reason why he kept compaining about the pain in his chest after it should have dulled?  
  
"Hakkai?" Sanzo querried.   
"H-he was poisoned, then?"  
  
"Guess so," Sanzo muttered with no emotion in his voice. "It's a hospital, Hakkai. He'll be fine." He shut the door. Through the thick wood of the barrier, Hakkai could hear the blond murmur under his breath, "Like I care."  
  
The brunette was still thunderstruck as the fact stuck in his head. Gojyo was poisoned. Badly poisoned. And he was at a hospital.  
  
"Sanzo?" Hakkai asked.  
"What?" Came the irritated remark.  
  
"Which hospital?"  
  
"The one... forty miles south of here... or something," he collapsed over his bed and then it dawned on him: "Hakkai, you aren't gonna go see him, are you?"  
  
"So fast...," Hakkai whispered.  
  
But he was too late. Hakkai had already sprinted down the hall, as quiet as he could, haulting when he heard a familiar greeting.  
  
"Kyu!" Hakuryu exclaimed and flew gracefully from Hakkai's opened window. [4]  
  
"Hakuryu! Did I wake you?" Hakkai inquired. The white dragon shook his head as it landed on Hakkai's shoulder. "You know what happened to Gojyo, then?" The grave sound of his voice set in once more. The ruby - eyed creature nodded. As if reading the healer's mind, Hakuryu leaped gracefully from Hakkai's shoulder and, in a brilliant flash of light, it transformed into the jeep.   
  
"Kyu! Kyu!"  
  
Hakkai smiled, nodded, and climbed into the driver's seat of the vehicle.  
Gojyo was all that Hakkai could think of as he drove through the barren wasteland that separated the towns. His thoughts were a mixture of worry and confusion. And guilt. His knuckles, braced sturnly on the steering wheel, were turning white, his fingers trembling. He bit the inside of his lip. The huge bruise on his abdomen where Goku had hit him in the fight began to emit pain throughout his chest.   
  
"How could they get him there so fast?" [5] The human - turned - youkai pondered the question and inquired to himself. For miles, all there was was the straight horizontal line that stretched as far as he could see. The night sky was full to the brim with stars, twinkling and fluttering their colors.   
  
Everyone knows that when you see a shooting star, you should make a wish; that's why when Hakkai witnessed the event, a light blue tail attached to a small ball of azure light flashing across the sky hurriedly, he murmured softly to himself, "Please... Let Gojyo be alright."  
  
Poisoned and in the hospital... This is serious. His thoughts crashed over him as another mile was gone behind him. Thirty more... He was tired now, his eyelids heavy with sleep but every time he thought of that goreous half - breed, he woke up completely, straightening his posture in an attempt to stay awake. Did Sanzo say forty miles? Hakkai thought. However long it is, it isn't forty.   
  
His heart raced at the thought of what might have awaited him when he reached the town where Gojyo was. His eyes were glassy with tears. He blinked them back. His knuckles were numb from clutching onto the wheel so tightly. He ignored them. All that mattered now was making sure that his best friend was alright. Gojyo couldn't die...  
Hakkai didn't want another one of his loved ones to die...  
I would walk to the edge of the universe for you  
Paint you a crimson sunset over sheltering skies  
I could learn all the world dialects for you  
Whisper sonnets in your ear discovering truth  
I could never worship pagan gods around me  
I will only follow the path that leads me to you baby... always  
  
Every step I take for you  
I will always defend, never pretend  
That every breath I take for love  
I could never be wrong, the journey is long  
With miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep  
  
I would carry the rock of Gibraltar just for you  
Lifted like a pebble from the beach to the skies  
I could build you a bridge that spans the ocean wide  
But the greatest gift I give you would be to stand by your side  
Some can criticize and sit in judgement of us  
But they can't take away the love that lives inside us always  
  
Every step I take for you  
I will always defend, never pretend  
That every breath I take for love  
I could never be wrong, the journey is long  
With miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep...  
  
I won't run from the changing signs along the highway  
Let the rivers flow to the highest ground created...  
"MILES TO GO (BEFORE I SLEEP)"  
-Celine Dion  
*To be continued...*  
  
Author Notes:  
  
[1] Yes, DJ Crush... If you do not know who DJ Crush is, it fits right into the J - Rap and the like. I don't like DJ Crush's songs... a lot of them anyway. I was listening to Nippon Music Champ on Sunday and that's what B - chan played for the Shichiji no Specilu (7 o'clock special... I can't do romanji). I only like a few of his songs. One of them was even featured in the ending for the movie "Junk Food".  
[2] Who - o - o! Yes, Marlboro. Marlboro Mediums to be exact. How do I know? It was in a picture in the artbook by Minekura Kazuya: Backgammon. It had a picture of Sanzo holding a box of cigarettes and, loe and behold, it said "Marlboro". "MEDIUM" is not on there but... I lucked out. My father smokes the exact same cigarettes - red box and all.   
[3] For all you people that have not had the terrible aching feeling of mending flesh and that oh - so - annoying tickling and itching feeling of Hydrogen Peroxide inside your wounds... it isn't exactly the most pleasant feeling in the world. Especially with that nasty scar I have on my arm... It's like you... wanna itch it but you'll rip yourself apart if you do!  
[4] We all LOVE Hakuryu! At this time, I would like to take the time to ask about one thing in pertucilar: I was searching on www.google.com for some Gojyo x Hakkai sites and this one thing comes up... something that shocked myself and Kira and Faye... Hakuryu x Hakkai... Where do you get that!? I'm sorry. I am writing in total and complete bias and I know that but is that even possible!? Sorry, I just needed to ask about that. I don't understand! 


	3. Realization

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 3/?  
  
Rating: R for later chapters. PG - 13 for now.  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, ect. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.   
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi   
  
REMEMBER!!: Yes, we are still in the middle of the flashback...  
  
_____________________  
  
Part Third (3/?)  
As the days were, a majority of the time, bright and sunny, the nights were colder than expected. No one thought that with the temperature outside being so high all the time it would never get this cold during the night; but loe and behold it did. Hakkai did not find it the greatest aid in the crisis that he was in at the moment. Goosebumps settled over his skin as he asked Hakuryu if he were getting too tired. The creature replied with a light - hearted "Kyu!" and continued on, the pace of the vehicle across the desert - like land remained the same.  
  
The former teacher shivered as the cold finally got to him through the few layers of cloth he was wearing. In a situation such as this, one gets to realize that there are two types of cold: one is the kind that just gives you goosebumps and feels good when you inhale through your mouth and let it cool your throat; and the other kind is the frigid kind that is highly uncomfortable and gives you a different feeling when it burns your throat and lungs - almost the kind that you felt just before the snow was going to fall.   
  
The cold that was over the desert - like ground that Hakkai and Hakuryu travelled over was more of a mix.   
  
Hakkai's hands stood trembling on the steering wheel, his knuckles still white but upon noticing this, however, Hakkai loosened his grip, finally feeling the strange, numb feeling over his hands. He inhaled and felt the chilled air soothe his throat. But the relief of his hot throat and numb hands was ephemral as something pattered over the windshield suddenly. It came without visual alert and splashed over the glass, separating into many tiny pieces difused about the window. Then another. And another. And before he knew it, the green - eyed man realized that it was raining.   
  
"As if things could not get any worse...," the brunette murmured to himself softly. He had no cover to prevent the rain soaking him; but that was nothing compared to the worry that still plagued and nipped at his heart like a vulture. Not to mention his injuries were beginning to emit that nauscous, painful feeling again. The green - eyed man ignored them as best he could, but he was no match to that excrutiatingly distrubing bruise that Goku left on his adbomen when he punched him during the fight. The scene replayed in his head: how he had to dodge Goku's attacks once the teenager's limiter was off and how that was all he really could do [1]. He remembered that he had to pin Goku to the ground just to get one small, minescule chance at beating him before he killed them all. Then Goku punched him. Then he grabbed his wrist. Then he threw him. He literaly threw him. But that only brought back the terribly sickening worry for Gojyo for that was when he was thrown onto Gojyo, who was attempting to get up but having trouble with his injuries. He looked to vulnerable, so hurt. His eyes were pained and his skin was bruised and battered. It troubled the brunette immensely when he asked the half - breed if he were alright. All Gojyo did was cough. And a non - too - healthy one at that. God, what Hakkai would have given to help him then. What he would give to have gotten a chance to help Gojyo so that they could both defeat Goku and save Sanzo and themselves. It would be hell to kill a member of their own group, let alone a friend, and that is why a surplus of relief was present when Sanzo was able to produce a new limiter for the young gold - eyed teen.   
  
Hakkai was soaked now and cold. The terriblly swift cold and the pelting, stinging rain... And as if on que, there were a line of buildings that rose from he horizon and became visible to both Hakkai and Hakuryu.   
  
"There it is!" Hakkai cried. Hakuryu sensed Hakkai's relief and happiness and did its best to speed up, quicken the pace.  
  
Gojyo, I'm almost there, Hakkai thought. Hold on, Gojyo...  
  
The sun tried to peek through the clouds but proved unsuccessful and settled for rising behind them, the dim gray light illuminating the surrounding landscapes and beings.   
  
They finally reached it - finally reached the town. This was in the direction that Sanzo had told them. Forty miles or no forty miles, Hakkai had to find the hospital and quick. He quietly waited for his friend to transform back into his dragon - state and smiled as the small alabaster dragon landed contently on his shoulder. And with that, he sprinted down the roads, glancing quickly from side to side, expecting to catch sight of the hospital's sign. Grocery, Decor, Clothing, and... Potpouri? Interesting. The hospital; it was right at the end of one of the longest streets in town.   
  
The cold had gotten to Hakkai now. He was shivering and breathing hard, the cold stinging his throat with each gasp. He was probably going to catch Nomonia. Given the current circumstances, anyone else would have looked for new clothes once reaching the inside of the hospital; but Hakkai was not just anyone.   
  
"Excuse me, ma'am!" he cried. "Please!" He reached the front desk. "Please can you tell me where Mr. Sha Gojyo is?"  
  
"U - um... yes," she muttered, dumbfounded that anyone would brave the storm and cold and demand to see someone with sopping wet clothes. "Number thirteen. Down that way," she said, pointing down a passage.   
  
"Thank you," he nodded and ran off, down the hallway, slipping from time to time from the water that dripped from both him and Hakuryu. Finally, he stumbled upon room thirteen. He placed a sturdy hand on the doorknob but paused suddenly.  
"Kyu," Hakuryu chimed, wondering what could be the matter.  
"I know," Hakkai said. "I just don't know what to expect."   
  
And with that he opened the door, even though a male doctor was lecturing from down the hall that he was not allowed to see any patients without checking first.   
  
But what the brunette laid eyes upon was terrifying to him: there lay Gojyo, on his back, his head back and hair pulled into a tight ponytail in the back of his head; his wound was bandaged completely and still bleeding while one arm lay over the edge of the bed, a cloth and tube wrapped around the upper part of his arm to measure his blood pressure. His breathing was uneven and rhaspy, as if he had larangitis and an IV was tubed through his shoulder underneath his skin.   
  
"Oh, God...," Hakkai murmured, appalled.   
  
"Hey!" a man exclaimed from down the hallway. "Wait a minute, you!" The brunette did not move an inch even when the doctor stood right before him. "What are you doing?" He inquired.  
  
"I...," Hakkai started," just wanted to check on a friend."  
  
"Well, why don't we at least get you some dry clothes first?" he asked, laughter added to his tone. Hakkai's eyes were still on Gojyo. The doctor saw how serious the green - eyed man was and said, solumnly, "Hey, he'll be fine." He looked to the inside of the room at the red - haired man in the bed. "We got the poison out before things got too serious."  
  
"I'm glad," Hakkai finally looked to the doctor and smiled.  
  
Hakuryu sneezed. Twice.   
"Hey, I think we should dry your little friend off before he catches a cold."  
Once is enough  
To realize the pain  
But twice a tragity occurs  
I cannot bare something like that  
So tough...  
  
I looked from the outside in  
Tried to keep an open mind  
I only have one wish  
That our love surpasses time  
  
Please don't laugh  
I know how this sounds  
To fall again but this time  
Out of bounds  
But you pull me back in again  
And hold me tight  
  
I looked from the outside in  
Tried to keep an open mind  
I only have one wish  
That our love surpasses time  
  
And it's then I realize  
That you make the night bright  
So brilliant and true  
  
Bright  
Like stars  
Blinds me  
All I can see  
Is you  
Nothing else  
"Is it alright if I see him?" Hakkai inquired to the doctor once he had put on some dry clothes and made sure Hakuryu did not catch ill. The small white dragon remained perched on his shoulder. The green - eyed man was still turning back part of the sleeves of the borrowed light lavebdar shirt, for the sleeves were still too long.  
  
"I guess so," the blond - haired doctor put a finger to his chin. "We have a nurse in there now. We'll see how he is."  
  
Inpecable timing: the nurse exitted the room right then. She shut the door behind her but jumped slightly when she saw the doctor and Hakkai behind her. "Ah! Do we have a visitor?"  
  
"Yes," the blond answered. "He would like to see the man in that room. Is he doing alright?"  
  
"Perfect!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands together. "He just woke up!"   
  
They let Hakkai in and shut the door behind him softly.   
  
"Kyu?" Hakuryu inquired quietly. He glided over to the back of a chair and landed, folding his wings in and watching as Hakkai knelt beside Gojyo's bed.  
  
"H - Hakkai?" Gojyo asked hoarsly.  
  
"Yes, Gojyo. It's me," the brunette responded, feeling the pain rise up in his chest as if he would burst into tears.   
  
Gojyo reached up with one shaking hand and touched Hakkai's cheek lightly. "You look so scared," he whispered.  
  
"Of course I am...," the green - eyed man murmured, pressing his hand over the other man's leaning against Gojyo's tender caress.   
  
And then Gojyo began to mouth a phrase - something that reminded Hakkai of what they had said before he was taken to the hospital. "I love you...."  
  
Hakkai remembered when they finally confessed their love to each other just a few hourse ago. "I love you, too, Gojyo...," Hakkai whispered, replaying the scene in his head when Gojyo had declared that he loved him. Gently, he slipped Gojyo's hand from his face and kissed his palm lightly. "I love you so much..." Slowly, his eyes slipped shut as he pressed his lips to Gojyo's palm once more, letting them to stay there.   
  
The half - breed's facial features softened immensly as he murmured, running his thumb along Hakkai's bottom lip, "So this is what it's like to fall in love....?"  
  
Emotionally, Hakkai was taken aback but all he did was remove his lips from the other man's hand. "Do you love me?"  
  
"With all of my heart."  
  
"There is you answer...." Hakkai offered a genuine smile, real and possessing a feeling of warm happiness never before expressed before and Gojyo knew that the deal of affection was not false.   
  
Gojyo's gaze remained set upon the man before him but his mouth was pulled into a crooked smile and as he moved his thumb from Hakkai's bottom lip to stroke his cheek tenderly, he concluded, "Damn, you're beautiful." He let out a light chuckle when Hakkai's cheeks flushed with an adorable pink blush. "I hope you know that." His smile widened when Hakkai looked away and murmured to him,  
  
"I... I never really thought about myself as 'beautiful' before."  
  
"But it's so true, Hakkai."  
  
"I have no idea how you can say that...." Hakkai pulled back and laid Gojyo's hand back onto the bedside.  
  
Gojyo struggled to get up but elevated himself and then pushed his body into a sitting position.   
  
"Gojyo...."  
  
The red - haired man ignored the alarmed tone in the other man's voice even as he tore off the blodd pressure badge and took the IV out of his arm.   
  
"You shouldn't - -"  
  
"Listen to me, Hakkai," Gojyo commanded, his voice still hoarse for some reason. He took the green - eyed man by the shoulders and leaned down to where his lips were directly next to Hakkai's ear. "You're the most wonderful person I've ever met, babe"  
  
"But - -," Hakkai's words were cut short as Gojyo placed two fingers to the former teacher's lips.   
  
"I know what you're gonna say."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yes," he said as he drew back and placed his hands on both of Hakkai's cheeks. He stared him straight in the eyes and as a pacific smile spread over his face, he continued, "You remember when you said that Cho Gonou was dead?"  
  
The other man nodded, dumbfounded.  
  
"You are Cho Hakkai... and nobody else. Cho Gonou is dead. You are Cho Hakkai."  
  
But no matter what the red - haired man said to him, Hakkai's terrible and tragic past still haunted him and lingered in his memory, cobwebs that could not be reached; they stuck in the corners of his mind, the ladder he used not tall enough to reach. Only two people could brush away those cobwebs. The two people that he loved the most throughout his entire lifetime: Gojyo and Kanan.   
  
"Hakkai?" Gojyo broke into the brunette's thoughts. He shook his head as if waking up from sleep and averted his eyes from Gojyo's. But the red - haired man knew what it was that was making Hakkai so uncomfortable. "You," he realized, "are afraid, aren't you?"  
  
"What?" Hakkai's head snapped to Gojyo's direction as the half - breed stood before him and sat in front of the healer, on the thin, cold sheets of the bed behind him. "What do you mean, Gojyo?"   
  
"You're afraid of falling in love with me."  
  
The brunette stared at the man before him. He knew he could not lie to him and so he murmured, his voice shaking and almost afraid to come out of his lips, "You may be right."  
"Ne, Sanzo!" (guess who)  
  
"What now!?"  
  
"Can we get that?"  
  
"No."  
  
"That?"   
"No," the monk's tone became more harsh.  
  
"Oh! That looks re - e - e - ally good!"  
  
"NO!" Sanzo cried and produced the fan from his sleeve, giving a good, hard whap at the monkey's head, the unique smacking noise hanging in the air as people continued to stare at the two with a glance of confusion. Goku rubbed his head for a few seconds, ignoring the strange looks from the other pedestrians [1] and turned his head this way and, still looking for more goodies to get. "You wanna die that bad, baka - saru?" Sanzo muttered, his fingers tightening around the handle of the fan as he placed a Marlboro Medium between his lips, letting it to hang limply as he searched for his lighter and lit it. Thank goodness Gojyo was not there at that time or he would have asked Sanzo if he could borrow his lighter. His was always out of lighter - fluid and the flint had grown dull and useless. You'd think that he would buy a new one with all of the poker money he rakes in.  
  
Sanzo had always noticed, however, that Hakkai always had a problem with the constant smoking that he and Gojyo did. Especially Gojyo. The healer had always asked that they go outside or some place where the smoke did not linger in the room, even though it was not their permanently, but if they stayed there long enough, the ceiling would take on a disgusting yellow tint from the cigarette fog. The only times that Hakkai really didn't mind when the monk and the red - haired man smoked was when they were at a bar, which Hakkai never really ordered anything distilled, and when they were playing pool, which they never really finished a game, but he had taken note that Sanzo was quite good at the game.   
  
But whenever Gojyo had taken out his cigarette box, Hakkai always gave a sigh and bit the inside of his bottom lip. Sanzo noticed. After it happening for, oh, say, the forty - seventh time, someone had to notice. Hakkai really seemed to care for Gojyo; but from what Sanzo had seen, Gojyo was nothing more than Hakkai's best and closest friend. After all, he was a player, lady's man, poker addict, and he had heard once from the brunette that he feared for Gojyo's health if he were to become a dipsomaniac.   
  
Speaking of lady's man, Hakkai always got that pained look on his face when Gojyo would talk about the girls that he slept with the previous night. He joked and laughed and explained his strangest nights and Hakkai attempted to crack his usual false, yet pleasant, smile, but he failed from time to time and just looked morose and melancholy afterward until he gathered himself up and was able to smile to anything that someone said, be it threatening, serious, joyous, scoff - ful, or just plain, general news.   
  
Usually, you think of a colour when you see someone. One of the first things that people think of is a colour to fit someone. Sanzo thought for a moment. The saru was, indeed, a bright yellow - so lively and hyper nearly 24/7; made you think of a rabbit on a sunny day; made Sanzo sick to his stomach. Sanzo thought of himself as either a dark gold or burnt ochre perhaps. Something dark and depressing. He was never happy. Gojyo joked about the whole "teenage hormone" thing but only got pushed up against the wall with fear when a bullet was shot mere inched from his head, leaving a deep ebony ditch in the wood of the wall. Gojyo was a fiery red - orange. If there was a colour as nonchalant as that, it had to be Gojyo. But Hakkai.... Sanzo never really could think of the colour that fit Hakkai's personality. He thought of Hakkai as maybe a light green at first but then the run in with that Chin Iisou guy mixed up his thoughts like food - colouring in cake - batter. Although he did not understand Hakkai's past completely, his look on Hakkai changed after that. Hakkai was more of an ashy, neutral gray now.   
  
A cold gray. Hakkai was a mixture of emotions, so sad and depressing; but he kept his sadness bottled up. It was unhealthy, as Sanzo had heard from many people, to do that to yourself. To do that to yourself - he recalled running across Cho Gonou some years back. He tore out his eye [2].   
  
Do that to yourself.  
  
Unhealthy.  
  
Emotionally unstable.  
  
He wondered, but his thoughts were scattered.  
  
"Sanzo?" Goku's call of attention placed him back in reality once more as the monkey ran from consession stand to consession stand, all the while looking to the blond monk behind him and asking if he could have this or that. Sanzo sighed. If he were the kind of person who would, he would smile and just give in to Goku's meaningless needs... But since everyone knows and loves Genjo Sanzo, we all know that he is not the kind of person that would do that; instead, "smiling and giving up" for him was another good whap on the head of the teenage ape with the fan and a threatening gun - shot fired into the sky as a warning that enough was enough. "Ple - e - e - e - ase, Sanzo?" Goku whined. "I'm really, really hungry!"  
  
"Well, isn't that a stretch...," Sanzo mumbled to himself.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Nothing," Sanzo waved it off as if it were nothing (which quite frankly, it was nothing) and continued, "Look, " he sighed in mid - sentence, "you can have ONE thing."  
  
"Really!?"  
  
Sanzo was taken aback suddenly and clenched a fist at his own stupidity, the vein protruding from his forehead easily visible. "What the hell am I saying!?" He yelled. "Of course you can't!"  
  
Goku began to whine again but it was quicikly silenced as Sanzo's fan connected with his forehead.  
  
Sanzo left his fan to stay over Goku's head, his hand holding it there. The brown - haired teen stared at the blond monk, his gold eyes glassy with tears from the pain of the blow. Sanzo could care less, as his expression easily portrayed, but their eyes did not avert from each other [3] until...  
  
"Hah!" Goku yelled and pointed a finger in Sanzo's face. "YOU BLINKED!"  
  
"I HATE YOU!"  
Hakuryu slowly spread his wings and hopped down to the cushion of the chair that he was previously using the back rest as a perch. He was about to drift into sleep when he glanced over to Gojyo and Hakkai, who were now staring at each other with expressions never before seen on either of their faces before. The tiny white dragon found this the best time to give the two men a little time alone and, flying up and scurying to the door, he waited patiently for it to be opened.   
  
The brunette broke the gaze between he and Gojyo, with great effort, and got up to open the door for his friend, who flew out quickly, giving a "thank you" in its single word vocabulary. Hakkai smiled as he closed the barrier but not without warning that Hakuryu was not to go outside because of the frigid weather. He shivered just thinking about it. But the cold - jitters were sent packing as the brunette felt strong arms around his waist, pulling him toward him. "Gojyo!"  
  
"Are you cold, Hakkai?"  
  
"What made you think I was cold?" the brunette quierried, his voice trembling with somewhat fear and somewhat surprise.   
  
"You were shivering," Gojyo reminded him and leant in, letting his head to rest on one of Hakkai's shoulders. "I could not blame you, though. It is pretty damn cold outside... not to mention in here." He loosened his grip slightly to let Hakkai turn around, as that is exactly what he was attempting to do. "It is cold in here, heh?"  
  
"Gojyo...," Hakkai was shocked. "What in the world are you implying?"  
  
Gojyo took one step backward. His eyes widened and his mouth was pulled into an all out smile as he let go of Hakkai and placed a hand to the back of his crimson - tresses. "Ah, no! Not that."[4]Gojyo took one of Hakkai's hands in both of his. "I've had sex before with tons of women, but none of them I have ever really loved. You I love, Hakkai. And even though I do, I am not going to force you to rush into a relationship with me." He smiled tenderly. "You don't have to if you don't want to. You let me know if you'll ever be ready." He placed a finger on the tip of Hakkai's nose. "Only then will it happen." Suddenly, Gojyo winced: his eye twitched.   
  
"Gojyo! What's wrong?"  
  
"It just... hurts a little."  
  
"Oh, my, why didn't I do this earlier?" Hakkai realized as he unwrapped Gojyo's bandages over his arm and placed both of his hands over the hideous wounds, still open and bleeding slightly. He healed Gojyo's wounds with the light eminating from his hands, unbeknownst to him, illuminating his features in the dim green light as Gojyo looked to the brunette's expression, serious and unchanging, but at the same time, he was smiling... and tender, too. "There," Hakkai spoke as he discarded the bandages in the wastebasket. "How's that?"  
  
Gojyo rose his arm up and wrapped it around Hakkai, behind Hakkai's neck and across his shoulders, smirking as he said, "Feels a lot better." He pulled back again and gave a yawn, which he could not surpress by placing a hand over his mouth.  
  
"Tired?" Hakkai smiled.   
  
"Sorta."  
  
He laughed: the kind of light - hearted, semi - staccato laugh that echoed through the red - haired man's head and made him begin to laugh as well, even though he hadn't the slightest clue as to why. "I guess I'll go downstairs into the hospital's kitchen. They must have some coffee down there. That should keep you up for a while." Hakkai explained.  
  
"I'll get it," Gojyo said while opening the door and turning around to continue, "I won't be too long."  
  
"Okay. I kind of wanted to talk to you, anyway," Hakkai spoke.  
  
Once Gojyo had reached the kitchen area in the bottom of the hospital, he paused when he heard a voice, "Wow, Mr. Sha! You healed up so quickly!"And Gojyo turned to find the nurse from earlier standing in her pajamas, staring at where the wounds were previously.  
  
"Ah! God!" Gojyo exlclaimed. "You scared me! What, do you live here or something?"  
  
She nodded. "Yeah. The doctor and I live here since our village was attacked by a band of youkai. There were so many injured people that we began this hospital to treat the hurt. But, man! How in the world did you heal up so quickly!?"  
  
"Ah, just a...," he thought for a second, "a fast healer, I guess."  
  
"I'll say!"  
  
"Now if you'll excuse me...."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I need to get this coffee to my room before it cools."  
  
"Two cups, sir?"  
  
"Er... yeah."  
  
"Oh, I get it!"  
  
"Get wha--? What!?"  
  
"That guy from earlier! How sweet!"  
  
"Sweet? What's sweet?" Gojyo babbled. It was then that he pretended that he just realized that he had taken two cups. "Ah! I got two...." He gave a fake laugh and placed one cup into the sink.   
  
"Yeah, that's what I said."  
  
"What?"  
  
"What do you mean, 'What?'"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Bye." And with that, Gojyo raced up the stairs, leaving the nurse in his confusing dust as she blinked, shrugged, and walked back to her room.   
  
Gojyo would have raced in and slammed the door suddenly, forgetting the coffee completely, but it was then that he saw Hakkai sitting in the chair beside the red - haired man's bedside, his back turned to the doorway, body slumped over and his posture irregularly poor, his elbows propped on his knees and his hands on his forehead.  
  
Gojyo's footsteps were completely silent and the clatter of the coffee cup against the wooden surface of a bureau at his side made no connection with the two men in the room as Gojyo quickly turned to close the door, turning the knob before the door filled the doorway, completely quiet; not a sound.   
  
"Hakkai?" Gojyo broke the silence.   
  
Hakkai gave no answer. He didn't even move. What was wrong now? He had been so happy before Gojyo had left but when he came back, it was like seeing a different person there. How could someone get so sad... go from cheerful to sorrowful in such a short period of time? Was he fooling? No, Hakkai wouldn't do something like that.   
  
Gojyo walked over to in front of the green - eyed man and sat on the bed, neverminding the sound of his sudden footsteps and the creaking of the old matress when it was sat upon. "Hakkai?"  
  
Still, Hakkai gave no answer. Gojyo lifted his hands up to the green - eyed man's shoulders and took hold, firmly enough to gather his attention about him but softly enough so as not to suddenly hurt or surprise him. "Gojyo...."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I...," his words were pinched, short as if he had a limited surply of oxygen, "I'm... scared."  
  
Gojyo's eyes widened, his face painted with surprise, an angst - filled one at that. "You really are... aren't you?"  
  
Hakkai nodded. "What if something happens to you?"He paused, drew in a breath and lifted his head, spreading his hands to reveal a tear - streaked face, his tears carving twin glitter paths down both of his cheeks. The bottom of each eye brimmed with crystal liquid and his bottom lip was being bitten once more. "I couldn't protect Kanan.... I can't protect you either."  
  
"That isn't true!" Gojyo cried; he knew what he was saying. He had heard Hakkai say such things before. He had no idea why he just yelled what he did into the open, even though he knew that it was, indeed, the truth... to Hakkai, anyway. Suddenly, he felt humiliated for some reason, even though the only member of the audience was Hakkai - like he had appeared on the stage, and forgotten his line.  
  
"You know it is," Hakkai murmured. Gojyo had never seen Hakkai so serious in his entire lifetime. The happy, cheerful man that would serve you coffee at any time of the day, help you with anything that you could not do or needed help understanding, was abruptly transformed into a sadened, somber person. He was crying. For the first time in his life, Gojyo was witnessing one of the most horrid scenes of any being's existance: no one had seen Hakkai cry before. The brunette had taken all situations into consideration, hardship and all, and never complained. He never complained about always having to assist everyone, being so nice to every person and creature that he met, or, even, Gojyo and Goku constant fighting in the backseats of Jiipu. But now.... Now, Gojyo would not be surprised if Hakkai were to curse repeatedly (even though many teachers liked to call it "creatively").  
  
"Hakkai, please," Gojyo stated, feeling the tightness returnin his chest as the warmth rushed through his cheeks, his own eyes becoming glassy with tears. "Please," suddenly, the red - haired man pulled the other man into the most pacific embrace he had ever felt, "don't look at me like that." Hakkai was in awe. He had no idea what to do; but once he had worked his arms free of Gojyo's grasp, he looked at his own hands and finally, closed his eyes, new tears flowing down his face, and wrapped his arms around Gojyo's waist. Hakkai dropped from the chair, kneeling down but pulled back abruptly, roughly almost. "Hakkai?"  
  
"I stated," he spoke almost darkly, "that I could never hold anyone with these hands again... stained in sin."  
  
"Hakkai - -"  
  
"I promised her. I told her I loved her. I held her. I kissed her. I told her that I would always be there for her - that I would always protect her. Did I keep my promise, Gojyo?"  
  
"But, Hakkai - -," Gojyo stammered. He wanted to explain that he should stop beating himself up over it. Damn it, Hakkai, Gojyo thought. I'll leave if you don't want me.  
  
"Answer me," Hakkai commanded. "Did I?"  
  
"N - no...."  
  
"Now," Hakkai turned his back to Gojyo and lifted his head skyward, "what would she want now? What can she want me to do now?"  
"I think that she would...," he hesitated, "would want you to be happy."  
  
"Gojyo, th - -!" Hakkai was cut off as a palm came into swift contact with one of his tear - streaked cheeks.   
"Get a hold of yourself!" Gojyo yelled. "Listen to me, Hakkai! Please, for once, let me tell you what I think is best." Hakkai's hand crept slowly over his, now red and burning, cheek where Gojyo had slapped him. "If she loved you so much," he began, "then I think that she would want you to be happy. I don't care if that's with me or not." Of course I do.... "But I hate to see my best friend so sad." I hate to see him anything but happy. "So... if you hate me that much, you can leave. You have my love, even if you don't want to return it." Damn, that was cruel. I want to take it back. I can't. "Leave. As long as I remember your sweet face and lovely personality, you can hate me all you want. Tell me what you want but I'll still love you." And with that, Gojyo turned and headed toward the bed, where he folded back the covers and slipped in.  
  
Hakkai felt absolutely horrified - like the sassy little prick in some other television show that just realized the mistake of their life and someone had pointed it out to them. Someone they cared for beyond reason, beyond mere words.   
  
And then, Gojyo asked one question, something honest that he felt he would die if he did not know the answer to, "Hakkai?"  
"Yes?" His tone trembled.  
  
"You you be angry... if I kissed you?"  
*End Chapter 3*  
  
Author Notes:  
  
*Ahhh! I feel absolutely horrible! I want to apologize to my muses for what you've just read! And apologize to the readers if you didn't like it! I'M SORRY - Y - Y - Y! My scanner is not working at the moment and I have tons of fanart to put up. Maybe I can do it at my g.f.'s house, but who knows? She DOES have a scanner... and one that works at that! *smiles* Oh, and chapter four is gonna take some time, lots of course. Oh! Thank you to the ONLY PERSON that reviewed my story so far! Thanks a bunch! You rule! That was the first review that I had gotten... EVER. Yeah, this is the first fic of mine that I actually think is doing a pretty good job and can be put up here for you people to read. Ano.... Arigato gozaimasu!* (Yes, I am learning Japanese: Watashi wa "Minoru Tokitoh" desu!)  
  
[1] I did not degrade Hakkai's ability when I said that all he could do was dodge. Seriously, that's what he was thinking when he was dodging Goku's fists.  
[2] Alright, alright, alright, alright... I know that in the anime, Hakkai does not tear out his eye all the way. Goku stops him. (Oh, and by the way, "89" is EVIL!!!) But in the manga, he actually tears out his eye... all the way. No, it is not a pretty picture. Made me cry. This also makes me wonder... where does he get his other eye later on in the manga? I was reading it and then I noticed and I was like, "What does he get a glass eye?" 'Cause we all know that you cannot grow your eye back; can't pop it back in either. Too many nerves and such. Gah, that really makes me wonder. Oh, and if it says so in the manga... I can read very little Japanese but krud, I don't know! I just "dun" know!  
[3] Hey! People! WAKE UP! Sanzo x Goku is EVIL! I know I say that a bunch but it is bad! Evil! Gah! I have noticed that Goku may like Sanzo... a little more than he should but COME ON! Personaly, I do not think that Goku goes with anyone but Nataku but how can some of the other Saiyuki fans out there pair him with anyone else that isn't big - eyed and cute in the "aw - look - at - him - isn't - he cute?" kind of way? I found sites that pair Goku with: Sanzo, Hakkai, Gojyo, Nataku, and Homura. Homura!? Gojyo!? Hakkai!? Sanzo!? Oi, I get a headache everytime I talk about this... Talk? Hell no. I'm rambling. Heh. To sum it up... 39 = EVIL! (Personaly, I like Sanzo x Homura. And some of you people out there probably hate me now. Save Sanzo from Goku's "cute-boy" wrath. When I say cute I don't mean attractive. Goku? Attractive? Not in my book! Sanzo on the other hand... *drools*)  
[4] Who out there has seen Night Walker: Midnight Detective? Love it. Remember when Riho brought that lunch for Shido and Guni was making her think Shido was saying bad stuff?  
Riho: Wow, Mr. Shido, I never knew you knew ventrilaquism! (is that how you spell it?)  
Shido: Aheh... *grabs Guni* I'm just too shy to eat this in front of you! *sqeeky voice*   
Yeah, picture Gojyo with the same look on his face that Shido had... Aw! (Cain x Shido.... RULES!)  
  
Crap, how long can I ramble? Jeez! Well, look forward to Chapter Four - Part Fourth! Thanks for reading! Ja! (Shoot, I left my Gojyo x Hakkai lemon in my parent's room! Gotta find it! PLEASE REVIEW!) Until next time! 


	4. True

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter 4/?  
  
Rating: R for later chapters; PG - 13 for now  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Blood and the like  
  
Main Paiting: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately enough for me, I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, etc. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi  
  
Confession: Shit, I wait until now to say this but.... I haven't seen all of Gensomaden Saiyuki yet... *BOOOOOM!* If it wasn't obvious before, then it is now! My local anime store where I rent all of my stuff (including Saiyuki) doesn't have the first or the third DVD's of the first season anymore. The first DVD was rented by this one kid who never brought it back because they moved and I rented the third DVD and watched episodes #19 - 22 1/2. Yeah, that's right: 22 1/2. F*cking Disc Read Error on my PS2. (Speaking of my PS2, I lost my Orphen video game!!!) I brought it to the guy in the rental/sale store and he said it was pretty beat up. They don't let people rent it anymore 'cause they aren't gonna get much outta it. (Got the second DVD though!) So if I make a few statements that just aren't true... WORK WITH ME HERE! I'm saving up for the rest of the manga and the box set! That totals over $100.00!!! *cries* But I would like to add that I have seen over thirty episodes. Okasan won't let me rent anything at the moment so I am unsure of the precise amount. (How can a 13 year old make $100.00 without going mentally insane first!?)  
  
REMEMBER!!: "A - duh!" (as my mother would say) we are still in the middle of the flashback.  
  
Apology: If you guys are looking for some major shounen ai goodness, this really isn't the chapter. There is a lot of go - o - o - d stuff in here but in the later part of the chapter, there isn't much. I was just reading the manga and all so... yeah. Book 3 for anybody who cares. Ha ha. Enjoy and don't forget to review!  
____________  
  
Part Fourth (4/?)  
  
"Would you be angry... if I kissed you?" Hakkai was stunned. He wanted to move, wanted to say something but Gojyo went on, unmoving from his spot underneath his covers, "It's wierd, y'know? I can remember back when I was walking home from, what I thought, was a typical poker night; poker, women and the like. Then all of a sudden you fell in front of me. I feel bad now for saying that I did this but I actually... sorta kicked you. And I was all, 'Hey, are you dead?' And then you looked at me. I was so amazed. You smiled at me. I dropped my jacket in the mud once I saw that smile. 'Forget the damned thing,' I told myself. 'This guy is in trouble.' You know how it isn't my style to pick up a guy offa the streets and all... but you were different - you still are. Damn, I mean, if I didn't hear her..."  
  
"Her?"  
  
"I never told you but there was this voice that I heard when I looked in your eyes and you smiled up at me. She kept saying, 'Help him, help him.' She had the most beautiful voice, Hakkai. I know it doesn't sound like me to say this but it really was. I helped you. Part of because I wanted to and part of because she told me to."  
  
"I - -"  
  
"And Hakkai?"  
  
"Y - yes?"  
  
"You were lucky... that you got to hear her voice so often...."  
  
Gojyo felt Hakkai behind him, leaning down and wrapping his arms around his waist softly. "I'm so sorry," Hakkai began. "Gojyo whenever I've had to think about falling in love with you, be it at the meal table or in Jiipu, I've always excused myself with something terrible, like, 'Oh, please wait just a moment?' or 'Oh, my! I almost forgot!' Well, that's because I would always go to the restroom and splash water over my face or something. After my sister was gone... the thought of love always tore me to pieces inside. And it was all your fault." Hakkai tightened his grip. "But I'm glad that it was. I was so glad that you were in my life, even if you didn't love me then." He paused.  
  
"I fell in love even when I brought you back to my house those few years back." Gojyo smiled. "I said you were different from the rest, didn't I?"  
  
"Yes.... Gojyo?"  
  
"Hn?" Gojyo rolled over slightly so that Hakkai had to remove his arms completely. The green - eyed man sat so that he was on the edge of the bed and leaning over Gojyo.   
  
"To your question earlier...."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I would not be angry."  
  
"That means I can?" Gojyo whispered as he raised a hand up to Hakkai, placing his slender fingers on the bottom of Hakkai's chin. The brunette nodded slowly as new tears rolled down his already damp cheeks. Gojyo's fingers stroked Hakkai's chin softly before he finally grasped it slightly and pulled the healer down to him. And with that, Gojyo pressed his lips to Hakkai's. So soft. Hakkai's lips were so much like velvet. They were softer and smoother than silk; like silk... no flaws. Gojyo could not help himself as he wrapped his arms around Hakkai's waist, pressing their chests together and opening his mouth slightly. Hakkai gasped but it only deepened the kiss as Gojyo closed his lips around the other man's. Hakkai wanted to pull back and Gojyo noted it, paying every ounce of his attention to make sure that he was not hurting or scaring him. The red - haired man slowly pulled back. Hakkai was surprised but not so much as to let another gasp escape from his lips as he slapped both hands over his mouth suddenly and fell forward, Gojyo catching him in his tender embrace. "Baby...," Gojyo began. "Was that too much?" Hakkai shook his head and said nothing as Gojyo pulled Hakkai to him, closer.   
  
They fell asleep that way: both Gojyo and Hakkai sleeping peacefully in the same bed, not minding that the covers seemed to avoid their bodies. But all that Hakkai did was mouth something that he knew Gojyo neither heard nor saw... but he meant it all the same, "I love you.... Gojyo."  
"Gojyo?"  
  
Ah... Morning already?  
  
"Gojyo?"  
  
Oh, Hakkai....  
  
"Wake up, Gojyo!"  
  
The red - haired man rolled over onto his side and moaned softly - something like, "Mm... Hakkai."  
  
The brunette blushed the adorable pink - coloured flush that always crept across his cheeks whenever Gojyo said something like what was just uttered. His thoughts explained to him that he had done enough blushing the previous night just from talking out his relationship with Gojyo.  
  
"Hakkai?" Gojyo groaned hoarsely as his eyelids dragged open reluctantly.   
  
"Erm... yes. We need to leave and get back to the town where Sanzo and Goku are."  
  
"Ah!" Gojyo sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. They'll pretty much go insane if you aren't there to lecture on the 'No Bloodspatter' rules." He laughed through his teeth as he slowly pushed himself out of bed and rose his arms high over his head in a stretch, completely revealing his masculine chest and the perfect hip bones that his pants then failed to cover as they slipped down slightly, seeing as Gojyo's waist was, indeed, thin but with perfectly chiseled abdomen muscles.   
  
'Oh, God...,' Hakkai thought. 'He really is beautiful....'  
  
"Well, then," Gojyo commented, sauntering over to Hakkai and, finding the tiny snow - coloured dragon perched happily on his shoulder, he lifted his hand and scratched his chin lightly, recieving a happy 'kyu' noise, "We should get going before Sanzo hunts us down, eh?"  
  
"Yes," Hakkai concured. "But perhaps you would like to slip on a shirt, Gojyo?" The brunette hid a small laugh behind his hand as Gojyo suddenly remembered that he had been shirtless the entire time and, looking himself over quickly, he recollected,  
  
"Oh... yeah. I need a shirt, don't I?"  
  
"Erm... yes."  
  
"Aw, Hakkai!" Gojyo pointed to his companion suddenly, grinning from ear to ear. "I see that blush!"  
  
"Ah!" Hakkai startled, attempting to cover it up by turning slightly to one side and placing a hand over one of his cheeks. Tiny squeaks were heard from Hakuryu as his eyes were shut in laughter at the current situation. It wasn't often that Hakkai was caught offguard - not to mention surprised by his own reactions [1].   
  
Hakuryu leant forward slightly and nuzzled his master's jawline affectionately before talking flight and landing on the chair he had been on the previous day, leaving Hakkai in confusion, which later turned to understanding as Gojyo took the few steps that separated them and wrapped his arms around his waist, his lips near his cuffed ear. "You said it again last night, didn't you?"  
  
"What?" Hakkai whispered, momentarilly clueless as to what Gojyo was speaking of.  
  
"You mouthed it. You said you loved me," Gojyo whispered back. "What, you think I didn't see it?"  
  
The brunette smiled and slowly let his eyes slip shut as his arms rested inbetween them, his hands over Gojyo's muscled shoulders. "Yes, I did." He moved his head to rest on the crook of Gojyo's neck. "I meant it, too," he murmured.   
  
And Gojyo pulled the other man closer to him still, his arms bending at the elbow to wrap themselves still tighter around Hakkai. But even in all the romance that hung in the air, all of the things they had said to each other, Gojyo felt Hakkai's body in his arms, tense. His muscles were tightened; he was nervous. Nervous? Of what? He was not scared that Gojyo was going to hurt him, was he? Or was it the other way around - that he was afraid something would happen to the half - breed because his past would plant a trap in his path? Even so, the scarlet - eyed man did not blame the youkai in his arms entirely. They had both had tragic pasts and Hakkai's was one that no one could ever, ever forget; the same went for Gojyo.   
  
'But...,' Gojyo thought. 'Once my step - mother was gone... my brother left... When I got older...,' His eyes brimmed with tears as he recalled every event. 'That's why I slept with so many women?' he realized. 'Was it for her? Was it for mother?'  
  
"Gojyo," Hakkai haulted his thoughts as he lifted his head from where he had laid it near the other man's neck and stared into the ruby - red eyes that shone like true gems. 'They really do,' Hakkai understood. 'They really do look like blood.' Sadly, he remembered informing Gojyo of the fact, before he took his leave of the half - breed's house years back, that his eyes and hair had reminded him of blood; and that whenever he had tried to forget, Gojyo was his reminder. He also told him that the crimson staining his hands was the only thing that binded him to the real world. But it was the color - red: frobidden intercourse between youkai and human; it was a taboo. And Gojyo's hair and eyes reminded himself of the unbelievable angst he had experienced as a child and teenager. Red was the color of blood. But now, as Hakkai stared into Gojyo's eyes, they really did look like blood: the normally burning red eyes that Gojyo possessed were transformed from the tears, and the moisture shone over his iris, creating the bloody look.   
  
It was then that Hakkai got to wonder: 'His eyes are so crimson. Has he ever cried blood?'  
  
Gojyo blinked. The tear rolled down his cheek, leaving the tanned skin with a glossy look in the tear's wake. It was clear.   
  
'I suppose not...,' Hakkai contemplated.   
  
"Hakkai?" Gojyo inquired softly, almost shyly as he tightened his grip the most unnoticable bit.   
  
"Gojyo?"  
  
"You look so beautiful. What are you thinking about?"  
  
Hakkai hesitated to speak his true feelings as to what he had been contemplating over the last few minutes, seeing as Gojyo was so saddenned when he had told him about his hair and eyes so far back, but then decided so speak, "I was thinking about your eyes, Gojyo."  
  
Impossible was possible right then as Gojyo's eyes became even glassier, the tears flowing freely, almost instantly after Hakkai's words, without a blink or movement of them. Averting them would cost him the reason, but leaving them fixed where they were would cause more pain. "Why?" He chose the pain.  
  
"Remember that I told you that they reminded me of blood?"  
  
"Yeah," his tone was choked.   
  
"I've been wanting to say this for a while now but that isn't all that they remind me of now. You know, they have a sparkle in them like someone could have sprinkled glitter unto them... but that is a definite understatement. I really do love the way that the sun glints off of your iris when you open your eyes from napping in the back of Jiipu; and when you get the thought of playing a prank on Goku, you always have this lovely, and at the same time, hilarious twinkle that doesn't really fade until Goku is in agony from your joke or you're beating up on each other. Not to mention when Sanzo fires his gun or hits your with his fan, your eyes grow to the size of billiard balls either from shock or from pain. Like I said just a minute ago: those were the understatements."  
  
"Hakkai...," Gojyo murmured. How in the world could Hakkai come up with such a phenomenal description on the spur of the moment? Memory served the red - haired man correct, however, in reinforming him that the brunette in his arms used to be a teacher. Maybe he should begin to call him the living dictionary; he was the smartest person he had ever met.   
  
The scarlet - eyed man wanted to lean down to kiss the man in front of him. A "good morning" kiss or something to help clear the pain - of which he was not sure. But as he just began to move his lips toward Hakkai's, the brunette slowly untangled himself from Gojyo's grasp and reminded him, "Well, shall we go then? Perhaps if we got back today, Sanzo would not have such a fit."  
  
Gojyo nodded and wiped away the tears with his white wife - beater before he pulled the loose material over his chest, followed by the azure denim vest.   
"Damn, it's pretty hot," Gojyo muttered from the passenger's seat as they drove across the solitude, the sun beating down on them with no mercy of any kind. Since Sanzo and Goku weren't there at the moment, he decided to see the view from the spot next to Hakkai. "I'm no Goku but it's actually worth complaining about!"  
  
"Well, at least Sanzo is not here to slap you over the head," Hakkai joked, his shoulders shook with laughter.   
  
"Damn right."  
  
"Do you remember," Hakkai started, "when we picked up that youkai woman in the desert and she wanted to be taken to the city we were headed toward?"  
  
"You mean when you just drove right off of the cliff and we sped down the side?"  
  
"Yes! And then we finally crashed into the ground and you said something like, 'Hakkai! You bastard!'"  
  
"Yeah, well, I didn't mean that literally." [2]  
  
"No, it's okay. See, what really made me laugh was when Sanzo... threw his fan at you!" Hakkai began to laugh as he continued to speak. "He threw it at you and then you said, 'Hey! You're supposed to hit people with that thing, not throw it!'"  
  
"Aw, shit, yeah! I'm surprised he didn't say somethin' like, 'Don't tell me how to do my job.'" They both shared a good laugh as they drove on, the situation concerning the unbearable heat was suddenly forgotten as they continued on. "Hakkai?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You're a smart dude, so tell me: How come it takes so much longer to get somewhere but it seems shorter when you come back?"  
  
"Well, Gojyo, just because I used to be a teacher doesn't make me a genius."  
  
"You're smarter than me, so tell me!" Gojyo beamed.  
  
"Gojyo!"  
  
"Hey! It's the truth."  
  
"Well, I really have no idea but it seems to me like it's an issue with patience. If you desire to reach a place, it's like reversing the saying, 'Time flies when you're having fun'. Sort of like if you can't stop thinking about the town or such that you want to reach. Then, I guess when you're coming back, you don't seem as eager to get back to where you origionally started. Understand?"  
  
"I... think so."  
  
"Ah, I don't really understand it myself."  
I can remember  
So far back  
When I would laugh  
Without a care in the world  
You were beside me  
And we drove all night....  
  
The way your hair blows in the wind makes me shiver  
The way your eyes shimer with sunlight makes me want to embrace you  
The wind dries your lips and you lick them  
It makes me want to kiss you  
  
I'm sorry for what happened back then  
I couldn't do anything to help you  
I fell to pieces like you had to  
Twice  
Thrice  
Too many times to count  
  
The way your hair blows in the wind makes me shiver  
The way your eyes shimer with sunlight makes me want to embrace you  
The wind dries your lips and you lick them  
It makes me want to kiss you  
  
It makes me want to kiss you:  
Hard   
Passionate  
Lovingly  
  
I love you  
You trip  
And I will catch you  
"Ne! Hakkai!" Goku exclaimed from the hotel window, leaning out far enough to nearly fall out. "Gojyo!"  
  
"Hello, Goku!" Hakkai waved from the ground, two stories away from the excited teenager.  
  
"Where in the world were you guys!?"  
  
Gojyo took a step forward and smirked, "I got sick and got put in another town's hospital. Hakkai was worried so he sent me a living 'get well' card."  
  
"Wha--?"  
  
Hakkai blushed and motioned for Hakuryu to land on his shoulder, the little dragon having just transformed from his jeep form in a flash of white light.   
"So," Sanzo began one morning, in his usual seat at the breakfast table across from the brunette, "what happened?"  
  
"What do you mean by that, Sanzo?"  
  
"Hell, looks like he did something to you."  
  
"What!? What do you mean!?" Hakkai exclaimed, taken aback with coffee pot in hand.  
  
"Nevermind. It's just that sometimes I think you really have something for that guy."  
  
"Sanzo, remember, Gojyo and I are just friends. Besides, he's a player. Erm... remember? You and I both know how much he loves women. Besides, you know he'd never go for me even if, hypothetically, I did like him; although I admit, I am heterosexual, as 'normal' people usually are."  
  
"My bad. You blush a lot around him, though. Gets noticed after the first ten times, Hakkai." Sanzo turned the page to yesterday's newspaper.  
  
"Sanzo, didn't you ask me about this before?"  
  
"Yeah, and you stated you were heterosexual three times in the last conversation about Gojyo."  
  
"Just... stating the obvious."  
  
"It is obvious."  
  
"Of course it is."  
  
"That depends.... You talking about Gojyo?"  
  
"Sanzo!"  
"Ne, Gojyo!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Ah, you like Hakkai!"  
  
"What!?" Gojyo let a harsh blow come into contact with the back of Goku's head with no mercy.   
  
"Owa~! Gojyo! That hurt!"  
  
"I'm glad," Gojyo grinned.  
  
"Why'd you do that!?"  
  
"God, just keep outta other people's business, will ya?"  
  
"Then...," Goku's eyes widened as he pointed an accusing finger at the half - breed, "You DO like him!"  
  
"Damn it all, bakasaru, we're just friends! We'll always be friends! Damn!" "Ne, but you look at him all funny!"  
  
"Funny?"  
  
"Yeah, like, you look at him and you smile all goofy and you look sleepy once and one time I actually saw you blow him a kiss in the hall! And the Hakkai smiles and blushes."  
  
"Goddammit, SHUT UP!" Gojyo let his boot come in contact with Goku's (near empty) cranium before pushing him to the floor and stomping on him once before showing some mercy and letting him stand [3].   
  
"Ow... dizzy...." Goku rubbed his head and stumbled over in front of Gojyo. "You still like him."  
  
"Ga - a - d! Do I have to kill you to get you to shut up!?"  
  
"Aya - a - a - a! Sanzo he - e - e - e - elp!"  
~End Chapter 4~  
*To be continued*  
  
Author Notes:  
  
[1] The whole thing about how our bodies do things that we aren't aware of until the last moment has really caught my eye. I have had my B.F. tell me that I flush pale instead of blush. Yeah and she rocks back and forth and doesn't even know it until I tell her to stop, "It's bugging me!" I haven't blushed very much at all and I know that from other people telling me, you can't really feel it creeping onto your face but you get hot. Is that true?  
[2] People today use the term "bastard" incorrectly, for the most part, today. Actually, I was feeling unclear of the actual meaning so, after watching the anime "BastarD!!", I go upstairs and pull out this huge 2 - inch dictionary and look up the word. Now I can correct people when they use it incorrectly or congradulate them when they use it right! (Bastard: an illegitimate child)  
[3] Oh... my... God.... I actually got to see the first half of Gensomaden Saiyuki episode #23, and that one part before my DVD messed up was when Goku made this little sound and then you see Gojyo and they're both in this allyway. All that you see is Goku and Gojyo's leg beating the living shitfire out of him... over and over and over again. Crap, that was hilarious, despite the seriousness of the moment.  
  
Well, please read chapter #5! Oh, and please, please review. God, I never thought I would have the sheer willpower to actually make this thing longer than three or four chapters, but obviously, this is going to be much, much longer! At least I have ONE REVIEWER.... Along with my friends, that's... three people that are encouraging me to keep going. Oh yeah... that's re - e - e - e - al nice. Ha ha.   
  
Ja. 


	5. Sketch

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003   
  
Chapter: 5/?  
  
Rating: R for later chapters; PG - 13 for now  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Disclaimer: I definetly do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki... Wild Adapter, Beehive, BusGamer AAA, or any other wonderful Minekura Kazuya titles. I have great news that I have about half of the manga sitting on my shelf right now (next to Tenshi Kenryoku *smiles*) but her ideas are far from mine.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi - very much in this chapter.  
  
Apology: I am sorry for delaying these chapters for so long. Hey, I am only 13 years old. Don't hurt me. I had the Gateway. *cries* I want to get into eighth grade! Please don't hit me! Good news, though, for people who care! I can read the manga in Japanese now! I just have to figure out what it all means.... *big sweatdrop*  
  
Dedication: This is for Bon Jovi for being such a damned great band, but like they would care that I wrote this because of their song. I doubt they would. But I used Bon Jovi's "Born to Be My Baby" off of their CD "New Jersey" for the title and later theme. Everything is copyrighted these days ("These Days" = other Bon Jovi song; ha ha). Just thought I would say something.  
  
Have fun and don't forget to review.  
__________________________________  
  
Part Fifth (5/?)  
²Day 1 Travel: Different²  
They all decided to leave near two days after Gojyo and Hakkai's return to the other members of the Sanzo - ikkou (who would have surely killed each other if Hakkai were not there to settle the fights and sort things out). It was early morning and the sun was not even peeking over the horizon yet but Hakkai was up before any of the other men in the hotel and was getting packed, humming to himself softly so as not to wake Gojyo, who had insisted that he sleep in the same room with Hakkai now, to Sanzo and Goku's confusion. Gojyo claimed that he and Hakkai had come upon a disagreement and desired to sort out the matters. It "just so happened" that it took forever and Gojyo was sleeping in Hakkai's room for two days after their return. Separate beds, mind you, as expected. Unfortunately for the healer and half - breed, it only rose Sanzo's suspicions but when he heard that they had gotten into a "fight", he dropped the subject from his mind completely. Goku would tease Gojyo - it was obvious... and Goku would get hurt.   
  
Hakkai suddenly paused in his packing of his extra clothes when he noticed that he was humming a very familiar tune: it was something that Gojyo had hummed to him when he was living with him those few years back. He remembered being Cho Gonou and lying helplessly in bed, sleeping or exhausted and Gojyo would probably be shuffling the card deck by the brunette's request or picking up the few things that had been left astray over the floor and he would hum the song. It was, indeed, something that Hakkai hadn't heard before, so, he found it new, but at the same time, so similar to something he would have expected.   
  
Reaching for one last piece of extra clothing to pack into the small bundle - bag, the brunette's fingertips granced a cold metal frame - a picture frame. It was a picture he hid in one of his garments to prevent anyone finding it: a picture of her. He removed the picture, frame and all, from the inside of the shirt and looked unto it. Kanan stood in a flower garden, the sakura blossoms blowing through the wind and getting tangled over her beautiful form. Her smile was absolutely gorgeous as she held her hand up to her ear, keeping a flower in place behind her ear. Hakkai sighed and bit his bottom lip while looking at the picture of his extremely attractive sister. Finally, he put a finger to the picture, to Kanan's chin and murmured, "There's someone I want you to meet."  
  
And with that, he pulled the small tab out from the back of the picture so that it would be able to stand upright on the bantam nightstand in between the two beds in the hotel room. The green - eyed man advanced slowly toward the scarlet - eyed half - breed sleeping soundly in the other bed across from his and, placing a gentle hand on Gojyo's bare shoulder, Hakkai shook him slightly, beckoning softly, "Gojyo? Please, wake up."  
  
"Ha... Hakkai?" Gojyo rolled over sleepily and rubbed an eye with one of his slender fingers before inquiring, "What is it, hun?"  
  
"Please, will you do something for me? Just for me?" Hakkai querried.  
"Anything."  
"Please get up first?"  
  
"Sure," Gojyo agreed and stretched his arms in bed before throwing the covers off of his sleep - tired form and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and, catching the seriousness painted onto Hakkai's face, he hurried and stood before him and allowed Hakkai to take his arm and pull him to in front of the nightstand, in front of the picture.  
  
The brunette stared to the red - haired man, his eyes burning deep into his friend's before directing his attention to the photo of Kanan on the nightstand in front of the two of them. And he said, "Kanan, this is Gojyo." The red - haired man's eyes widened. Kanan? Hakkai's sister? He'd heard about her from Hakkai before but he surely had never seen her before. But once he heard that one sentence from the brunette at his side, his attention snapped to the photo and he layed eyes upon the most beautiful woman he had even seen. He felt his fingers curl around Hakkai's as the brunette took Gojyo's hand in his almost tightly as the words escaped his lips, "I love him." He paused then, and he turned to Gojyo and with teary eyes and a tender smile, he spoke, "Don't let anybody tell you that you can never love two people." The brunette ran his thumb along the back of Gojyo's hand before pulling the red - haired man down for a precious kiss, Hakkai's other hand to the back of Gojyo's neck.   
  
They parted, staring into each other's eyes. Hakkai stated, bluntly, honestly, with no fear of the other's reply, "Damn it, I love you so much."  
  
"And I love you, Hakkai," Gojyo pledged. "I always want to."  
  
Hakkai smiled, despite the fact that he removed himself from Gojyo, and moved toward the lovely photo atop the extremely small bureau. He took it up in both hands and brought it to his lips, placing a soft kiss the fragile glass of the picture. He felt Gojyo come up behind him and turned his head to find Gojyo staring at the picture also. Their eyes met and in an instant, Gojyo knew it was alright to take the action he was about to take: He brought one finger to his lips and kissed the fingertip and then, he placed it to the picture also. The brunette smiled and wrapped the picture in the shirt it had previously taken home to and put it into the small bag on his bed.   
  
"Gojyo, would you like to pack your things now; just to get the task out of the way?" Hakkai asked, looking over his shoulder. The red - haired man shrugged and gathered up his clothes, folded and all, and placed them gently into Hakkai's bag. To avoid travelling with a larger number of luggage bags, Gojyo and Hakkai had decided to pack their belongings together, to make the load lighter for anyone who was unfortunate enough to lose at Jan - Ken - Pon, which Goku was usually the won to emerge without victory, which meant he would whine... a lot [1].   
  
"What now? You woke me up pretty early, Hakkai," Gojyo said, pulling a very loose shirt over his bare chest and back, never minding if it was so big that the collar was lopsided and hanging over one of his shoulders.  
  
"Well, the great thing about waking up early is that, as long as we're quiet, we may be able to have breakfast downstairs together."  
  
"Nah, too early for breakfast. I'm not really hungry yet." Gojyo smiled. "You can go if you want." But the offer was rejected when Hakkai stepped forward and took Gojyo's hand in his once again and murmured,   
  
"No, Gojyo. As ridiculous as this may sound, I don't want you and I to be apart." And he tugged his hand from the half - breed's grip, feeling the pressure in his chest build up as tears threatened to run down his cheeks, and wrapped his arms around Gojyo's waist, his face in the crook of the other man's neck. "I don't want to be alone anymore."  
  
"Hakkai...," Gojyo whispered, speechless as he put his arms over Hakkai's shoulders, locking his hands behind the brunette, letting them rest between his shoulder blades.   
  
Hakuryu opened one shining ruby eye from its sleeping spot atop the cushion of a hotel chair and smiled when he saw what he did. He was pleased, indeed, in the fact that Hakkai and Gojyo realized their feelings for each other and now were more open toward each other with their relationship.  
  
Deciding to give the two men their needed privacy, Hakuryu closed his open eye and yawned softly before dozing back to sleep.   
  
The red - haired man was, indeed, shocked when he felt the non - too - familiar moisture that seeped through the loose sleeve of his shirt that came from Hakkai and, gently taking the brunette's chin in one of his hands, the scarlet - eyed man lifted the former teacher's gaze up to fall upon him. "Oh, God, baby...," Gojyo murmured, shaking his head the slightest bit. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, I'm just...," Hakkai trailed off as he averted his teary eyes from the half - breed but then resumed eye contact when he continued, "I'm so glad you're here."   
  
And with that, Gojyo pulled Hakkai closer to him still and leant over slightly, pushing his lips to the other man's. The brunette let his eyes to slowly drift shut as he opened his mouth, much to the surprise of the red - haired man, but the action was welcomed as Gojyo smiled and parted their lips reluctantly. Slowly, and with Hakkai still wrapped in his arms, Gojyo somehow or another got them both to sit down on the edge of his bed with no pretest from the other man and they resumed their sweet kissing there.   
  
But when Gojyo softly began to push Hakkai backward and onto the oversized pillows, the brunette haulted with a soft, "Uh... Gojyo."  
  
"It's alright, baby. I won't do anything you don't want me to. All I want to do is look at you," Gojyo hushed with a tender smile and took one of Hakkai's cheeks in his hand. He came closer still and said, "And kiss you."   
  
Hakkai felt the familiar rush of heat flood to his cheeks as they turned pink but Gojyo ignored the change of colour and kissed the man beneath him once more.   
  
The brunette's body slowly began to relax in Gojyo's arms as they continued kissing. Hakkai let himself sink into the huge down - feather pillows, almost creating walls around him from three sides. Gojyo parted their lips and he was the only thing that Hakkai could see then; the only thing that he wanted to see then.  
  
The former teacher reached up with one almost trembling hand and put it to Gojyo's scarred cheek. The red - haired man stared into the verdant - green eyes that he never realized, until now, how much he loved and placed one arm around Hakkai, behind his shoulders and, with his other hand, he took the green - eyed man's hand over his cheek and brought a fingertip to his lips. Hakkai watched, almost mesmerized and Gojyo slowly kissed each of his fingertips. Gojyo's eyes were closed as he did so and after he had kissed each of the other man's fingertips, he went through all five of them again and sucked on them slightly before finally placing the hand back onto his cheek once more.   
  
Gojyo smiled as he leant forward and layed a quick kiss on the tip of Hakkai's nose and Hakkai giggled slightly when he felt the scarlet - eyed man's eyelashes over his forehead. And he said, "Oh, Gojyo, you can be quite the romantic."  
  
It was startling when the former general replied, "You're the only one I have done that to; kissed their fingertips and layed them down just to look at them."  
  
Hakkai beamed, "I love you."  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
"We still have a little time before the sun comes up and Sanzo and Goku wake. What should we do now?"  
  
"Let's just stay here," Gojyo decided and placed himself so that he was next to Hakkai, snug close due to the small size of the bed, and took Hakkai's hand in his, locking their fingers. He brought his head to Hakkai's neck and placed a small kiss over the pale skin and murmured, "I really do wish we could stay this way forever."  
  
"Unfortunately enough for us, and for many of the other people on this planet," Hakkai began, "wishes don't always come true."  
"Well, let's get going," Sanzo concluded once the four of them had finished a late breakfast and were all packed in Jiipu and ready to go.   
  
"Yeah!" Goku bounced up and hopped into the jeep with an eager face on.  
  
Gojyo came up and took his seat in the back, too. "Don't rattle that gray matter of your's too bad, bakasaru."  
  
"Shut up, akagokiburi [1]! At least I have gray matter!" "Now, now, let's not start this this early in the day," Hakkai hushed. Gojyo smiled and shut up. Sanzo sighed, the vein on his head clearly visible. 'Sanzo will surely explode if it keeps going at this rate,' Hakkai thought with a light chuckle that did not receive any inquirey from the other three.   
They had been driving for nearly an hour already, along the vast barren land [2] and Goku had only complained that he was hungry... four or five times. He had already eaten the few extra bags of food that had been in the napsack in the back of Jiipu but was still protesting.   
  
"Shut up before you give me a migrain," Sanzo commanded and put both hands to his temples to ward off the headache that was sure to be on its way soon.   
  
"But Sanzo~!" Goku whined. "Can't we stop to get something?"  
  
"We've only been driving for an hour, ape, and how're we supposed to get there if you don't shut your trap and ignore your stomach for ONCE?"  
  
"Shut up! I'm surprised you haven't said anything about women for a while, water demon! What is it, you lost your mojo?"  
  
"I'm surprised you even know that word, stupid monkey!"  
  
Hakkai laughed and directed the statement to Gojyo, "Ah, Gojyo lost his mojo." It was a joke of course, and there were very few people that could stay mad at Hakkai for long so all Gojyo did was laugh it off and swatted one over the gold - eyed teen's head.   
  
"Or maybe," Goku started, "you found someone you really like." He elbowed Gojyo and pointed to Hakkai. This action recieved two good kicks to the head by the half - breed and a painful whine from the ape.  
  
"Gojyo, pass me the map for a moment?" Hakkai asked as he slowly let Jiipu run to a stop. The red - haired half - breed dug around under the driver's seat and suddenly noticed that the opportunity for him to grab the brunette's ankle was open. Of course, the adorable blush that would creep onto his face would go noticed by the monk and monkey so he refused the sudden urge to seize the healer's leg and took the map out instead. He handed it to Hakkai with a smile. "Thank you."  
  
"Sure." Gojyo leant back against the very back of Jiipu while Goku stiffled a laugh behind both of his hands. He couldn't resist:  
  
"Gojyo and Hakkai! Sitting in a tree! K - I - S - S - I - N - G!"  
  
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!" Gojyo then proceeded to beat the living shit - fire out of the ape while Hakkai blushed immensely and put a hand over his mouth in shock,  
  
"Oh, my...."  
  
Sanzo: "I knew it. I just knew it."  
  
"B - but, Sanzo, you never really listen to Goku. Not to be rude or anything, but what makes you think he is telling the truth?" Hakkai said.  
  
"Point." Sanzo concured then decided to take a much needed nap.  
  
'This is going to be a bit harder than I thought,' Hakkai contemplated.   
  
²Day 2 Travel: Sketch²  
"Wow, you are very good!" Hakkai remarked as he leant over the shoulder of a young girl dressed in full bandana and a torn pear of shorts who had a sketchbook and pencil in hand. It was outside of the hotel they were currently staying in and Hakkai was, as usual, waking up before or with the sun now.   
  
"Ah.... Thank you," she said, seeming confused. She returned her attention to her sketch in her lap and ran a few more fine lines with the 3H sketch pencil before Hakkai remarked,   
  
"May I see your other sketches?"  
  
"Sure." She handed him the book and he flipped to the front and examined the first hard sketch: amazingly enough, it was of Sanzo smoking and gazing out of his hotel window, his head propped on his hand which leant on the windowsill.  
  
"Have you met him?" Hakkai asked. The girl shook her head before saying,  
  
"But I know that you have. You always talk to him and stuff. Oh, and that red - haired guy, too."  
  
"You mean Gojyo?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess. If that's his name." She smiled. "You and him are really fun to draw."  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Um - hm. Flip the page."  
  
Hakkai did as she told him to and found a sketch of Gojyo and him shopping on a street corner in the marketplace - something he remembered. But there was one thing about the picture that was in the sketchbook that he did not remember: In the sketch, Gojyo had his arm around Hakkai's waist and Hakkai was suggesting upon buying some item that he held in his hand. He recalled that Gojyo did not have his arm around Hakkai when they were shopping.  
  
"Did you draw this when you saw us yesterday?"  
  
"Yeah," the girl answered. Then she looked a little embarassed and spoke, "I kinda followed you around because you reminded me of these really pretty colours so I wanted to get a really good picture so that I might be able to paint you and him if I get enough money for the stuff."  
  
"Ah, but there is one thing about this sketch," Hakkai said. "See, he never put his arm around me." He laughed.  
  
"Oh, I know he didn't put his arm around you out there but you and him looked so happy together that I thought that you would be together. I think you would make the phrase 'picture - perfect couple' a reality; so I drew him hugging you like that."  
  
"Oh...."  
  
"Do you like him?"  
  
Hakkai's shoulders shook as he laughed and he murmured, "You want the truth?"  
  
"Yeah."   
"I do."  
  
The girl's eyes widened. "Wow! You mean I really was right?"  
  
Hakkai was taken aback, "Is it really that obvious?"  
  
"Well, maybe not to other people 'cause, y'know... they didn't follow you around to get a picture but it kinda was to me. But that's only because I kept watching you two and you know... when you are around that blond guy and that kid, you speak different. You talk like you're uhm... 'Gojyo'? Is that his name?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You talk to him like you have strong feelings about him."  
  
"I suppose I do...."  
  
"You remember that I said that you reminded me of colours?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, when you are around Gojyo, your colours are so happy and bright. Then when you get around that blond guy and the younger guy, your colours remind me of a cover - up, sort of."  
  
"Is that so?"   
"Yeah."  
  
Hakkai flipped the page and found yet another sketch of him and Gojyo, this time, at a fruit rack and Hakkai was holding up a peach to Gojyo, who was pointing to it and saying something. In the sketch, one of Hakkai's arms were bent at the elbow and carrying a small fruit bag, meaning that his hand was free. But in the picture, Gojyo had Hakkai's hand in his and it looked as if his thumb was stroking the back of his hand.   
  
"You really are very good."  
  
"Thanks," she said and smiled. "Lemme guess, he wasn't really holding your hand?"  
  
"Right. But it's your book."  
  
He turned the page. On the next was a page of a very handsome man writing something down on a piece of business paper, and glasses mounted on the bridge of his nose.  
  
"Who's this?"  
  
"That's my dad."  
  
"He's very handsome."  
  
"Thanks."   
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah. It's just that... he died a few years ago."  
  
"He's a youkai, isn't he?" Hakkai asked, referring to the fact that the man had pointed ears.  
  
"Yeah. He was in this palace one night doing work and then, someone told me that he heard screams and then that was it. Someone killed him just like that."  
  
"What?"  
  
"'He had a blade mark across his neck,' they said. Well, I'm sure it was just a mistake. He would never attack anyone. But still, I'm pretty upset about that."  
  
"I.... I'm so sorry."  
  
"You don't have to apologize."  
  
"Yes I do. I'm sure that it was an accident."  
  
"Uhm...," the girl pointed to Hakkai's ear and for the first time, the brunette caught sight of her eyes: they were red just like Gojyo's. "Hey, you're a youkai, too." She poked at one of the cuffs hooked onto Hakkai's ear.  
"Yeah."  
  
"Hey, you wanna see my best sketch?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
"Okay. This is the one that I really hope to paint when I get enough money. Here," she motioned toward the sketchbook in the green - eyed man's hands, "in the very back I hid this picture of you and Gojyo. I figured that I was able to draw you guys well enough so I drew this sketch in the very back so no one could find it."   
  
Hakkai flipped to the back of the book but paused before looking at it, due to the look on the girl's face. "What is your name?"  
  
"My name? It's Shitagaki! People just call me Shi for short."  
  
"'Shi.'"  
  
"Yep."  
  
Hakkai then looked to the picture in the back of the book: it was a sketch of him and Gojyo once again, sitting on the sidewalk of the marketplace at night, no people, and only the moonlight, according to the shadowing, and their arms around each other, lips locked, Gojyo pulling Hakkai to him so close, it was almost as if they really were one. Hakkai's hands were holding tightly to Gojyo's vest and slipping it slowly off of his shoulders and he was sitting atop Gojyo's lap.  
  
"Is it too involved?" the girl asked.  
  
"No, not at all," Hakkai said, smiling. "I love it." A thumping noise was heard from upstairs suddenly. Then something that sounded like a reluctant groaning noise. "Oh, my...."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I think Gojyo just woke up."  
  
"Ahaha! Hey, I should probably go," the girl motioned down one of the dirt streets. "I live between the bakery and post office. You can find me there at night. See you later!" She got up and waved before turning to run off but stopped abruptly. "Hey! What's your name?"  
  
"Mine? It's Hakkai. Cho Hakkai." The brunette beamed and waved as Shi ran off down the street, kicking up dust as she sprinted. "Shi, huh?"  
  
"Hakkai?" Gojyo groaned from behind the brunette. "What're you doing down here?"  
  
"What made you wake so early, Gojyo? The sun is not even up yet!"  
  
"Can we go upstairs and do what he did yesterday morning?"  
  
"You mean," Hakkai tilted his head slightly, "just kissing and... nibbling at my fingertips?" He laughed slightly.   
  
"Yeah," Gojyo smiled groggily, seeing as he was almost to the point of sleep. "C'mon, babe. Let's just go up there and snuggle or something." [3]  
  
"Sure, sure."  
"Gojyo, do you think this is wrong?" Hakkai inquired to the other man as Gojyo continued to nuzzle Hakkai's neck affectionately. Gojyo had figured out that Hakkai was not ready to take their realtionship to certain levels; the red - haired man kept his will - power handy and simply kissed the brunette's neck without using his tongue in any way or sucking on the flawless skin.  
  
Gojyo: "No.... Not at all."  
  
*End Chapter #5*  
  
Author Notes:  
  
[1] Yes, we all remember in episode #3 when Goku had to carry the heavy bag and he was like, "998... 999... 1000! Alright! I'm done!" And then they all do Jan - Ken - Pon and Gojyo, Hakkai, and Sanzo put out rock... Goku puts out scissors. Gojyo: "Amazing. He hasn't figured it out yet." ; Hakkai: "It's very obvious. He always puts out scissors first." That may not have killed you as much as it did me because I thought it was hilarious.  
[2] As I was writing the first few chapters and watching the episodes, I noticed that they were, for the most part, always travelling over a barren landscape. Luckily for me, we had to do an Atlas Project in Social Studies so that gave me a reason to flip through the book to China's vegetation. News to me: almost all of the western land of the country of China is barren/no vegetaion! Eastern China... yes, we all know about the overpopulation.  
[3] For some reason, I just love using the word "snuggle" but not too much or it gets too happy for me. I think it's very cute and you know, Gojyo and Hakkai just sitting there, like cheek to cheek and all of that adorable shounen ai goodness.  
  
Whew! Yay! Chapter #5 is done! Look forward to Chapter #6 coming up soon... hopefully. (I don't blame you if you are still angry about me delaying the updates. *sweatdrops bigtime*) Oh, and by the way, the word "shitfire" belongs to my mother. Ha ha.  
  
Bye, then!  
  
- ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤ 


	6. Memory

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 6/?  
  
Rating: R for later chapters; PG - 13 for now.  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, etc. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi (for you people who don't speak Japanese, that's male/male relationships.... isn't it cute? *smiles*)  
  
Further Apology: I am still very, very, very sorry for delaying the chapters! *bows repeatedly* I've been making corrections, proofreading like mad, and I had to take the Gateway to get into eighth grade! I'm sorry!   
  
NEWS: Some of you out there are going to be very excited! The first DVD of Gensomaden Saiyuki, as of April 29, 2003 is now on sale at your local Mediaplay, Suncoast, Best Buy, etc. I heard it from B - chan on the radio and there is no telling as to how many episodes there are but I will buy it and give you a little info in the notes in chapter #7.   
  
BE ADVISED: Hello, hello. There are a few things that I would like to point out: As if you had not already noticed, this fanfic is going to take a few turns in the storyline until I get my hands on episodes #23 - #26. SPOILERS AHEAD: Gojyo and Hakkai's relationship is going to move a little quicker than expected. As people might have already known, Hakkai is a very modest person but he is not a virgin. (I feel bad speaking of him in that way.) Yes, he made love to Kanan. (Aw! *smiles*) It isn't said in the anime, that I have heard, but it is in the manga and I guess I am... doing a mix of stuff from the anime and stuff from the manga...? And of course, we all know that Gojyo left his virginity in the dust years ago. Yeah.... Okay, then. Here we go!  
  
Oh, and PLEASE review.  
__________________  
  
Part Sixth (6/?)  
  
"Ne, Hakkai," Goku began one late, cloudy evening as the clouds settled into overcast. "How much did we get through today?"  
  
"Oh, I'd say, as a total of today," Hakkai took a moment to think about it. "Maybe about thiry - five miles?"  
  
"Ah! Then can we stop for some food now?"  
  
"Shut up!" Sanzo screeched as his paper fan smacked against Goku's head with a loud cracking noise. "I swear, everytime I hear that 'I'm hungry' shit, I'll hit you until you bruise!"   
"Nah! Sanzo! Stop it!" Goku hollered.  
  
"Maybe we should stop at the next town early for shelter and supply shopping." Hakkai looked to the sky for a moment. "It's only about two in the afternoon but the weather is looking pretty bad. I'm amazed that it's raining in such a dry place as this!"  
  
Gojyo commented, "Yeah, and it looks serious, too."  
  
"Alright, then, everyone!" Hakkai chimed. "We'll stop at the next town until the storm clears up."  
  
The scarlet - eyed man was still amazed at how Hakkai could hide what he did and make it look so easy. Of course, it wasn't easy for Hakkai, but then again, Gojyo was really the only one that knew Hakkai as well as he did. Living with the guy for three years had to have given him some information on him. And about the rain, how cheery he could be and wear that same, fake smile even when it was about to rain. How did he do it?  
  
"Hakkai!" Goku yelped as Sanzo layed one more blow to the teenager's cranium.   
  
"Okay, Sanzo," Hakkai laughed. "Perhaps you should stop or Goku could get used to it. Would it be any fun to hit him if he liked it, Sanzo?"  
  
"Tch." The monk put on his usual "give - me - one - look - and - I'll - slap - you - to - Pluto - and - back - again" look and deposited the fan into his sleeve, returning to his previous seat in the passenger's side.   
  
The sudden thought graced Gojyo's mind that maybe he should suggest sitting in the passenger seat once. But not now. Right now, Sanzo didn't even want to be looked at, yet alone have a request asked of him.   
  
Gojyo: 'Today's gonna be a long day.'  
It was near three o'clock in the morning when Hakkai woke abruptly with a startled scream, sitting straight up in bed, sweating like mad and his eyes widened. His hand ran its way through his thick brown hair as he slowly lay back down and tried to calm himself down as he felt the cool night air settle over his heated skin. He pushed the covers back almost frustratedly in an attempt to rid himself of the terrible heat that had collected about his body and caused him the discomfort. Trembling lips were parted in heavy breathing as fear took over his mentality and kept him awake, afraid that if he were to fall back to sleep, another nightmare would be there to beat his dream to a bloody pulp like mere moments before.   
  
Gojyo's eyes fluttered open, seeing as he had awoken but waited to see what Hakkai was up to before slowly letting his eyelides drag open lazily.   
  
Hakkai looked extremely upset and frightened, which both expressions on his face were clearly visible when a flash of lightning pierced the sky into two and illuminated both men and various items in the room with a metallic white gleam. The thunder that sounded identical to the tempany rolled over the horizon and seemed to stop, banging harshly on the windows of the hotel room, causing them to rattle and creak unsturdily.   
  
The brunette buried his face in his hands and tried to calm himself down. His breathing was broken and hurried and his hands trembled with a hint of uncertainty as he slowly let his fingers run through his hair a few more times before finally turning to the other man in the bed across from his. "Gojyo?" Hakkai muttered, seeing as he was able to see the glint of red from the half - breed's eyes when the lightning flashed once more. A clap of thunder shook the building once more and Gojyo murmured back to the other man,  
  
"What happened? You seem upset, Hakkai."  
  
"It was just a nightmare," Hakkai concluded abruptly, folding his hands over his lap and staring at them for a few minutes before repeating his sentence. "That's all."  
  
Gojyo: "I've had plenty of people say to me that they've had dreams that become reality."  
  
"You mean a premoniton?"  
  
"I guess, if that's what you wanna call it."  
  
Both windows on the wall were open, both the brunette and the red - haired man forgetting that they opened them, and the rain pattered against the glass at the top of the window listlessly as a roar pierced through the heavens and startled Gojyo so terribly that he fell from his bedside, taking the covers with him as he tumbled down over the wooden floor with a cry of surprise and Hakkai only stared.   
  
The room became absolutely freezing with all of the wind blowing, carrying the rain and the stench of it into where the two youkai were. Hakkai took a deep breath and looked as if he might do something dispicable, something senseless and completely futile. He bit his bottom lip... and all he did was sigh. His hands clenched the blanket as they formed fists, gripping it and seeming as if they may tear it apart at any moment and the brunette stared into nothing. His eyes were fixed in one spot but Gojyo could not pinpoint it for certain; there was nothing of any interest whatsoever where the older of the men layed his eyes, somewhere in a bare corner of the room with not a piece of furniture, not even a cobweb in sight. He seemed hypnotized. He was not moving and did not look like he was planning on moving, making any gesture, as his wrists became numb and the blue vein on the inside of them becoming visible now more than ever. What was he thinking about? And, yet, how beautiful he looked! The half - breed examined every one of his facial features twice over; thrice before coming to the conclusion that his love was thinking of her again. He always did that when it rained. Those two beautiful green eyes were filled with some undescribable contemplating passion and his lips were sealed shut; he would not even open them to breath if he needed and his jaw was set in a nervous manner, unmoving and stealth. Even his breathing went unnoticed as it was so slow. He did not even blink when another lightning bolt (which must have hit dangerously close to their location) cried silently through the sky and not even a moment later, emitted a screaming howl which must have lasted for fifteen seconds. Still, Hakkai did not move.   
  
"You're thinking about her again... aren't you?" Gojyo let somewhat of a smile creep silently onto his face in the dark as Hakkai finally moved to answer truthfully,  
  
"You know that I can never forget her."  
  
"Yes, I know. I understand. Remember that I have someone that I can never forget also," Gojyo stated as more lighting lit up the room as if it were day time all over again. "But...."  
  
"'But'?"  
  
"Because I had someone in the past, that does not mean that I cannot have someone in the present. You remember how I said that I thought your sister would want you happy? Well, I can't say that for what happened to me. I really wish I could but I know the truth and the truth is that that woman would not want me happy. Hell no."  
  
"Well, Gojyo," Hakkai said, "we should both live for the one we love."  
  
"I love you." "And I love you."  
A million stars light   
This beautiful night  
This is not a night to die  
Let me sing and dance   
Beneath the sky  
I have such love to give  
To give! I want a chance to live  
  
Live  
For the one I love  
Love   
As no one has loved  
Give  
Asking nothing in return  
  
Free  
Free to find my way  
Free to have my say  
Free to see the day  
  
Be   
Like I used to be  
Like a wild bird free  
With all of life in me  
  
Live   
For the one I love  
Love  
As no one has loved  
Give  
Asking nothing in return  
  
Though this world tears us apart  
We're still together in my heart  
I want the world to hear my cry  
And even if I have to die  
Love will not die  
Love will change the world  
  
Live  
For the one I love  
Love   
As no one has loved  
Give  
Asking nothing in return  
  
I'll love until love wears me away  
I'll die and I know my love will stay  
And I know my love will stay  
  
"LIVE FOR THE ONE I LOVE"  
-Celine Dion  
Trimmed were the hedges of doubt and gone was all modesty that held the half - breed back as he threw himself upward and wrapped his arms around the other man tightly, tenderly.  
  
"Gojyo?"  
  
"I'm sorry," Gojyo murmured. "I'm so, so sorry."  
  
"What? But why?"  
  
"For what happened back then and what is happening now," Gojyo explained. "I know that accepting the fact that we're in love has not been the easiest task for either of us but it is the truth, isn't it? I love you with all of my heart and you me, right? Then why am I feeling this guilt build up in me like it will break out and leave me to die carelessly? And the worst part is that I feel that you have that passion deep inside of you, too! But why is it there!? I don't understand!" Gojyo exclaimed and threw his hands over his face, burying his face in them and taking them in use of shelter to hide his tears. "But I know that this is true! It's so true, damn it! I love you! I love you, Hakkai!"  
  
Hakkai's face altered to shock as his memories of that nonchalant and uncaring attitude were wiped clean from his mind and the tray in which they were set on was now overflowing with Gojyo's current passion overtaking him and causing him to cry into Hakkai's chest, his hands over his face. The brunette's arms wrapped themselves around the other's bare back and pulled Gojyo to him, turning his head and setting a cheek in the soft strands of long scarlet hair. "I love you, Gojyo. I swear that I do," Hakkai stated seriously. "And I'll be damned if anyone tells me otherwise. I will be damned over again."  
  
This time, Hakkai took the roll of consoling his lover, lifting his head and kissing Gojyo's tears from his cheeks as the scarlet - eyed man let the liquid flow freely from his eyes.  
  
More lighting and thunder threatened to interupt the couple drowning in their feelings, but neither of them payed any attention to the clashing rage that took place outside.   
  
And it was then that Gojyo truly knew that he was in love with Hakkai. He recalled asking him before if this was what it truly felt like to be in love but that was only because the one woman that he had actually fallen in love with hated him, tried to kill him. God, the devastation, the torment, the torture.  
  
And Hakkai had lost the only one he loved due to a desgusting demon who stole his lover away and impregnated her, causing her to commit an unspeakable act... with his own dagger. She took his own dagger and did it. It seemed then that the world had ended, nothing was worth anything anymore.  
  
And everyone seemed to hate them for it.  
  
And everyone seemed to want them to relive the end of their tragities.  
  
And everyone seemed to be in disbelief when they survived.  
  
Devastation, torment, and torture.  
  
Nothing was worth it anymore.  
  
They both met at the lips.  
  
*End chapter #6*  
  
To be continued...  
  
Author Notes:  
  
None! Whoo hah! Damn it all, that was a short chapter but there are many, many more to come. I thought that that would be an appropriate time to leave a little cliffhanger. Hm... Now, that makes chapters three, four, five, and six all added up TOGETHER! Booya! I hope this is enough to say that I am sorry for delaying the updates on mediaminer.org. Actually, that is only because I cannot/could not get on the site. So, www.fanfiction.net is getting all six chapters at once! My friends loved this fic and let me say that this whole story is for Faye, Kira, and Minion, the people who have stuck by me when writing this. Damn, I make it sound like I'm at the end of the fic. Don't worry. I'm nowhere near the end yet. *smiles*  
  
I can't say that I feed off of reviews because I would probably starve to death. Ha ha.   
  
Look forward to chapter #7!  
  
- ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤ 


	7. Pain

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 7/?  
  
Rating: R for later chapters; PG - 13 for now.  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, etc. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi (for you people who don't speak Japanese, that's male/male relationships.... isn't it cute? *smiles*)  
  
HEAR ME OUT: AH! I bought the first DVD of Gensomaden Saiyuki the day after it came out in stores and I was all excited and junk so I bring it home and start to watch it the next day ('cause, you know, I have school) and there was the little language option.... They made the Saiyuki anime english. They translated it into english and the english voice actors suck! Big time and all my friends agree with me! And they all sound like the same guy! My God! They also made Hakkai MEAN! They made him so mean! In the Japanese version, he is so sweet to everyone (especially Gojyo) but then in the English version, they made him rude and mean! And the english Hakkai can't even say Hakuryu right! GOD! But, if you buy the special package, you get a Saiyuki T - shirt and a fold - out poster! None of the anime is different from the Japanese version, from what I have noticed so far, video - wise I mean. I have not gotten a chance to watch episodes #4 and #5 yet, since my brother and I have been engrossed in Rayman 3 and our PS2 is our only DVD player. There are 5 episodes on the DVD for you people who care.  
  
Oh, and if you have not already concluded, we are still in the middle of the oh, too long, way too long, flashback. Yeah, I forgot to put that in the notes in the other chapters but oh, well. Hopefully, you guys think you're smart. *conks self on head repeatedly*  
  
Whoo hoo, alright, review, please. This is my first Saiyuki fic and I wanna see what it's like to have more than one reviewer. Ha ha.  
  
_______________  
  
Part Seventh (7/?)  
  
They both met at the lips.  
  
Hakkai's eyes slid shut and he seemed to be surrounded by Gojyo's presence from all sides as he felt Gojyo's lips open slowly. The brunette's hand cupped Gojyo's cheek suddenly when he felt the half - breed's tongue slip through his lips and beg for entrance to the other youkai. Hakkai's eyes became warm, but not with tears, he could not explain. He gave himself up; he opened his lips ever so slowly as Gojyo pressed his tongue inside and his grip around the green - eyed man's waist tightened, probably from surprise of acceptance. Gojyo transferred his message clearly as he gently coaxed Hakkai's tongue to engage in the erotic dance with his and the red - haired man slowly pushed the other man over onto the bed, strattling one of his thighs and one of his hands travelling up to the brunette's forehead and brushing back all of the hair that fell into the older man's face.   
  
But it was at the point that Gojyo's other hand travelled up the inside of Hakkai's shirt that the human - turned - youkai broke the passionate kiss and pulled away. The scarlet - eyed being stared at him in amazement, a look of love and want glimmering in his eyes; something that Hakkai hadn't seen before but it was not completely unappealing.   
  
"I... I'm sorry, Hakkai," Gojyo's words fell mechanically from his moist lips hastely as he reached up with one hand to stroke Hakkai's cheek gently, reassuringly, expecting him to slap it away, but he accepted the caress and leaned into it, taking comfort in it.   
  
Hakkai had pulled away from the other man so far that he was sitting upright against the wall, seeing as the edge of the bed was up against the barrier and Gojyo was leaning over him, not minding that his ass was in the air and that he was feeling uncomfotable himself.   
  
But the younger youkai needed something to cheer his lover up with so he reached out with one hand and wiped a small trail of saliva from the brunette's bottom lip and held his hand out in from him. "Well, would you look at that," Gojyo scoffed. "Looks like my spit, huh?"  
  
Hakkai laughed lightly and brought Gojyo's hand to his cheek once more, placing both hands over his and gazing up at him, possessing the same look that he did before they shared the loving kiss that they had just moments ago and he hoped for all the world that they could do it again. And Gojyo read the brunette's mind and leant down slowly and tilted his head to the side, Hakkai doing the same and they shared another passionate kiss, Hakkai falling over onto the bed once more, and on purpose, and Gojyo leaning over even more. Hakkai's hands were fastened to the back of Gojyo's head, holding him there and Gojyo's hands were both placed tightly over Hakkai's shoulders.   
  
And the rain continued to pound outside, finally reaching into the room through the open window, but neither of the men inside of the room cared as their tongues twisted in loving movements and their heads moved in all angles, Gojyo even giving a wanting groan deep from within his throat.   
  
They both had long since figured out that taking in deep breathes through their noses could grant them an eternity trapped within the kiss that they shared. That was what they wanted. Hakkai suddenly found himself wondering what it would be like if they were not on the journey to the west; what it would be like to spend his entire life with Gojyo. And he did wonder, 'What would it be like to live with him?' His mind raced about the options that Gojyo and he could do. What would it be like to live with him, love him, touch him, sleep with him, be alone with him for an eternity? These thoughts carved guilt into Hakkai's heart as he felt the hotness return to his face as tears built up far behind closed lids and he forced them to stay back. He felt that Gojyo was feeling the same as he. He wished he could read Gojyo's mind sometimes. Sometimes, he wanted to know exactly what he was thinking. He could have a whole different perspective of the world just from Gojyo. The brunette felt that his love still had things that he had not told him but then again, there were things that Hakkai had not told to Gojyo yet. But he still got to wonder. He inhaled again as his mind continued to race; inhaled through his nose, of course. He would give almost anything to keep that kiss going and if that meant no oxygen for five minutes, he would do it. Of course, he could gasp for air suddenly when Gojyo opened his mouth to let more of his tongue slip into Hakkai's mouth, but he wanted to savour every part of the moment that he could. How he loved the feeling of Gojyo's lips against his own, Gojyo's tongue running over the roof of his mouth as Hakkai wrapped his arms around Gojyo's neck. Hakkai felt his head swoon back as Gojyo ran his tongue along Hakkai's teeth and when it touched Hakkai's skin just around his mouth, Gojyo could feel the warmth, the sweat gathered upon the green - eyed man's flesh. He shivered. God, this had to be the most intense feeling he had ever experienced. Hakkai thought so, too, but part of him still ached for Kanan. He still loved her so much. He still remembered her beautiful face and lovely voice. He could still remember holding her and making sweet love to her and part of him wished for knowledge on her feelings. Suddenly, Hakkai felt frightened and furious for losing her and he pulled Gojyo to him completely, delving his tongue into Gojyo's mouth sensually and waiting for a reaction from the immensely shocked half - breed. Dear God, Gojyo was such a drug. How could anybody ever, ever resist him!? And Hakkai thought that anybody that had ever slept with Gojyo might have thought so, too. Gojyo was so... adictive; but in a good way, of course. It was not just his kiss or his looks or his attitude. It was all of those things. He could make any woman melt in her shoes right on the spot. But Hakkai was no woman. 'He could make me do anything,' Hakkai thought. 'All he would have to do is look at me.'   
  
Gojyo pushed themselves apart reluctantly, slowly.   
  
"G - Gojyo?"  
  
"Hakkai, oh my God...," Gojyo whispered, astonished.   
  
"What is it?"   
  
"I got such a rush when you put your tongue in my mouth like that! Dear God!" Gojyo gasped.   
  
"O - oh...."  
  
"Hakkai, there is one thing that I want to do. It is not what you think it is but please allow me to do it."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Give me your hand. I will not hurt you."  
  
"I know."  
  
Hakkai reached up and placed one hand in Gojyo's and the red - haired man kept his gaze locked on the brunette beneath him as he slowly took one fingertip into his mouth, placing his tongue at the nail and lapping at it before taking Hakkai's entire finger in his mouth. The brunette's eyes widened, but he let Gojyo continue on like he had requested. Hakkai's other hand was kept over his mouth, part in shock, and part to hide some of the fact that... he quite enjoyed it. Gojyo took another one of Hakkai's fingers into his mouth and twirled his tongue around them before taking one more finger into his inferno of a mouth and Hakkai's head swooned backward once more and he tried his hardest to stifle a moan but it eagerly escaped his lips and he groaned Gojyo's name. Gojyo was, indeed, surprised by this but he kept sucking on Hakkai's fingers until Hakkai had his mouth open, looking as if another moan would escape and his eyebrows were arched, his eyes closed. Good God, he looked immortal. Of course, Hakkai knew what it meant when Gojyo sucked on his fingers like that. He knew that he wanted to.... But Hakkai was not ready to take his relationship to that kind of a level with Gojyo. Not yet. Gojyo removed Hakkai's fingers from his mouth and then blew cold air over them lightly. 'Oh, my God!' Hakkai thought. 'He isn't!' Gojyo kissed the two fingers on each knuckle before he looked to Hakkai, who was now breathing harder than before, raptured in the moment, caught in the passion that dangled in the air between him and the other man. Hakkai groaned as Gojyo repeated the procedue on two more of his fingers before he finally came to his thumb.   
  
"Oh, Gojyo!" Hakkai gasped, entirely breathless.   
  
But all Gojyo did was lay one long, wet, sensual lick to Hakkai's thumb before he lowered the brunette's hand and looking into Hakkai's emerald eyes.   
  
"How was that?" Gojyo asked with a smile.   
  
"Oh, I loved it," Hakkai replied, recieving a slightly surprised look from the other.   
  
It was still unbelievable - how much they loved each other. They discovered it right then and there. Hakkai remembered when he realized that he had fallen head over heels in love with Gojyo and once the thought crossed his mind for the first time, he was crushed, because Gojyo was such a player. It seemed that if one person was homosexual, there was a slim chance that the object of their affection would not feel the same. But to know that Gojyo actually loved him back! Oh, the relief, the absolute relief! They loved each other. The thought that they were gay did no even cross their minds.  
  
It was after a few more passionate kisses that Gojyo finally felt his eyes become heavy with sleep and his lips slowly drifted shut, but not before mumbling, "Hakkai, I love you...."  
  
"Gojyo, I love you, too." Hakkai smiled sleepily but decided to stay awake. He watched Gojyo while he was asleep and examined every one of his facial features, seeking to find the thing that made him so damn gorgeous. His eyes were shut lightly, the lids meeting and joining his eyelashes, long, ebony, and obviously soft, since Hakkai giggled whenever they brushed his skin. His lips were parted for easier breathing during slumber and Hakkai noticed that they were slightly swollen, probably because of all of the kisses that they had shared just minutes ago and Hakkai would bet anything that his lips were swollen, too. His smiled and put one finger to Gojyo's bottom lip. Gojyo smiled in his sleep from Hakkai's touch. His head moved slightly and that caused a few scarlet tresses of his hair to tumble freely into his face.   
  
All Hakkai did was stay awake... and watched his lover breath.  
  
The one thing that made Gojyo gorgeous? One thing? There wasn't one. It was everything.  
  
What's the world coming to?  
  
Where are we all running to?  
  
Now all our dreams are coming true  
  
We can't let them break us  
  
Two hearts that beat as one  
  
And let the clouds cover the sun  
  
If I'm rambling, I'm guilty Of wearing my heart on my sleeve  
  
When it hurts  
  
When it burns  
  
The feeling inside me  
  
Is feeling like I do  
  
Take a breath  
  
Let it out  
  
Just close your eyes  
  
Don't hold me inside you  
  
Baby, you look down tonight  
  
There's something wrong and that ain't right  
  
I hear you talking in your sleep  
  
I wanna dive in your dreams  
  
And wrap my loving arms around you  
  
Save you when the waves press down on you  
  
When you're lost and you're scared  
  
I'll be the air  
  
When it hurts  
  
When it burns  
  
The feeling inside me   
  
Is feeling like I do  
  
Take a breath  
  
Let it out  
  
Just close your eyes  
  
Don't hold me inside you  
  
Breathe  
  
When you give and you take  
  
And it feels like something breaks  
  
It's a warm feeling  
  
When it hurts  
  
When you doubt  
  
When it burns  
  
Let it out  
  
When you give  
  
When you love  
  
When you live  
  
When you touch  
  
If all that we've got is each other  
  
Then all that we've got is a lot  
  
When it hurts  
  
When it burns  
  
The feeling inside me  
  
Is feeling like I do  
  
Take a breath  
  
Let it out  
  
Just close your eyes   
  
Don't hold me inside you  
  
Breathe  
  
Just breathe  
  
Breathe  
  
Just breathe  
  
"BREATHE"  
  
-Bon Jovi  
  
~Day 3 Travel: Feeling~  
  
It was mid - morning at the breakfast table when Sanzo asked, "So, who's doing the food shopping? Hakkai?" Gojyo, Sanzo, and Goku all looked to Hakkai. "We need to get going real quick, so I guess you're going."  
  
"Yes, alright, then," Hakkai stood and took the shopping list from Sanzo before Goku exclaimed, "Hakkai! I wanna go, too!"  
  
"Okay, okay. Let's go, then."  
  
When both Hakkai and Goku were out the door, Sanzo folded his glasses with a clicking noise and lay them on the table, his newspaper followed and was placed on the table as well. "So," Sanzo began,"have fun?"  
  
"Wha'd'ya mean?" Gojyo asked, confused, but then it hit him like a hurricane but he pretended not to notice.  
  
"You have fun last night?" Sanzo smirked. He seemed to be enjoying the scenario immensly.   
  
"I really don't know what you mean," Gojyo shook his head in mock - confusion.  
  
"Oh, cut the shit, Gojyo. Did you have sex with him or not!?"  
  
"Since when is my personal life your business!?"   
  
"Since now, when I have to think about adding aspirin to the list to get through the night with you two in the room next to mine! Don't think I didn't hear you!"  
  
"Holy SHIT!" Gojyo's hands clasped over his mouth, his breathing hurried abruptly.   
  
"Ha! I knew it!" Sanzo declared. "You and Hakkai! Together! Who would have thought?" Sanzo exclaimed in mock - interest as he shrugged and let out a rather dark snicker.   
  
Gojyo gave him "the finger" before he left to his room.   
  
"Tch," Sanzo smirked and returned to yesterday's paper. "I knew it."  
  
Gojyo arrived in his room in anger, stomping over the floor with no fear of what the people rooming on the first floor beneath him would say. (Pound the old termite - infested broom - handle on the ceiling?) Right now, "other people" was the last thing on Gojyo's mind as he lay down on his own bed in front of the open window. The half - breed could not help himself as he grabbed one of the pillows and buried his face in it, screaming a very, very BAD curse at Sanzo. Something with the "f" word. Aheheh.  
  
Well, that seemed like all that Gojyo really had to do to get his little fit of anger out and he retrieved a small book with a dull azure cover. It seemed like a complete attitude change, but the half - breed seized up a small pencil from a pocket in his pair of pants that were currently at the end of the bed (he was wearing loose jogging pants) and opened the book to a new page.   
  
"Oh, those look really good!"   
  
"Alright, then."  
  
"And these?" "I don't see why not."  
  
"Oh! What about that?"  
  
"Now, Goku, let's not go overboard. Remember that Sanzo will throw a fit and ring your neck if we spend too much."  
  
"How come he never hits you, Hakkai?"  
  
"Well, I guess it's because I never really insult anyone the way that you and Gojyo fight with each other." The thought of being hit with Sanzo's fan crossed Hakkai's mind and he twitched when he remembered the unique sound it made when it came in contact with someone's cranium.   
  
"Nah, Hakkai?"   
  
"Yes?" "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Promise you won't get mad or anything 'cause Gojyo gets real upset."  
  
"I promise." Hakkai had a feeling he already had a guess as to what the question was and his grip on one of the shopping bags tightened as he remembered what Sanzo had talked to him about - the conversation where he had stated that he was heterosexual three times... and he had lied, too.  
  
"Okay, then. Tell the truth. Do you really, really like Gojyo?"  
  
"I knew it," Hakkai murmured.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing," Hakkai waved it off nervously. "Well, he is a very good companion. We are very good friends, so, yes, I like him." Hakkai smiled.  
  
"No, I mean like, you really like him like you wanna kiss him and stuff like that."  
  
"K - kiss him?" Hakkai stammered. "U - um...."  
  
"Does that mean you do?"  
  
"No!"   
  
"Ah! Sanzo was right!"   
  
"Sanzo talked to you about this!?" Hakkai blushed immensely at the thought of his and Goku's conversation being overheard. There were a few other pedestrians passing them by and then the other thought occured to him: His and Gojyo's relationship had been a topic of conversation!   
  
"Look, Goku, just remember," Hakkai began, "not to talk to anybody else about Gojyo and I; not even Sanzo."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Hakkai sought to change the topic and he looked to the sky and noticed that the thick grey clouds had not separated to let the sun shine through for days now. He said, "My, my, the rain really just does not stop around here, does it?"  
  
Both of them walked over to a small stand set up in front of a convenience store that bore all different kinds of fruit and such. "Do we really need anything here?" Hakkai asked, one finger to his chin.  
  
"Uh... bananas!"  
  
The brunette chuckled, the bananas were bought and he handed them to the eager little teenager.   
  
Suddenly, Hakkai felt a chill set over him and he shivered slightly, even though that was the least that he felt he could do in public. He felt as if he could collapse but something separate from him stopped him. His throat went dry and he blinked several times but nothing could stop this feeling of dizziness. His breath seemed caught in his throat.  
  
"Hakkai?"  
  
He shook himself out of it, "Uh.... Yes, Goku?"  
  
"It really does look like it's gonna pour so I'm gonna go back to the hotel and wait with Sanzo so I don't get wet."  
  
"Alright, then," Hakkai beamed. "I'll finish the food shopping quickly and hurry back. Tell Sanzo that we can leave tomorrow morning."  
  
"Okay!"  
  
The younger of the group was gone around the corner and Hakkai could feel a pressure build up in his chest, telling him to turn around, beckoning him to switch perspectives. Slowly, one foot was placed in front of the other and the brunette looked over his shoulder to find... well, who else could it be?  
  
"Hey," the half - breed greeted. "It's gonna storm so I came out here to get you. You almost finished?"  
  
"Oh...." Hakkai paused. The sudden memory of what had happened the previous night came flooding back to him and he could have sworn that he felt Gojyo's hot lips on his fingertips at that very moment. But the red - haired man broke through, inquiring the other youkai's name and all Hakkai said was, "I'm not quite finished yet." But Gojyo saw the look in the other man's eyes and he could tell that, even though the rain had not fallen yet, he was thinking about her again. Gojyo could not blame him. After all, when you go through that much for one person and it seems all in vain, how could anyone forget?   
  
Nothing seemed to matter anymore.  
  
Time seemed to stand still as Gojyo advanced toward Hakkai and threw his arms out and wrapped the other man in a tender embrace, his head on Hakkai's shoulder. The brunette's shopping bag with the various fruits in it was slid to the juncture between his upper arm and lower arm and he put his arms over Gojyo's shoulder blades, listening to him speak in whispers, "It's okay, baby. It's alright. Don't be ashamed of what you are or what you were." Hakkai smiled. "I know you truly did love her, no matter what anybody says."   
  
"Gojyo," Hakkai's tone mutated suddenly. "If I loved her so much, why was I not able to save her? Why didn't I feel anything in her time of need?"  
  
"Are you saying that your love wasn't true?"  
  
"No! I love her with all of my heart but why wasn't I able to save her!?" But as soon as those words were uttered from Hakkai's flawless lips, Gojyo's mouth covered his in a chaste kiss that ended with Gojyo's rough tone,  
  
"I think only you know the answer."  
  
The other man was left speechless and he stared to the gambler in confusion, almost diebelief as Gojyo continued,  
  
"So.... Am I just a replacement?"  
  
"A what!?"  
  
"A replacement. You miss her so much. Am I your way of venting?"  
  
"Venting!? Of course not, Gojyo! I love you!"  
  
"Look, Hakkai, it sounded a lot like that. And you know what?"  
  
Hakkai's tone was choked, "W - what?"  
  
Gojyo pressed two fingers to Hakkai's lips and with his other hand, he placed one finger over each of Hakkai's eyes and he murmured, "I feel things in your kiss."  
  
And with that, Gojyo backed away and stood before the other man, almost demanding that he be inspected for flaws but Hakkai found none and Gojyo knew that he did not. Slow motion. Oh, slow motion. Slow motion as Gojyo walked beside Hakkai... and passed him. He passed him without even a good - bye and he walked briskly down the street to the hotel.   
  
Hakkai fell to his knees. Had Gojyo left him? No! No, that was not it! That was not an abandoned relationship! All of the kisses they shared, had they conveyed a message that Hakkai had never recieved? Did they truly love each other? Of course they did! If Hakkai did not love Gojyo, then why did he always look at him the way that he did, his gaze full of appreciation and longing? If Hakkai did not love Gojyo, why did he fall asleep tucked in the half - breed's arms, and dream of only him at night? And Gojyo! If Gojyo did not love Hakkai, then why did he always lay him down in bed and kiss him with all the passion that he did? If Gojyo did not love Hakkai, then why did he always throw glances at him when something about love or sex or beauty was uttered? Why did he room with him? Why did he sit with him?   
  
And why did they both feel extremely sick, as if they were going to vomit...  
  
... when they broke up?  
  
*End chapter #7*  
  
Author Notes:  
  
*Is currently banging self on the head with a frying pan* I (bang) am such (bang) a BITCH! (bang, bang, bang) I can't believe I just wrote that! My mind has been corrupted by the stories of my fellow seventh grade classmates and their tales of love and breaking it. Gah! *resumes hitting self*  
  
Chibodee: *gets a card handed to him* What? *read off of card* Oh, okay. Uh.... I guess all that I really have to say is that you can look forward to chapter #8. The break up won't last long. And... please review. *throws card* Alrighty then! See you in chapter #8! Hey... what do I have to do with this fanfic?  
  
Umi: I don't have anything to do with it either but do you really have to ask when the writter is hitting herself with an iron cooking pan?  
  
Ja! 


	8. Misunderstood

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 8/?  
  
Rating: R for later chapters; PG - 13 for now.  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, etc. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi (for you people who don't speak Japanese, that's male/male relationships.... isn't it cute? *smiles*)  
  
*We're still in the flashback. (God, how long WILL the flashback last!?)*  
  
~For you people out there who care, do not worry, for the "break up" will not last long.~  
  
Please review.  
  
__________________________  
  
Part Eighth (8/?)  
  
Hakkai's lips trembled as he murmured to himself, "Gojyo.... Gojyo, wait. No, it isn't like that." He turned on his heel but found that Gojyo was nowhere in sight and the feeling of lonliness set over him, spreading throughout his entire body like a virus and he felt cold and dizzy. His shopping bag was still in hand and he raced to the hotel, passing so many stands, having so many people stare after him in his frantic state to find out the truth, but he did not care. If the price of Gojyo's love was humiliation, then without a doubt, Hakkai wanted it. He would take anything that Gojyo would give him, no matter if it was involuntarily bad or the good that he loved to recieve and give back to that man.   
  
When he noticed that, in his current state of sprinting insanely, he did not pass Gojyo on the way to the hotel and, taking in the obvious fact that running as fact as you can was faster than walking, Hakkai realized that Gojyo had run back to the inn as well. If he were walking back, Hakkai would have seen him by now.   
  
The brunette flung open the door and found Sanzo still at the breakfast table and, never minding the fact that the fruits may be bruised, Hakkai ran past the table, dropping the shopping bag onto the wooden piece with several thunks of the containment inside the bantam parcel.   
  
Even though Sanzo averted his glance from the article in the old newspaper, he did not say anything to the healer that then climbed the single flight of stairs, for it seemed that he was, indeed, extremely upset and, seeing as barely anybody had ever seen him anything but happy, he kept quiet. Hakkai flung open the door to his and Gojyo's apartment room and he disappeared from Sanzo's sight.  
  
Gojyo wasn't there.  
  
Hakkai felt himself become even more dizzy, his vision becoming something of a two - year - old holding a video camera and he was sure that he would fall over so he went over to his bed and let himself tumble over the neatly made covers. He placed his monocle onto the tiny night - stand between his and Gojyo's beds and placed the palm of his hand over his forehead and hid his eyes as he could not prevent the shimmering tears that slid down his cheeks....  
  
He bit his bottom lip and inhaled a broke gasp and when he realized that he had almost reached the point of sobbing, he covered his mouth with his other hand and then both, so no one would hear. What if they did? What if they asked him why he was crying almost uncontrolably? What would he tell them? But his mind suddenly went blank when there came a voice from the corner of the room and it murmured,  
  
"God dammit, are you crying?" The tone was choked and Hakkai knew that it was him, crying just as he, in the corner of the room, behind the door. "Don't cry, Hakkai." Gojyo hushed and then stiffled a sob behind both of his hands. "You shouldn't cry, if this is what you want!" And he raced out of the room, hiding his face by purposely turning it to the side at an angle to avoid making eye contact with the other man and Hakkai was horrified. He suddenly didn't care what other people thought and, all over again, the world did not mean a thing. After Gojyo had gone, he slowly got up off of the bed and closed the door softly but did not take his hands away from the door - handle. Instead, he slid down onto his knees and pounded on the door with each sob that came, crying Gojyo's name and demanding why and that he was being misunderstood.   
  
Even though his crying had died slightly, tears continued to come later as Hakkai took out a sheet of paper and a pen, using the night - stand to bare down on as he wrote a letter, begging and pleading for Gojyo's forgiveness and he said all that he could fit on the sheet:  
  
"Gojyo,  
  
My beloved Gojyo, please forgive me for whatever I have done. I know that I may act in such a way as strange but you cannot demand that I forget her and I know that you have not, but please understand, please remember, back when I told you never to let someone tell you that you cannot love more than one person. It's so true, because I love you. I love you with all that I can and I hope that I do for however long we can stay the way that we were.   
  
Even though we have not been together for very long, I feel that every kiss that we share and every time we touch, it is so familiar, like we have done it before, long, long ago, but I cannot explain. That is why I am so devastated that we had such a huge misunderstanding. Please don't take things the wrong way.   
  
I know that my love for you is true. If I could reach the sky, I swear that I would take all of the stars from it and give them to you. I would walk around the world just for you. And I'm waiting just for you.   
  
I'm waiting just for you.  
  
I love you, Gojyo. And I swear that I always will....  
  
Love, always, and forever,  
  
-Hakkai"  
  
The letter was folded over once and placed underneath Gojyo's pillow in hopes that he would find it and read it and think of it while he slept. Hakkai wiped a tear from his eye and went back over to his bed and sat down and then lay on his side to sleep, even though it was very, very early in the evening, around seven thirty to be exact. The brunette put his fingers to his lips and suddenly found that Gojyo's lips to his was not as alien as he had imagined; in fact, the alien part was when they were not there. The brunette smiled to himself and hid his face in one of the pillows, Gojyo's name resounding countless times in his head and countless tears on the pillow shead.   
  
Gojyo, in the mean time, had been doing the exact same thing: He was writing his letter to his lover, begging for understanding in that he had made a horrifying mistake. The scarlet - eyed man still had tears come down his cheeks at times, but he continued on, even though he had to push the paper away sometimes to prevent the tears from falling over it.   
  
"Hakkai,  
  
Hakkai, let me start this note with reminding you of the fact that I love you so much, words aren't enough to say. And I swear that I could keep your lips on mine forever.   
  
I know that I made a harsh judgement and I may have criticized you and I am not demanding that you have to forget about her, after all, it was about to rain and I know how down you get when it gets all gloomy like that. But remember, that you can love more than one person. I hope that I am that other person. I hope that I always will be.   
  
And I hope that this letter found its way down to your heart, even though you stated it was small. Well, however small it is, I hope that I can hold a piece of it with me, even if it is the tiniest bit.   
  
I love you and I want to be with you. Let's end this little "break up" thing two seconds after it started, huh?  
  
I love you, Hakkai.  
  
To the end of the universe and back,  
  
-Gojyo"  
  
That was written at one of the dining room tables in the small inn downstairs, somewhere where he would not be bothered by anyone else - perfect. Gojyo smiled to himself anf read the letter over just to make sure everything sounded like he wanted it to and he folded the letter and placed it in his pocket. He needed something to get him out of his depressed state and he concluded that getting a little something to drink wouldn't hurt....  
  
Morning arrived non - too - gently as Sanzo knocked harshly over Hakkai and Gojyo's room to get the men in it to wake up. Hakkai answered with a polite "good morning" and told Sanzo he would be ready to leave for the next town in a few minutes; but when he turned over in his bed, which he had fallen asleep in after writing the letter, he felt that he would be ready to leave in a few hours: Gojyo was not in the bed across from his. Not even the covers were irregular. Everything was as he had left it last night. Nothing had changed and Hakkai feared that Gojyo may have spent the night somewhere else... With a woman? It seemed as if he would want to sleep with a woman after something like that had gone on but that was only because... Gojyo had stated that he had never been in love before and had it returned, right? He might have slept with a woman, but Hakkai could not be sure. Is that what a womanizer does after he "breaks up" with with the very first person he had a romantic relationship with?  
  
Hakkai got dressed from yesterday's clothing into a loose light green shirt and a pair of jeans and he exitted the room to come downstairs, finding Sanzo at the breakfast table with coffee cup in one hand and newspaper in the other, as usual, and Goku sitting next to him, probably finishing off the third course to breakfast. "Sanzo?" Hakkai asked. The monk shot his glance to the brunette. "Have you seen Gojyo? He was not in his bed when I woke up."  
  
"Nope," the blonde replied. "Haven't seen him."  
  
Hakkai was thunderstruck all of a sudden. Was this the way that he wanted it to be? Did Gojyo want it this way? Surely, he didn't. But would he just run off somewhere and not tell anyone where he was going? Not even his fellow companions? Hakkai lowered his head and forced the falsest smile to grace his lips, "I see."  
  
"We should find him before we leave, right?" Goku mumbled through a mouth full of food. "I mean, he wouldn't wanna stay here, would he?"  
  
"I really don't know what that man wants," Hakkai said. And with that, he went back upstairs; once he was gone from sight, and suposedly, hearing distance, Sanzo informed the younger one,  
  
"Shit, that didn't look good."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I mean, have you ever seen him so down?"  
  
"Uh - uh."  
  
"Maybe him and Gojyo got in a fight."  
  
Goku nodded somewhat and continued on into his meal and Sanzo turned the page to the old newspaper and sipped his coffee. A most disturbing article caught his eye and it read: "DEADLY". It was an old article about a sickness that was, obviously, still found today, but in the article, it told of a terrible disease sweeping through the land and wiping out anyone who seemed to come within any contact of the infected person. 'So, that's it,' Sanzo thought. 'Hakkai and Gojyo are playing the game of love. But I think Gojyo may have rolled higher than Hakkai.... Ha. It may not sound like me but I hope their game ends in a tie.'  
  
Sometime around three in the morning, when Sanzo found that he had just fallen alseep for the fourth time, seeing as he kept waking up because it was so damned hot, the continuous grounding of gravel and dirt began and continued on for a good five minutes before Sanzo finally got up out of his bed and looked out the window, feeling a sudden breeze flow over his skin - tight body suit [1].   
  
There as no one out there once the monk's glance was thrown out the window and the irritating grinding sound had stopped right when his hands landed on the windowsil. 'Maybe Hakkai found him?' Sanzo thought. Feeling that he would be able to continue the journey, even without them, Sanzo went back over to his bed and lay down upon the heated sheets that had collected his sweat. 'Damn, why the hell is it so damned hot?'  
  
"Sanzo?" Hakkai querried hours later as they were putting their few bags into the back of Jiipu.   
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Do you think...," the brunette began almost nervously. "Do you think Gojyo could sit in the passenger's seat?" He paused but added hastely, "Just for today?"  
  
Sanzo rose one eyebrow at the healer and asked, "Why?"   
  
A nervous nausia spread throughout Hakkai's stomach in fear that the monk would object and he explained quickly, "I did find him early, early this morning and it appeared that he was drunk."  
  
"Can I ask why?"  
  
"I'm afraid you cannot," Hakkai stated solemnly. "I let him to sleep on the couch in the open room downstairs with the inn owner's permission. It does seem that he has a terrible hangover and just incase something were to happen to him, I would like to be able to tend to him. For instance, if he were to vomit over the side of the jeep or in it, then I would want to help him." A smile spread over Hakkai's face, "Besides, I know that Goku would not be very good at it if it were to happed."  
  
"What makes you think you'll know what to do?"  
  
"I've dealt with children before. Either I did not tell you or you have forgotten but I used to be a school teacher."  
  
Sanzo had put a cigarette to his lips but paused his lighter half way to the cancer stick when he heard that. "Fine then." Hakkai's face lit up somewhat and he asked,  
  
"Really, Sanzo?"  
  
"Hey, at least it'll keep him and that damned monkey from bickering all day."  
  
"Thank you so much, Sanzo!" Hakkai clasped his hands together and smiled once more before making sure that they had packed everything that they needed in order to get to the next town and patting the spare tire decorated with the cover - case of a ying - yang and concluding, "I think we are ready to go, then!"  
  
It had been about an hour since they had left the hotel. Everything seemed so off: Goku had not complained about his "empty" stomach for the entire time since they had left the last town and Sanzo had not said one word about being set in the back of Jiipu. Gojyo was over in the passenger's seat, asleep and sweating bullets from his hangover.   
  
It was then that Hakkai wondered why everything always had a drawback. Why did everything always seem to be too good to be true? There was always a catch and, chances were that most of the time, it was not going to be a very good one. He wondered if this was the way that Gojyo wanted it to be: the same as it had been before, when all that Gojyo did was pine for Hakkai and all Hakkai did was pine for Gojyo. But why? When he knew that what both of them really wanted was each other, which was an option, why would longing for a person you can have be so appealing? The brunette's thoughts crashed: Maybe this was fate's way of saying that he was never destined to be in love? Was that it? When Hakkai fell in love, would it always end up in tragety?   
  
A pain shot through his stomach and he cringed, taking one hand off of the steering wheel to clutch his stomach and cough, feeling a pressuring pain edge its way up his throat until he gagged and he stopped the jeep, steering to the right for a quicker hault and causing the wheels to kick up even more dust and dirt.   
  
"Hakkai?" Goku inquired nervously and leant over the seat, standing up. "What's wrong!?"  
  
"I... I feel it," was all Hakkai spoke.   
  
"You feel what?" Sanzo asked.  
  
"I feel his pain." And with that Gojyo shot up suddenly, jolting forward and then doubling over, holding onto his stomach like his life depended on it and he threw half of his body over the edge of the jeep and vomitted.   
  
"Gojyo!" came Goku's exclimation.   
  
"Oh, Gojyo," Hakkai breathed and a worried expression came over his face and he ignored the pain in his own abdomen to lean to the side and place both of his hands on both of Gojyo's shoulders. "Gojyo?"  
  
"Nh?" Gojyo gagged and looked to Hakkai and his expression softened but it was ephemral as he spewed again over the side of the jeep. He felt Hakkai's hands at his neck and they gathered his hair and pulled every strand from the half - breed's face, moving his hair out of his way. If Gojyo could thank him, then he would have but he was still paying for the foolishness that he had taken part in the previous night and he felt sorry for having taken everything the wrong way when he and Hakkai had had that misunderstanding.   
  
A final spit was layed in the disgusting pool gathered on the ground next to the vehicle and Gojyo sighed in relief that the putrid event was finally over.   
  
"Are you alright, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked and he recieved a shaky nod from the other man. Gojyo sat back into the jeep completely and brought a trembling up to wipe the sweat from the back of his neck. "Goku? Could you get me a water bottle and wash - cloth from the bag?"  
  
Goku rumaged through the bag until he found the cloth and he handed it to Hakkai over his shoulder and then the water bottle.   
  
'Here we go,' Sanzo thought. 'Just watch. It's too obvious.'  
  
Hakkai opened the water bottle and placed the cloth where the cap was, pouring some of the cool liquid over it and then taking it in one and hand reaching up to wipe Gojyo's forehead clean from the perspiration that had gathered in tiny beads over his skin. Gojyo watched Hakkai's eyes, which never broke the contact between them - emeralds and rubies, like jewels, like forbidden birth - stones.   
  
They both forgot about their apology letters. They both forgot about the other two sitting in the back seat. They both forgot about the misunderstaning that had occured between both of them and Hakkai threw himself forward and wrapped his arms around Gojyo, hugging him close as the red - haired man tucked his head underneath Hakkai's chin and whispered, "It's alright, baby.... I just misunderstood you.... I'm sorry."  
  
Should I? Could I?  
  
Have said the wrong things right a thousand times  
  
If I could just rewind, see it in my mind  
  
If I could turn back time, you'd still be mine  
  
You cried, I died  
  
I should have shut my mouth, things headed south  
  
As the words slipped off my tongue, they sounded dumb  
  
If this old heart could talk, I'd say you're the one  
  
I'm wasting time when I think about it  
  
I should have drove all night  
  
I would have run all the lights  
  
I was misunderstood  
  
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could  
  
Damn, misunderstood  
  
Could I? Should I?  
  
Apologize for sleeping on the couch that night  
  
Staying out too late with all my friends  
  
You found me passed out in the yard again  
  
You cried, I tried  
  
To stretch the truth, but didn't lie  
  
It's not so bad when you think about it  
  
I should have drove all night  
  
I would have run all the lights  
  
I was misunderstood  
  
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could  
  
Damn, misunderstood  
  
Intentions good  
  
It's you and I  
  
Just think about it....  
  
I should have drove all night  
  
I would have run all the lights  
  
I was misunderstood  
  
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could  
  
I'm hanging outside your door  
  
I've been here before  
  
Misunderstood  
  
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could  
  
Damn, misunderstood  
  
Intentions good  
  
"MISUNDERSTOOD"  
  
-Bon Jovi  
  
Due to the hold - up in the travel then (it took Gojyo about 30 minutes to get all of the alcohol out of his system), the town was far from sight and it was already well past dark. They decided to pitch camp and sleep in the tent tonight.   
  
"We really need a fire. It gets extremely cold when it gets dark outside," Hakkai explained. He looked in every direction from their present location, but there was no forest in sight (of course not, because they are in mid - west China). He sighed and turned to the other members of the travelling group and spoke, "Erm.... There's no fire wood. We really don't have anything to keep a fire going."  
  
"But we'll freeze to death if we don't get a fire going in a few hours!" Goku exclaimed.   
  
"I know, I know, but we don't have anything for the fire."  
  
"Hey, I know!" Gojyo scoffed. "Let's burn the clothes!"  
  
"What clothes?" Hakkai's face became red.  
  
"Don't we have the extra clothes in the bag?"  
  
"Oh my goodness!" Hakkai exclaimed. "That bag is at the hotel! I grabbed the one with our personal items! I must have thought I packed it earlier!" Hakkai brought a fist over his forehead and pounded himself lightly and still, with the same false smile, "I'm so sorry!"  
  
"Ah," Gojyo sighed. "All that really means is we gotta wash 'em every few days."  
  
Goku looked to the half - breed and joked, "Yeah, if you wash 'em in front of Hakkai I bet you wouldn't care about taking off your clothes!"   
  
Gojyo rushed at the boy and landed one boot to his stomach, resulting in a stranged scream of something like, "Uwah! Help!"  
  
Hakkai's face became even redder, as if it were not even possible, but he quickly turned his attention to the sky when he felt a drop of water hit his head. 'Oh, my,' he thought. 'Why now, of all times?' [2]  
  
"Um, everyone!" Hakkai shouted to get his companions' attention. "It's - -" And it was then that the rain came pouring down, stopping the brunette in mid - sentence.   
  
"Get the tent up!" Gojyo commanded as he and the others hurried with the tented tarp to get it up as quickly as possible. "Damn it!"  
  
Well, they were all abosolutely drenched by the time the tent was suitable to stay in and Hakkai was sneezing and sniffling some as Gojyo set up the sleeping bags for the both of them on one side of the very large, large tent and Sanzo and Goku rolled out theirs. "Hakkai?" came Gojyo's concerned inquiry.  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"You look so pale!" Gojyo remarked and stood up in a hurry, placing both of his hands on Hakkai's shoulders. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yes, I'm fine." Hakkai beamed.   
  
"You're ill," Gojyo concluded and folded one flap of the open sleeping bag over and pointed one finger to it. "Get in."  
  
"But, Gojyo - -!"  
  
"Ah! No!" Gojyo smiled and laughed as he repeated, "Get in! You're sick, hun!"  
  
"No, I'm fine, Gojyo! Look, I should at least - -!"  
  
Gojyo swept the healer up in his arms and lay him down in the sleeping bag, covering him with the top layer and zipping up the sides. And then came the muffled complaint, "Gojo, I cam't movve."  
  
"I know."   
  
"Gojyo!"  
  
"Nah! Hakkai! You look like sushi wrapped too tight!" Goku joked and laughed some before finally settling down to sleep, seeing as the only thing left was to get into his sleeping - clothes, but Hakkai had left those at the hotel, so what else was there to do?  
  
Hakkai sighed and looked over to his side, where Gojyo had sat and had taken off his boots and placed them near a corner of the zipped up tent. "Gojyo?" The brunette was able to move his face away from the blanket far enough to speak normally.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Sanzo's light snoring: he and Goku had fallen asleep. Good. "Your... your sleeping bag is drenched!"  
  
"Ah, I know. I'll be fine."  
  
"You expect me to listen to you when you did not listen to me!?" Hakkai laughed lightly.  
  
Gojyo's expression softened and he looked down to the one that he loved so dear, all nestled up in the tiny space and it was at this point that he rose his slender fingers to the zipper of the sleeping bag and pulled down, folding the top over to gaze down to Hakkai. [3] The brunette smiled. He knew he did not have to speak what he wanted Gojyo to do. Their eyes easily transferred the message: the invitation and the response. When Gojyo's arm had folded the top portion of the sleeping bag over, he kept his hand there, his arm nearly pinning Hakkai to the ground just, by any unlikely chance, he wanted to move.   
  
'Should I really be doing this with Sanzo and Goku just a few feet away from us?' Gojyo thought. 'Aw, to hell with the world.' He smiled and took one hand and placed it to Hakkai's cheek, stroking the peach - soft skin with his thumb and watching the healer lean into his caress as he did always. He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning against Gojyo's hand. Expect the unexpected. Hah, there was no unexpected here. The unexpected was that one of them would not want to sleep next to the other for some reason. That was not going to happen tonight, even with the monk and the monkey on the other side of the tent.   
  
Hakkai opened his eyes, and, surprisingly, they were filled with the crystal - clear liquid that rarely ever graced his beautiful iris. His flawless lips were parted slightly to allow easy breathing, but not any heavier or faster than what it usually would be. His shoulders we set back against the soft inside surface of the sleeping bag and one hand was over his stomach. He was relaxed. He was not tense. He was comfrotable with this position; this was something that Gojyo found an exasperatingly relieving feeling in. Finally, he knew that, even with the rain pounding outside, Hakkai was alright with what they were doing and what they were about to do.   
  
"I love you," Hakkai whispered in the dead dark of night as the rain continued its dance upon the outside of the tent. "Gojyo...."  
  
The brunette then noticed goosebumps settle over Gojyo's flesh (he wore a sleevless shirt and jacket) and rose both hands up to Gojyo's shoulders and as Gojyo spoke, "I love you, too, Hakkai," Hakkai rubbed his hands over Gojyo's shoulders softly to get more heat into him.   
  
The brunette moved over as best he could and gave Gojyo what little space there was to take. And as Gojyo got in, he reached behind him and zipped himself in all the way, pushing the top of the bag down to just below their underarms and leaving not a bit of space between them, letting everything from their collar bones down to their bare feet to be pushed together. It was that that caught Gojyo's attention and he moved his leg forward and linked his foot around Hakkai's ankle, resulting in a slightly surprised look from the brunette. Trying his best to not give in the to sensational comfort that Gojyo was providing by rubbing his leg against his sweetheart's, Hakkai reached forward with both hands and placed them both on Gojyo's face, on either of his cheeks. He was holding his head there. Gojyo realized it and smiled before placing his arms around the waste of the other man, which was quite slim for a male, and pulled Hakkai to him so close that their breaths could be felt on each other's faces.  
  
They both smiled and pressed their lips to each other's.  
  
*End chapter #8*  
  
Author Notes:  
  
[1] I had to put this little note here because I wanted to point out that Sanzo should sleep in the kuro - leather (black leather) body suit because what else is he going to sleep in!? Of course, I have no idea of if it covers his entire body (very, very, very SEXY body). Oh, well, it's better than the idea that my friend had that he should sleep in the nude. For some reason, I just can't see him getting into his "P.J.'s" and that turns out to be his "birthday suit". And she also had to wonder, "Damn, it must be unbearable when he gets hard!" Ahahah!  
  
[2] I'm sorry that I make it rain a lot. Even though I love it when it rains for some reason, I know that the Sanzo - ikkou does not. I think I'm too mean. (Kira - san said so and then she kicked me for being so mean. I still have the bruise.) Anyway, I kind of had to make it rain because I was listening to "Rainy Days Never Stays" by The Brilliant Green, which is a very, very good Japanese band! Unfortunately, B - chan has gotten tired of me and my friends calling in to request it on Nippon Music Champ and has said that we have to give it a long break. *sobs*  
  
[3] Oh! Oh! Re - read that whole part when Gojyo and Hakkai have their adorable shounen - ai bit and pop in "Kagaro" by Cha Cha Maru and Gackto. It's got the best melody for this setting! (Cha Cha Maru and Gackto are extremely talented and super sexay Japanese musicians.)  
  
Well, at least one person likes my story *looks to reviews. All 5 are from the same person* Ha ha! Well, cliffhanger here. Don't worry, the next chapter will be up soon, hopefully. I have a school field trip to the mall tomorrow all day so that means no homework! Booya!  
  
Look forward to chapter #9!  
  
(Oh, and if you do not want to type out ShaGojyoxChoHakkaiYaoiLvr like my fanfiction.net name, use my other name: Tokitoh.)  
  
Ja ne! 


	9. Celebrate

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 9/?  
  
Rating: Uh - oh! It kinda depends on what you classify as R and PG - 13. Most people would say that this is R! *evil laugh* Don't worry. No Lemon.  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, etc. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi (for you people who don't speak Japanese, that's male/male relationships.... isn't it cute? *smiles*)  
  
*Still.... in.... flashback....!*  
  
Please read and review, seeing as Guardian of Jupiter has been the only one being very loyal and doing so. *smiles*   
  
Note: Chapters will be put up a little slower near May 20th, and until May 24th because there will be final exams. (I want good teachers for eighth grade ple - e - e - ase! *sobs*)  
  
Alright! Chapter Nine! *glomps Vash* Love and Peace!!  
  
_____________  
  
Part Ninth (9/?)  
  
They both smiled and pressed their lips to each other's.   
  
But this time was different for some reason. 'Each kiss will be different,' is what they told themselves. There was a strange stinging emotion hanging in the air and it made them feel like they had all the time in the world to do whatever they wanted. This is why they kept their eyes open then: both of them. They had both thought the same at the exact same time. Great minds think alike, right? [1] It was right then that Gojyo realized what passion burned in Hakkai's eyes when they had kissed those many times before. It was something like a burning emerald wild fire that blazed within those eyes. But one was dim. One was not there at all. It was the eye that he had torn out. However, Gojyo knew that if Hakkai could have it, he would have wanted that amazing fire to blaze in both of his eyes. Gojyo knew that there was a fire behind Hakkai's other eye....  
  
Hakkai experienced the same as his vision remained locked strictly to Gojyo's gorgeous eyes. He felt like telling Gojyo what he saw, but fear of breaking the kiss immediately shattered the notion. Reluctantly, Gojyo separated their lips, keeping his eyes locked with the other man's.   
  
"G - Gojyo," Hakkai murmured. Gojyo could see (and feel) that the sleeping bag in which they both were in was far too hot for both of them that night. Factoring in, with the warmth of the covers, the musky, rainy air and each other's body heat, the red - haired man heaved a sigh that soothed his lungs and throat and asked,  
  
"Is this too hot?"  
  
"What?" Hakkai almost whispered.  
  
"It's too hot for me, baby." Then he laughed, "So are you. Too hot for me."  
  
Hakkai brought his head under Gojyo's chin and snuggled himself inward. "Nothing's too hot for you."  
  
Gojyo reached back and pulled on the zipper of the sleeping bag, letting himself out reluctantly, but taking Hakkai with him, pulling him up gently by his shoulders until they were both in a sitting position.   
  
"We were just complaining about how cold it was a few minutes ago," Gojyo chuckled, "and now, we both think it's too hot?"  
  
Hakkai laughed but said nothing afterward and Gojyo stood up and invited Hakkai.   
  
"Why are we here of all places?" Hakkai asked as Gojyo led him to underneath the only tree for miles. 'And why didn't I see this tree here before?'  
  
"Can we just stay here for a while, Hakkai?" Gojyo inquired. It was then that Hakkai really wished that he had stayed back in the tent, in the warm, dry sleeping bag, instead of being out in the rain, dripping wet and freezing. He shivered and sneezed. "Please?" But when Gojyo said that, Hakkai agreed and sat down next to him, underneath the tree.   
  
"Gojyo?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Say it again. Will you?"  
  
"Hakkai?"  
  
Hakkai put his arms around one of Gojyo's and leant against his shoulder, closing his eyes.   
  
"Are you alright with this?" Gojyo querried as one of his hands found its way to Hakkai's cheek, lifting his head to make eye contact with him. "Even if it's raining like this?"  
  
Hakkai blinked as a raindrop fell from his hair and into one of his eyes but none of his other facial features changed and he leant into Gojyo's touch as he always did and answered truthfully, "Yes."  
  
"Damn it," Gojyo cursed quite seriously.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you know how much I want you?"  
  
That statement almost frightened Hakkai then and his face conveyed that. Gojyo apologized, silently and prepared to pull himself into a standing position but Hakkai protested then and Gojyo looked down to him. "Tell me," Hakkai whispered. "Tell me how much you want me, then, Gojyo."  
  
Gojyo felt the warmth of Hakkai's hand in his own and felt the dripping raindrops from the leaves of the branches above but the strongest feeling inside of him was the feeling of adoration for the other man he was with. The brunette pulled Gojyo down, back to sitting beside him, back so he could lean against his shoulder and it was then that Gojyo's words shot their way through Hakkai's thoughts when the red - haired half - breed said, "Why don't I show you?"   
  
Hakkai felt Gojyo's hands on his shoulders and begin to massage his neck tenderly. And with a kiss, Hakkai said no more. He was lying on the ground, his head thrown back and Gojyo over him, straddling his thighs and leaning over to kiss him. The brunette's hands were fastened to the back of Gojyo's head. Hakkai's eyes were half - lidded, his monocle lying on the other side of the tree trunk to prevent it being scratched or broken and his lips were parted and swollen from the multiple kisses that had been shared between he and Gojyo.   
  
Gojyo was feeling the same as he leant down for another passionate kiss that involved his tongue in Hakkai's mouth and Hakkai's tongue nearly down his throat and Gojyo groaned at this from deep down within the deepest bowels of himself. When they parted, between their lips was a trail of saliva and Gojyo reached to wipe off the trail from Hakkai's lips.   
  
And Gojyo felt like crying then, just from the beautiful sight that was layed out in front of him; we wanted to cry because he loved Hakkai so much. Right then, he realized that this was really the first time that he had ever taken things in a relationship so slowly. This was the first time that lust did not completely consume him and lock him into its cage, but it was when Gojyo really thought about more than someone's body. A key out of the cage. The look of Hakkai laying so trusting in front of him, his body was fully relaxed: he trusted him. He trusted Gojyo.   
  
Hakkai put his arms behind him and pushed himself up with a small amount of effort until he was leaning back on one of his elbows and with his other hand, well, it found its way to the scarred cheek that belonged to the half - breed over him. "You know, there have only been two people I can trust in this world," Hakkai remarked. Gojyo froze. "And you are one of them."  
  
Gojyo's eyes filled with glimmering tears that ran down his cheeks with no shame as he went forward and wrapped his arms around Hakkai's shoulders, burrying his face in Hakkai's shoulder and whispering a muffled endearment, "I love you, baby."  
  
"Gojyo...," Hakkai smiled and hugged the other man close. "I love you, too."  
  
"Forever," Gojyo continued, his voice almost in a monotone, so there was really no way to tell if it was his promise or an inquizition.   
  
At the exact same time, they pulled away only enough to see each other's faces and vowed, "I'll love you forever."  
  
Hakkai's hand slapped over his mouth and he turned his head away from Gojyo, almost embarassed, scared.   
  
"Hakkai?"  
  
His breathing hurried. His chest hurt. "That," Hakkai tried but his voice really could not come to him; but he tried, "That is... exactly what... Kanan and I used to say." A single tear rolled down his cheek. "We always did. Right when we woke up and right when we would sleep, even... see each other every moment, we would say it... at the same time... 'I'll love you forever.'"  
  
"Hakkai!" Gojyo nearly yelled. "Don't say things like that! You still love her! It was not your fault!"   
  
"We've been through this before, Gojyo."  
  
"We've been through the 'Replacement' misunderstanding, too." Gojyo stated solemnly.   
  
Hakkai's eyes were filled with fear. "Damn me...," he murmured, most likely to himself. "God... damn me!"  
  
"Hakkai?"  
  
Suddenly, a smile broke from Hakkai's lips and his honey - sweet laughter soothed his lover over him and the brunette said, through his tears, "God damn me because I was in love with my sister...," it was then that he took Gojyo's hand in his own and placed it over his chest, in a place where he could feel his racing heartbeat, "and now I'm homosexual."  
  
It was not long until they were sharing more passionate kisses and craving each other's lips more than anything else. And it was right then that Gojyo's words broke through Hakkai's thoughts and he inquired, forcing the question through his panting lips, "Hakkai... Do you also wish the celebrate the... solution to the misunderstanding... that we've found?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"That little 'fight' that we've had is over, right? Why don't we kick it on its way then?" Gojyo winked.   
  
Hakkai said nothing but instead, pulled Gojyo down for another loving kiss, pushing Gojyo's hand onto his chest and saying, "Gojyo, feel my heart."  
  
"It's beating so fast!"  
  
"It's because I'm happy. I'm anxious," he paused, "and a little scared, too."  
  
Gojyo knew that both he and Hakkai disagreed to go "all the way" then and there. But, still, Hakkai had the right to be a little frightened, which meant that Gojyo had the right to comfort him and he leant over and placed his lips next to one of Hakkai's ears and whispered, "You do not have to be scared, love. I'll never hurt you." After those words, Gojyo delved his tongue sensually deep into Hakkai's ear, the brunette giving a cry of something between shock and delight and put his hands to Gojyo's back, gripping Gojyo's vest and letting a gasp escape his lips here and there.   
  
"G - Gojyo...," Hakkai cried breathlessly as he felt his lover's lips move to the spot right behind his ear, the sensetive spot, and Hakkai felt his knees go weak, even though he was not standing. Gojyo's hands worked nervously and shakingly at the small red buttons and strings that kept Hakkai's shirt from falling open.   
  
"Goj- -!" But he was cut off by a kiss and Gojyo reminded him,   
  
"Remember, I won't hurt you. I'd rather die than hurt you, Hakkai."  
  
Hakkai let his eyes slip shut as Gojyo worked impatiently at the buttons until all four of them were undone. He looked to Hakkai and requested, "Put your hands over your head? I want the ultimate image of you, baby."  
  
The green - eyed man gave a genuine smile before lifting his arms over his head; this action caused a small amount of flesh to be exposed from his chest and it took all that Gojyo could to keep from moaning from the wonderful sight. He leant over to kiss the older man and while that was happening, he was able to undo the purple sash that ran from shoulder to waist diagonally across the other man's chest and pull back his shirt somewhat, but not before recieving a sudden, and what sounded like, frightened gasp.   
  
Gojyo pulled back slightly, enough to gaze into Hakkai's face, enough to make sure that there was no negative emotion show there. Hakkai's eyes were glazed with tears but he was able to blink them back and give a comforting smile as Gojyo leant down and pressed his lips to Hakkai's flawness neck. The brunette groaned and threw his head back as he felt Gojyo nip and suck at his neck.   
  
There was another kiss laid by Gojyo to Hakkai's lips and when they parted reluctantly, Gojyo found Hakkai's eyes half - lidded and his lips parted in heavier breathing. His arms were still over his head and Gojyo found a very surprising detail that suddenly Hakkai noticed as well as they both blushed red so terribly that it did not seem to be a colour any longer. Because Gojyo found himself straddling Hakkai's thighs, the brunette could feel the growing heat between the half - breed's legs.   
  
He suddenly noticed that their shoes were gone. Gojyo was pushing the cloth of Hakkai's shirt off of his shoulders slowly, pressing his lips to the pale skin and kissing every bit that was revealed to him.   
  
Gojyo's lips travelled past Hakkai's collarbone and this was where the former teacher found himself uncomfotable as his body tensed and Gojyo's kisses travelled over finely shaped chest muscles. The red - haired man noticed and paused, looking up from the brunette's chest and locking their eyes like so many times before. "Hakkai," Gojyo whispered. "Baby, if you tell me to stop, I will. You know I will."  
  
But these words did not seem to get through to him, as his state of nervousness had not settled one bit. Gojyo pushed himself upwards and laid a hearfelt, passionate, loving kiss to Hakkai's lips, transferring the message that he did not seem to understand.  
  
'You tell me to stop and I will.'  
  
'You promise?'  
  
'Baby, of course I do.'  
  
Hakkai bit his lip until it almost bled but Gojyo stopped him by brushing his lips against Hakkai's in the most feather soft kiss he had ever felt and Hakkai's thoughts wandered to nothing outside of the red - haired man atop him. He never thought that he would feel for his best friend this way but feelings change over time. This thought brought tears to the brunette's eyes, which ran freely down his cheeks.   
  
The rain pounded more insanely now, the dropplets so huge that someone would think them to be hail if they heard them pounding against a surface... the tent! Sanzo and Goku were still in the tent! What if they woke up and found Gojyo and Hakkai there in the midst of their celebration!? 'Oh, to Hell with what they think,' Hakkai pondered. 'Their opinion won't change the fact that I love him. I love Sha Gojyo.'  
  
More tears came. Hakkai thought them to be tears of joy, happiness, for he did not know that he could be so madly in love as this. And as the rain continued to pound, the branches of the single tree they were under fitering them out, the couple still remained drenched, not only in water but in their love for each other. Gojyo pushed himself up somewhat and pressed his lips to Hakkai's cheeks where the tears were rolling down his face, his long scarlet tresses falling over his shoulders and tickling Hakkai's neck.   
  
Gojyo kisses every one of Hakkai's tears away.  
  
Before they knew it, Gojyo found that his lips resumed their eager exploration of the slightly smaller man beneath him and after they had passed his collarbone, his hand found its way up to the end of Hakkai's shirt and he opened it fully, revealing Hakkai's chest entirely.   
  
Gojyo's eyes travelled past Hakkai's flawness neck to gaze upon beautiful chest muscles and perfect abodominals that were disrupted in their flow by a hideous gash that ran across Hakkai's abdomen. The brunette turned his glance elsewhere when he saw that Gojyo's eyes had fallen upon the scar. But when his eyes returned to the red - haired man's, he saw that Gojyo was looking him up and down once again, pausing at the pair of nipples that, Hakkai guessed, were the reason he opened his shirt in the first place.   
  
Gojyo gazed down to his lover: his shirt was wide open, slipping off of his shoulders, his arms over his head. Gojyo groaned. It was the most magnificent sight he had ever seen and he kissed Hakkai once more, for all the love he possessed could not be expressed through kisses, no matter how many, but Gojyo wanted to get as close as he could. He wanted to stay with Hakkai like this forever and just stare at him forever. He wanted to kiss him forever and he wanted to touch him forever.   
  
Hakkai gasped deeply into the kiss as he felt Gojyo's hands slide from where the hem of his pants were, over his abdominal muscles, and stopping where Hakkai's nipples were. The feather - soft touch of Gojyo's fingertips sliding up his body drove Hakkai almost wild and he would not be surprised right then and there if Gojyo asked if he could make sweet, passionate love him him right there. If it was with Gojyo, he would. If it was with the man that he loved, he would. He would do anything for Gojyo.  
  
But he was not ready for that yet.   
  
Hakkai broke the kiss suddenly when he felt Gojyo's fingers begin to tease at his nipples and he groaned, threw his head back, letting Gojyo know that he loved what was being given to him.   
  
The brunette's chest was heaving now. His eyes were shut and his mouth open. Gojyo leant over and began to kiss Hakkai's neck once more, savoring every single bit of Hakkai's flesh.   
  
Not only was Gojyo's arousal getting unbearably tight within the confides of his pants, but both he and his lover were soaking wet, the moonlight giving emphasis to every detail on their bodies. Gojyo felt Hakkai's flesh, running one hand down his front until he reached the hem of Hakkai's pants. Hakkai moaned once more and Gojyo could not help himself as he did too. God, he loved the sound of Hakkai in pleasure. He had no idea that the sounds of Hakkai's passion would get him so hard!   
  
The red - haired man continued to fondle with Hakkai's chest, extracting eager moans from his love beneath him. Gojyo slowed the ministrations and kissed Hakkai's shoulder as he ran his fingertips over Hakkai's nipples time and time again. The former teacher suddenly did not care what Gojyo said and he rose his arms up and wrapped them around Gojyo's neck, pulling closer.   
  
The hot wind blew in a humid smell of rain and dust. Hakkai gasped. The rain became heavier and ran its way through the branches of the tree overhead and Gojyo felt it rain down upon them.   
  
Gojyo had a change of plans in mind. Not as different as the position they were in at the time, but the red - haired man found it to be a wonderful intention. He rose up from where he was, removing his fingers from Hakkai's nipples and placing the healer against the treetrunk so that they were facing each other. Hakkai's face was plastered with confusion but he understood what Gojyo planned to do with him once the former general resumed his position of straddling Hakkai's thighs.   
  
Hakkai smiled in the darkness of the night and the humid air of the rain as he felt Gojyo's kisses on his neck once more and Gojyo's hands gently fondling and twisting his nipples. "Mm, Gojyo," Hakkai groaned.   
  
"Oh, Hakkai, do you love it?" Gojyo asked, his voice muffled because he was nuzzling the brunette's neck affectionately.  
  
"Oh, Gojyo!" Hakkai nearly screamed when Gojyo rubbed Hakkai's nipples between his thumb and forefinger. "I love it! Oh, I love it!" He paused to catch his breath and he murmured, "I love you!" And his hands began to work at Gojyo's vest, tugging it off as best he could. Gojyo paused and gave Hakkai a look like, 'What is it, baby?' but Hakkai just shook his head and explained, "Gojyo, I want to see you, too... please?"  
  
"Of course, baby."  
  
Gojyo reluctantly let Hakkai's nipples go from his fingers and leant back somewhat and let Hakkai remove his vest, placing it neatly a few feet away from them. Gojyo's white sleeveless shirt was gone and Hakkai immediately wrapped his arms around Gojyo's shoulders, pulling him closer to kiss him.   
  
During the kiss, Gojyo felt Hakkai's hands slide down his chest. The red - haired man was surprised and his eyes widened when he felt the brunette's fingers run over his nipples but he did not break the kiss.   
  
Gojyo could not take it anymore and he broke the kiss and left the green - eyed man thunderstruck. "G - Gojyo?" The red - haired man quickly seized Hakkai's wrists gently and pulled them over both of their heads, pinning them to the tree trunk.  
  
"Remember," Gojyo's voice was solemn as he spoke, yet at the same time, sweet, loving, and sexy, "that if you tell me to stop, I will." He said this partly in fear and partly in protection. He wanted to remind Hakkai that if he did anythig that made him uncomfortable, he should tell him, but he also said that so that Hakkai would not blame all of guilt on himself if he were to pull away.   
  
Hakkai nodded.  
  
Gojyo kissed his way down from Hakkai's chin all the way down to just above one of Hakkai's nipples and he paused there, keeping his eyes locked with the healer. No discomfort. No fright. Gojyo let his tongue slip from between his lips and delivered one long lick to Hakkai's chest.  
  
Hakkai could have died there. He would not care if he died right then and there. The feeling of Gojyo's mouth on his chest! It drove Hakkai absolutely wild!  
  
Gojyo licked Hakkai's chest again. The brunette's head was thrown back and he nearly screamed. Of course, it was when Gojyo took Hakkai's nipple in his mouth and began to twirl his tongue around it that Hakkai screamed in pleasure.   
  
"Gojyo! Gojyo! Gojyo!" Hakkai panted repeatedly every time Gojyo sucked at his lover's nipple. "Oh, God, Gojyo! I love you! I love you!"   
  
Hakkai tried his best to prevent his chest from slamming forward, further into Gojyo's mouth. He bit his lip. He clenched his fists. But sooner or later, he found that he could not help himself as he pushed his chest out with something of a half - heartedly stiffled moan of Gojyo's name.   
  
Gojyo sensed the feeling of distress coming over Hakkai and he murmured, "It's alright, baby."  
  
"But, Gojyo...!" Hakkai panted.  
  
"Don't be ashamed."  
  
Those words were all that Hakkai needed as he smiled through the rain and forced his hands free of Gojyo's grasp on his wrists.   
  
The half - breed nibbled affectionately on his lover's chest and the former teacher used all his self - control to keep from screaming. Slowly, he placed his hands on Gojyo's back, his wrists reaching just barely over his shoulders and resting on his shoulder - blades. Gojyo stopped what he was doing and looked up, meeting Hakkai's gaze with equal passion and tenderness.   
  
Gojyo kissed Hakkai once more. He smiled into it as he felt Hakkai's hands toy with his hair and attempt to find their right place. The red - haired man's tongue shot right into the brunette's mouth. Hakkai loved it; all of it.  
  
"Oh, Gojyo," Hakkai whispered when their lips had parted. "You are my shine in the storm [2]."  
  
Gojyo's lips lifted into a tender smile and their lips met again.  
  
Hakkai's nervousness suddenly flooded back to him when Gojyo's hand slid down his chest. It was right above his abdominal area, but it kept travelling lower. Hakkai did not break the kiss, but his body tensed up once more. The red - haired half - breed's fingers worked their way down Hakkai's chest, swirving here and curving there to explore the other man's muscle curves. Hakkai's eyes shot open. His hand went to far. Gojyo's fingerpads brushed over the hidious scar of the brunette's abdomen, bringing back all of the horrible memories of his past: all of the youkai, killing them and the knife he used to do it; Kanan, the prison cell, Chin Iisou, and the hidious screams of every single one of them. Everything went so fast, like a horrifying slideshow being run in his head. Someone pushed the button and Hakkai could not move. The picture flahed on the screen: the picture of the bloody room with the corpses and the blood, all of it. 'You see?' a voice murmured harshly into his ear, refering to the picture. 'You killed them all! And for what!?' The pain from the scar came back and if felt like he had just recieved it all over again. He pushed Gojyo away but in his haste to relieve himself of the terrible images, he tumbled over the various roots of the tree they were taking shelter under and rolled over a good three times before stopping, outside of the scant protection of the tree, the rain pouring over him and causing his hair to fall and frame his face. His pants became soaked with rain and his palms dirty with mud.   
  
"Oh, my God...," Gojyo muttered. He seemed to know just what it was he had done wrong. "Hakkai.... Dear God, I'm so sorry!"   
  
"It....," Hakkai stopped. He couldn't speak. "It... sounds like...," his hands flew over his ears while a painfl grimace spread over his face, "ringing! The rain sounds like ringing!"  
  
"Hakkai...."  
  
"And there's that bastard!" Hakkai threw his glance to the ground as he felt himself go numb with rage at his past. "That," he paused and then he spat, "bastard!" His voice then changed to something of a high - pitched whining, something that would be used to imitate another person but from the same speaker, "You happy yet?" Hakkai again, "How in the world could I be?"  
  
The voice: "You killed then all, damn it."  
  
Hakkai: "I know I did! Leave me alone!"  
  
The voice: "You aren't satisyed yet!?"  
  
Hakkai: "Why did you take her away from me!? She was all I had! She was all I wanted! Take someone else! Why didn't you leave us in peace!?"  
  
It seemed then that Hakkai was picked up and placed back in present time and he muttered, "And then the scar. The damned scar. Send me to Hell now! I don't understand!" He pounded a fist in the muddy ground and left it there as he began to sob, "I don't understand! Why didn't they just kill me!?"  
  
"Hakkai!" Gojyo lunged forward just as Hakkai's fist was about to pound the soaked ground once more. Gojyo wrapped his arms around Hakkai's upper arms, restraining any movement that he would make. "Stop this, Hakkai! It was not your fault!"  
  
The brunette's eyes seemed to lose their colour and his mouth was open in heavy breathing. He looked at Gojyo.  
  
"Gonou died... years ago." Gojyo rose a hand up and brushed Hakkai's hair from his right eye, the one that had been torn out and he kissed it, the brunette closing both eyes softly as he listened to both Gojyo and the pounding rain all around and atop them. Hakkai fell forward, right into Gojyo's embrace as he let himself go limp. Gojyo's arms loosened around his lover and the former teacher worked one arm free and pounded futily on Gojyo's shoulder, but it didn't hurt in the least. Instead, it was more of a tired, worn - out slap. Hakkai's head was buried in Gojyo's other shoulder and he cried into it, saying things like,  
  
"I don't understand!" And, "Why didn't they just kill me?"  
  
"Because...," Gojyo began, "We're supposed to be this way." He paused. "Only God would know the reason.... But I bet he must have had a plan." He pulled Hakkai off of him and smiled through both tears and rain as he concentrated his gaze on nothing else but the man before him and he continued, "Because...  
  
You were born to be my baby... and I was made to be your man...."  
  
*End Chapter #9*  
  
Author Notes:  
  
[1] Yes! Great minds think alike! I had fun on the math field trip so I bought a DVD when we went to the mall and it was Trigun (WHOOOO!!). It was the one where Wolfwood makes his first appearance. You know the part where that woman leaves her child behind by accident and then Vash and Wolfwood go all gun - ho (no pun intended) and both leap off of opposite sides of the bus. When they land, Vash is like, "What're you doing here?" And Wolfwood goes, "I'm going to save the child!" See? Great minds think alike!  
  
[2] Oh, yes, shine in the storm. Actually, I was listening to "Shine in the Storm" from Mobile Suit: Gundam 08th MS Team when I wrote this and I go, "Hey! It's raining in the story!" So I put that in there. Isn't it sweet?  
  
Oh my God! I can't believe I had the actual willpower to write all the way up to the END of chapter NINE! Only six reviews, but I guess good things come to those who wait.... Yeah, sure they do. When I was nine, I waited three years for a Vegeta x Bulma doujinshi. Did I get it even four years later? No! Not like I want it anymore, though. Ha ha.  
  
Please look forward to the next chapter! Ah! Chapter #10! We'll have a bash since 10 is a good number (I guess).  
  
Ja! 


	10. Remember

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 10/?  
  
Rating: Ch. #1 - 8 ~ PG - 13  
  
Ch. #9 ~ R  
  
Ch. #10 ~ PG - 13  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing(s): Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Kouryu x Koumyou Sanzo  
  
Implied: Sanzo x Homura  
  
(Please, people... don't hurt me.)  
  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately enough for me, I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, etc. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/ yaoi  
  
Notes: None, really! Chapters are gonna move REALLY fast now because I HAVE FINISHED SCHOOL! I'M AN EIGHTH GRADER NOW! WHOOOO! Summer vacation! Sweet! And Mountain Dew to keep me up on typing hyped at night. Wish me luck! Oh, and I'm listening to Poke'mon music so don't expect anything real intense right away. Ha ha. I know that I put a lot of "mush" in here, but that's only because I am absolutely obsessed with Gojyo and Hakkai, even when I'm not typing... so... there will always be a way for them to be alone. I'm not a very sophisticated writer but give me credit. I do what I can... or what I have the will power to endure, anyway. Actually, if you look at the other authors on fanfiction.net, well, I don't have a profile, but I'm pretty young, compared to everyone else.  
  
ANIME or MANGA?  
  
Hello, all of my loyal readers. Well, in my opinion, you're loyal enough for me if you read all the way through the first chapter. Well, I was going through some of the manga... again... and I realized quite a few things that were different from the anime and, since I know the frustration of not being able to find the manga when you want it, I guessed I would put some things in here. For one, and from what I understand, Gonou did not kill 1,000 youkai like it was mentioned in the anime. Instead, he killed 999 youkai and was then confronted by Chin Iisou, who attacked Gonou and then while he was lying on the floor injured, he cut his wrist and poured his blood over Gonou, thus making the 1,000th youkai's blood soak its way over Gonou and transforming him into a youkai. Another thing: in the anime, Kanan was killed from her slitting her neck. Manga: She stabbed herself in the abdomen, in order to ensure that the child inside of her would die. Ah! In the manga, there is no Hakuryu. Instead, he is called Jiipu, therefore, I will follow Minekura's original and call Hakuryu Jiipu from here on. I am not positive of this, but it is a good hunch: Sanzo has two pistols, one for youkai and one for other creatures (humans, animals, etc.). I'm not sure if that is true. Actually, I'm only positive about only half of these facts. The one about Jiipu and the one about Kanan are the ones I am 100% positive about. The whole 1,000 youkai deal... 95%. Good enough, right? And as insensitive as I sounded when I wrote this, please take into consideration: Because of Saiyuki, I cry more easily than ever. I hate angst now and I want to kick Minekura Kazuya for giving her characters Hell.  
  
Oh, look, Poke'mon is on. *watches*  
  
PLEASE READ: If you loyal readers have read all the way up to here, you might remember that this entire thing is a flashback to when Gojyo and Hakkai discovered their undying passion for each other. Well, I have decided that I am forgetting the flashback idea. Nothing big. It's just that you won't see //end flashback// for the one that has been taking place since chapter 1. I just don't know when I could fit in //end flashback// anytime soon. Oh, well. You'll still read, right?  
  
Alrighty, then! Chapter 10!  
  
___________  
  
Part Tenth (10/?)  
  
"Oh, Gojyo...," Hakkai breathed into the deep night air as Gojyo's lips travelled below his waist. "Gojyo!" His hands clenched the sheets and pulled at them futily, screaming and gasping.  
  
Gojyo rose one hand up and took Hakkai's hand in his, stroking the back of his hand in a comforting manner while his smile held everything positive about the union they were about to share.  
  
"Gojyo...."  
  
Gojyo woke with a start, his sweating body gleaming in the moonlight that crept through the open end of the tent. It was all a dream. Damn, he had never though of Hakkai in that way. He looked next to him. There was the sleeping Hakkai, turned to the other wall of the tent and slumbering soundly. The steady rise and fall of his form as he breathed even made Gojyo want to embrace him. How did he get back at the tent? Did he fall asleep and Hakkai carried him there? Perhaps. Hakkai is much stronger than people give him credit for.   
  
He removed both arms from his... sleeping bag? Only one left. He looked to Hakkai again. Sure enough, the brunette had chosen to give the last sleeping bag to Gojyo and picked up a blanket for himself, settling down on the hard, cold tent floor. He folded his arms over the surface of the comforter and sighed to himself.   
  
The rain had long since stopped pounding crazily since Hakkai and Gojyo had returned to the tent, the only evidence of it passing through were the various puddles that scattered across the ground outside and the humid, misty smell that hung insecantly in the air.  
  
He sighed again, part in frustration at himself for thinking about Hakkai that way and part because of the sweat that had gathered over his body from laying in the same position for a while. But who could blame him? Anyone could easily see that Hakkai was one of the most attractive men alive! And, still, Gojyo remembered seeing him in his dream in the most obscene ways. But he loved him. It wasn't just lust like before, when he would sleep with any woman because he was in a good mood 'cause he won poker and his libido was high. He loved Hakkai... and that would be the reason that they would make love. Gojyo would not fuck him. He could not fuck him. Still, remembering Hakkai in that dream, with his head thrown back and his hands clenching the sheets, his legs were parted and Gojyo was inside of him. Hakkai was screaming Gojyo's name. That's what woke him up. That painful arousal that he got in his dream was too unbearable so he woke.   
  
He looked to Hakkai again. 'Damn, he's just too gorgeous,' the half - breed thought.   
  
The gambler decided, well, hey, he could dream, couldn't he? He settled himself into the sleeping bag and shut his eyes. He smiled in his sleep.  
  
"Morning, Gojyo," Hakkai greeted cheerfully as he folded his blanket and picked the bundle up off of the ground, standing but keeping his eyes locked with his lover's.  
  
"Morning...," Gojyo laughed partly to himself.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"Nothing...."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"No. It's just that... well, last night I had the funniest dream."  
  
"Really? What was it about?"  
  
"You."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"And chocolate syrup."  
  
"O...oh."  
  
"Where's the saru and Mr. Wordly Monk?"   
  
"Out by Jiipu," Hakkai took the blanket to his chest and put his head down in an attempt to hide the blush that crept onto his face when Gojyo told him about the chocolate syrup. The half - breed noticed this and stood up, advancing toward Hakkai, and planted a kiss on the brunette's forehead with an honest,  
  
"Love ya."  
  
"Love you, too," Hakkai beamed.   
  
Gojyo exitted the tent and stepped into the sunlight, raising one hand to shield his eyes from the offending rays. "So," he addressed the others, "what's on the schedule for today? We hittin' any towns?"  
  
"We may be able to find one by dusk," Sanzo replied in his monotone.   
  
"Great, 'cause I'm aching to sleep in a real bed already." He felt guilty suddenly. Hakkai had given him the sleeping bag and slept on the ground and he had not complained, yet here was Gojyo whining to sleep in a bed. He looked back to the tent, but only to see that Hakkai was finishing gathering the last few things up from inside the tent, walking past the entry, which had been unzipped for a little fresh air, every few seconds.   
  
"Right, Gojyo?" Goku asked.  
  
"Uwah? What was that? I wasn't listening, saru."  
  
"I said, 'You and Hakkai are getting seperate beds because you broke up.'" He paused. "Right?"  
  
"Uh...." Gojyo shot a glare to Sanzo, who only snickered darkly and shrugged slightly. "Yeah. We broke up." He went with it for the sake of argument.   
  
"You're turning all red!" Goku blurted out and pointed a finger right in the middle of Gojyo's face.   
  
"Leave me alone, bakasaru!"   
  
"Why should I, akagokiburi!? I just wanna know the truth!"  
  
"Well, you ain't getting it from me!"  
  
"Will you two shut your traps!?" Sanzo cried, kicking the saru and nearly cracking Gojyo's skull with his fan.   
  
Hakkai laughed slightly to himself as he picked up the burnt out candle and gathered it with the other things. For one reason or another, he always loved to hear those fights. They seemed to be normal now. If they weren't happening, either Gojyo or Goku had fallen asleep or something, Hakkai felt uneasy. Maybe he would ask them a question to get them awake again. Not that he completely enjoyed the quarrels, but something inside of him said that they were a necessity of everyday life for him. Plus, they were downright hilarious.  
  
Gojyo and Goku were chasing each other around Jiipu by the time Hakkai exitted the tent with all of the extra things packed safely away in a medium sized bag, which he deposited in the back of the vehicle.  
  
"Sanzo, will you help me take down the tent?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
The stakes were pulled from the ground and Hakkai reached inward to pull the central pillar out, causing the tarp to collapse. They folded it up until it ended up in Sanzo's hands, who of course, handed it to Hakkai, who tucked it neatly away underneath the driver's seat in Jiipu.   
  
"I swear, they bicker like children," Sanzo muttered under his breath.  
  
"Who says they're any different?" Hakkai laughed and opened the driver's door, sitting in and then waving for Gojyo and Goku to hop in the back so they could start off. Neither of them complied. Hakkai pushed the break petal up and began driving away at a slow pace to get their attention,  
  
"Hey! Hakkai! Don't leave without us!" both of them yelped and began chasing after the vehicle as its speed increased gradually. Sooner or later, both of them were sprinting to catch up to the other two members of the group and it was then that Hakkai decided to slow down. Goku climbed in the back but Gojyo came around to Hakkai, panting from the running and reached out with one hand, flicking Hakkai on the forehead.   
  
"Don't do that!" he smiled.   
  
"Oh, come, now. I needed a way to get your attention. Plus, it might teach you something about fighting instead of packing!"  
  
Gojyo sighed and took his seat in the back of Jiipu (even though there are no back seats in Jiipu).   
  
"Alright, then," Hakkai concluded. "We're off."  
  
***  
  
2 weeks later  
  
"Holy shit! I had no idea!" Gojyo exclaimed as he set his glass down on the bar table. "I never knew that about you, Sanzo," he teased.  
  
"Shut up, already," Sanzo growled, ignoring the others.  
  
"No, really, saying those things in your sleep."  
  
"Yeah!" Goku continued with the story he was telling. "He says this one name over and over again, too."  
  
"Oh, really, now?" Gojyo smirked. "Aw, does our wittle Sanzo have a cwush? Ne, saru, what was the name?"  
  
"I think it was Homura." "Homura? Who's Homura, Sanzo?" Gojyo pointed a finger in Sanzo's face. "Some secret lover?"  
  
"I seriously have no idea," Sanzo muttered.  
  
"Excuse me, sir," a young waitress pardoned from behind the monk. "Sorry for interrupting but how will you be paying for your drink?"  
  
Sanzo sighed in frustration as he dug around in one of his sleeves until out came... cash. Enough cash to cover the bill anyway.  
  
"Yo, what happened to the Gold Card?" Gojyo inquired when the waitress had counted the money carefully and thanked them, walking away.  
  
"Specifically, I dunno," Sanzo began, "but Hakkai wanted to borrow it for something. He begged the living shit out of me so I finally let him. You know the way he gets when he really wants to do something. All the 'please' and shit like that."  
  
"What could he want it for? Didn't we find a hotel earlier when we came in here?"  
  
"Go see for yourself," Sanzo took another drink from the near empty beer can he had in his hand and pointed to the doorway of the small bar with his other hand.  
  
"Eh? Hakkai!" Gojyo exclaimed and pushed his chair back, nearly sprinting to the healer at the entrance to the drinkery. "So, where have you been? Haven't seen you since we found the hotel!"  
  
"I, erm...," Hakkai stammered and blushed for some reason. "I kind of... made another little reservation... besides the hotel I mean."   
  
"What? Where?"  
  
"Um... Gojyo?"   
  
"Yes?"   
  
"Will you have dinner with me tonight? I know it's wierd what we did before and this is actually the first time we'll go out, but --"  
  
"Say no more," Gojyo interupted but then offered a tender smile that made the brunette's heart melt. "Of course I will."  
  
"Alright," Hakkai said and smiled.   
  
A raspy laugh was hacked over the topside of the table beside the doorway as one of the men sitting there remarked with an obscene gesture to the happy couple in the doorway, "Ah, look, couple of fags making din revs."  
  
Hakkai's hands few over his mouth and his eyes grew wide. Fags? What in the world?  
  
"Aw, so sweet," another man at the table scoffed rather harshly with a tone of voice that would scare any child into running to their guardians. Not to mention his smile was full of holes.  
  
"I - I - I... I," Hakkai couldn't speak even to defend himself that time. How could someone make such cruel observations over their relationship like that? What were they?  
  
"Oi," Gojyo slammed one fist over the top of the table that the men were sitting at. "Don't be sayin' shit like that to my koi and me."  
  
"Oh, your koi, mister?" a woman sauntered over to the table and took her seat over the top with a manner of gestures that Gojyo would have normally taken as a hint of 'let's get upstairs 'cause I know you want me' but Gojyo rejected the invitation and with a pout, the woman continued, "Never thought that a guy like you would end up with a guy like that." She looked over toward Hakkai with a glare that would have sent him running but his feet were glued to the ground until they could have the matter settled out.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Gojyo asked and took Hakkai's hand in his own, giving a reassuring sqeeze before continuing, "Shit, do I even know you?"  
  
"Nah, but all my friends tell me about you. You're real good."  
  
"Look, I'm not that kinda guy anymore."  
  
"What!? Why not!?"  
  
"Because...," Gojyo looked over to Hakkai's face, which had become a little more relaxed when the half - breed took his hand in his and stated, "because I was never in love with any of your 'friends'. I found love. You leave it alone."  
  
"Oh, but come on! All gay guys want is gay sex with other gay guys!"   
  
"You leave them alone!" a voice from behind all of them sounded with a determined air and a girl stepped forth with an apron on and a bandana on her head, quite young to be working at the bar.   
  
Hakkai stared at her in disbelief before finally murmuring, "Sh - Shitagaki!"  
  
Shi averted her attention to the men and the woman sitting on and at the table for the moment and resumed yelling to them, even though the bar was dead silent, "My God, if I had a buck for everytime someone tried to screw up a perfect relaionship! Just because you're 'normal' in your opinion doesn't mean everyone else has ta be! Damn! So what if they're in love with each other? What would you get out of it if you changed them!?"  
  
"But, it's just --" the woman began.  
  
"Just nothing. Answer the question!"  
  
"But --!"  
  
"I don't hear an answer!"  
  
"Nothing," she muttered.  
  
"Can't hear you!"  
  
"Nothing!" she yelled back.   
  
"Good! Now don't make anymore trouble," she gestured to the entrance of the bar. "Get out of my bar!"  
  
After vacating the area, all of the men and the woman were then banned, by Shi, to never return again, but one would not leave without a final farewell to the couple being insulted and he turned to Hakkai, pointed a finger to him and said, "I'll be back for Gojyo. Count on it."  
  
The brunette needed to brush the threat out of his thoughts as quick as possible else he become more frightened than he was before.   
  
"Damn, really!" Shi cursed and scratched her head with a finger. "I still don't get it why people think that gays are so wrong.... Then again, I don't see why everyone hates Michael Jackson, either."  
  
Gojyo: "Who's Michael Jackson?"  
  
"Nevermind. Look, I'm really sorry for how those bastards acted towards you guys. They won't come back into this bar until you leave. I swear on it." She offered a smile.  
  
"Thank you. But I don't understand...," Hakkai said. "How did you get here? I thought you lived back in the... other... town."  
  
"My family runs a variety of bars over this part of China. Travel's fast, you know, that kinda shit. Good thing I decided to visit my aunt today."  
  
They all arrived at the designated hotel late that night, near midnight, due to a certain two unnamed and unimportant individuals (otherwise known as Gojyo and Sanzo) desiring to grab a "few" drinks at the local bar.   
  
"Are you sure that you'll be alright, Sanzo?" Hakkai inquired as the monk and brown - haired teenager had just entered their room.   
  
"Yeah, fine. Shut up already."  
  
"Well, I know that if I room with Gojyo, I'll be able to tend to him, so..."  
  
Sanzo shut the door.   
  
Hakkai: "Alright, then." He smiled and turned to Gojyo, who opened the door to their room and invited him in.   
  
Sanzo lay down on the bed covers of the seemingly uncomfortable hotel bed. After about ten minutes of the saru complainging about it being too hot, he rose from his bed and with an irritated air, practically tore open the window, letting the musky night air roam free in the hotel room. Next thing he knew, Goku was asleep in the other hotel bed beside his. The monk hiccuped. He folded down the top part of his robe to reveal his black bodysuit and situated himself underneath the covers of his bed.  
  
"Damn, it's not like I've never drunk before," Sanzo muttered to himself when he remembered Hakkai's worried tone that was taken.   
  
An extremely small smile spread across his face at the thought of a rare pleasant memory of his earlier years. He could still remember the feeling of the wooden floor against his knees and the clink of the sake bottles as they klanked together. And the honey - sweet voice that spoke to him in a soothing manner...  
  
Sanzo found himself remembering the first time he found love....  
  
//flashback//  
  
"Did you know, Kouryu," Koumyou Sanzo began as he beckoned the young boy to take a seat next to him, "when someone drinks too much, it only exaggerates emotions?"  
  
Being himself, the young Kouryu didn't seem to care but he sat down in a formal fashion next to the elder and listened.   
  
Koumyou was one of the only people that really ever did care for Kouryu. He and Seiyuu were really the only people that would talk to him without giving a disgusted response through facial expression or a terrible insult. They were like family to him, because he had no one else. He never did, ever since he could remember.  
  
A tiny sake cup was pressed into Kouryu's hand. Koumyou smiled at the boy's inquizitive face but proceeded in filling the tiny cup with sake.   
  
"I don't think tonight is a good one for dri - -," Kouryu began but was halted gently by a fingertip to his lips.  
  
"You know you want to." Koumyou smiled. He took a sip from his own tiny glass of sake and leant against the paper paned wall gently, letting a light sigh escape from his lips.  
  
Kouryou stared to the clear liquid in his cup for a moment before deciding to drink.  
  
It was later still, somewhere deep into late evening and both of them were still sitting together, sharing drinks. Kouryu's cheeks were red as if a blush had crept quietly across them as he leant against the wall behind them, merely staring at the ceiling. If he lost enough sanity, he would wind up with spiralled eyes like Himura Kenshin [1], but luckily, he hadn't reached that state of drunkeness... yet.  
  
"Ne," Kouryu spoke up, breaking the irritating silence that insisted upon hanging in the air.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Why is it that you only sit and drink and talk with me?"  
  
Koumyou let himself to think a while before finally supplying an answer as he filled Kouryu's cup again and paused before he let the solution reach the young boy's ear.  
  
"Because...," he explained, "you are very special to me." And with that, he slowly leant forward and pushed his lips to one of Kouryu's flushed cheeks. The boy looked to him when he had pulled away, a thunderstruck appearance painted across his features but it quickly gave way to a smile.  
  
Koumyou leant toward the boy again with a gentle smile and it was then that Kouryu remembered what he had said earlier: that when someone is drunk, it only exaggerates their emotions. It exaggerated Koumyou's emotions then as his lips came in contact with Kouryu's.   
  
First love.  
  
  
  
//end flashback//  
  
*End Chapter Ten*  
  
Wow, would you look at that? That flashback actually ended! Ah... this laptop hates me. Hates me so much. I can tell. I have a way of knowing these things....  
  
Author Notes:  
  
[1] Come on, everybody has seen Rurouni Kenshin. Especially the people to watch Toonami! But they edit and dub that shit to death so... oh, well. Anyway, isn't it cute when Kenshin is like drunk or something and he has little spiral eyes? Drunk, K.O.ed, confused, whatever. He's so cute. (I love Sanosuke x Kenshin!)  
  
Sorry I have not written on this in so long. Family problems and such have kept me from writing so I have to stay up late at night to write... come on, how long can two liters of Mountain Dew last with a person like me? About ten minutes, give or take how big the glass I'm drinking out of is. Ha ha.  
  
Please review and look forward to Chapter 11!  
  
-Ja ne! 


	11. Determination

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 11/?  
  
Rating: Chapter 1 - 8 : PG - 13  
  
Chapter 9 : R  
  
Chapter 10 - 11: PG - 13  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
As of now, this entire story is for, not only all you Gojyo x Hakkai fans, but Faye Faye as well! Because she lets me use her laptop to type this and I keep it at mah house. Thanks, Faye Faye! And Happy Birthday, too! Oh, and if you oh, so loyal, readers are reading this fanfic with the knowledge of the ENGLISH version of Saiyuki... shut off your computer and watch the JAPANESE version. They are so different, trust me, and the Japanese version, well, let's just say that in the words of ME... Americans mess up just about everything in anime. It should just be kept in Japanese and given English subtitles, but no... *rolls eyes*  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, etc. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi (for you people who don't speak Japanese, that's male/male relationships.... isn't it cute? *smiles*)  
  
Oh, and this chapter contains somewhat of a battle. Don't beat up on me. I really, really, REALLY stink at writting action scenes. I mean... it's really terrible.  
  
Alright, here we go!  
  
__________ Part Eleventh (11/?)  
  
"It's terrible! It's absolutely horrid!" A woman burst through the doors of the hotel of which the Sanzo - ikkou were staying, flailing her arms like mad and demanding help as fast as possible at the front desk. "Please! Somebody has to help!"  
  
"Please, calm down, ma'am." One of the employees of the hotel soothed, trying to calm the frantic woman down as best as he could. "What happened?"  
  
"It was a youkai! He came out of nowhere and struck my fiance down and then fled! He ran! My fiance needs help! His arm is gone! He's lying in front of the grocery!"  
  
"We'll call authorities and medical right away," the man assured and then ran off to the back of the hotel. Dialing tones and a hurried voice was heard as the man instructed upon where to find the injured person and what they needed.  
  
The Sanzo - ikkou, who were right in the middle of eating breakfast at one of the tables, could not help but overhear.   
  
"Should we do something?" Gojyo murmured to the others under his breath.  
  
"No. What we need to do is find that youkai if he strikes again. We stand out too much. He'll come out," came Sanzo's reply.  
  
"Yes. If Kougaiji is as persistant as to keep sending the youkai after us, which I am sure that he is, they'll keep coming."  
  
"You'd think he would get the point that a few ordinary youkai are no threat. Him on the other hand... well, that's entirely different."  
  
"Eeh." Gojyo nodded.  
  
Countless footsteps were heard outside as many of the townspeople came to watch the tragety unfold. The medicals were there, but the man had lost so much blood, he was in critical condition.   
  
He and his fiance were brought to the hospital immidiately.  
  
Next Day ~ Early Evening  
  
"Hakkai!? What's all this about!?" Gojyo gasped as he walked into his and Hakkai's room and his eyes fell upon a small round table with white table cloth and two glasses of dark crimson wine.  
  
"It's, um...," Hakkai began but averted his eyes as a blush painted itself onto his cheeks. "It's what I planned.... It's not exactly dinner, but...."  
  
His words were cut off as Gojyo planted a tasty kiss on Hakkai's lips with a light sigh and groan mixed in. "You're full of surprises," he murmured when their lips parted.  
  
"Oh, and you aren't?" Hakkai giggled.  
  
They clinked the delecate glasses together before they drank but before the wine touched their lips, Gojyo interrupted with a sudden, "Uh - oh.... Shouldn't we drink to something?" [1]  
  
"Yes, erm.... How about we toast... to...," he paused. He really had no idea what to say and he laughed at himself for it.  
  
"Alright, alright, alright," Gojyo laughed along with him. "Let's just drink to us. May we always be together."  
  
"Lovely...," Hakkai breathed with a dreamy smile before sipping the wine from his glass.  
  
"We aren't going to sit down at the table?" Gojyo inquired, for they were both standing in front of each other, next to the alabaster sheeted piece.  
  
"No... It's nice just like this, isn't it?" Hakkai said and moved towards Gojyo, setting his glass down on the table before moving to wrap his arms around Gojyo's neck and lean against his chest.   
  
"My, you're quite the romantic tonight, aren't you, baby?" Gojyo put his arms around Hakkai's waist but then began to sway side to side gently in a dancing sort of manner.   
  
"We're going to dance without any music?" Hakkai asked, but once he did, Gojyo let a familiar pattern of notes flow from his lips in a steady humming as he locked his fingers with Hakkai's and placed his other hand on Hakkai's hip... lower than where it should have been. "Oh! Gojyo!" Hakkai cooed as he pressed himself closer to the other man. "I think you put it a little... too low?"  
  
"Oh, but not low enough for me, babe," Gojyo informed his lover and brought his hand down to the brunette's lower hip and gave it a firm squeeze.  
  
"Gojyo!"  
  
"Mm, you know, everything about your body is just unbelievable," Gojyo let a smile creep across his lips as Gojyo squeezed Hakkai's leg again.   
  
"Gojyo, stop! You'll drive me wild!" Hakkai gasped.  
  
"Oh, you mean I haven't yet?"   
  
It was amazing, Hakkai had thought, that the littlest touch from Gojyo could make Hakkai go crazy. Sooner or later, it would get to the point where if Gojyo even looked at Hakkai, he would burst out in an orgasm!   
  
Both of them tumbled over to the bed, landing onto the shaky thing, clutching furiously to each other. The breathing hurried and their bodies were shaking. The gambler showered Hakkai's face with delecate kisses as the pad of his thumb gently stroked one of the brunette's cheeks. They both felt a pressure built up in their lower abdominal areas, nothing related to a sexual orgasm but more of an anxious nervousness.   
  
Before Hakkai knew it, his shirt was open entirely and Gojyo was gently re - exploring every feature of the brunette's chest with his tongue and fingers.   
  
And Hakkai was about to ask Gojyo to do something to him when a pained scream rang through the hotel room from outside.   
  
Both men paused reluctantly but realized that their love for each other would have to painfully wait as they both ran to the window and the red - haired man lifted it open in a hurry to find that there was a faint figure of a person, barely able to be seen lying motionless in the dark dirted street with a pool of, supposedly, blood seeping out from where their shoulder was.  
  
"Damn it," Gojyo cursed quite loudly and threw on his jacket, ordering Hakkai to follow immediately behind him by taking one of his hands in his as they both sprinted out the door of their room and down the steps. Fortunately enough for him, the green - eyed man had worked his hand free of Gojyo's grasp long enough to button his shirt up before anyone could see.   
  
They both arrived outside along with another person from the hotel, who carried a flashlight, for it was getting darker, and Sanzo. The person lying motionless on the ground seemed to be around sixteen years of age, dressed in green and a God - gone - wrong nose piercing.  
  
"Is he alive?" Hakkai inquired to the others in a whisper as the person with the flashlight shone the beam on the body.   
  
"He's breathing but it's real weak. He won't last much longer," Sanzo informed. His gaze fell to the side of the body. "He's lost so much blood, even if we did call medical attention, it wouldn't do us any good."  
  
"Yes, but...," Hakkai's eyes widened when the realization came over him. "Look. He was injured the same way as the first man." Hakkai motioned toward the teenager's shoulder: his arm nearly severed entirely off of his body. "But, see, where the skin here," he pointed to where the huge gash in the skin began, "see how it's that desgusting purple colour? There was probably pressure put to it. It wasn't a sharp object that made this man lose his arm. It was a pressure."  
  
"Extreme pressure," Gojyo murmured.   
  
"Did you notice that that was the way that the first man was injured, also?"  
  
"Then that means...," Sanzo muttered.  
  
"That, if the two victims were attacked in the same way, that the offender attacked them from above," Hakkai finished Sanzo's sentence. All four of them, including the man with the flashlight, turned their heads upward, toward the sky.  
  
"Could they have come from the top of the buildings and jumped down, then?" the man asked as he flipped off the switch of his hand - held - lantern.  
  
"Most likely," Sanzo answered.  
  
"Hey, guys!" Goku sprinted frantically toward the others and skidded to a stop but turned around a full one - eighty before pointing to the rooftop of the hotel they were staying in. "I heard someone on the roof just now...! Look, there he is!" the boy cried as a figure became clear in the last light of the reluctantly setting sun.  
  
"He was on the roof!" Gojyo cried.  
  
"O-o-o-h, shit!" the miscellaneous man cried and scrambled frantically for the nearest building. "I'm not stayin' out here!"  
  
"He's a youkai," Sanzo concluded abruptly with a step forward.  
  
"How can you tell?"  
  
"It's that stench." The monk's features twitched at the mention of it.   
  
"Let's go get him, then! Before anyone else gets hurt!" Goku yelled enthusiastically.   
  
"Goku, Hakkai, you go that way," Sanzo instructed as he pointed in one direction and then in the other when he finished, "Gojyo and I will get on the other side of him. Try to find a way to get on the roof. If there aren't any, use a window. This guy can probably jump yards at a time."  
  
"Understood," Hakkai said with a nod as he and Goku ran off in the opposite direction as the monk and half - breed.   
  
"God damn it, why does everything have to get other people involved all the time?" Gojyo muttered, mostly to himself, as he ran to the nearest building to try and find a stairway to the roof.   
  
"Because we're all selfish bastards in the end of it," Sanzo told him, as if scolding him.  
  
"Truth."  
  
"Over there." Sanzo stopped dead in his tracks; Gojyo, on the other hand, nearly tripped trying to cease in his dash. "That's got a starcase to the roof."  
  
"How can you tell?" Gojyo asked with his usual, everyday, nonchalant, tone.  
  
"Looking through the window might help," Sanzo answered as if it were the most obvious thing to ever exhist.  
  
"Am I supposed to feel stupid?"  
  
The monk turned to the hybrid and gave him a glare that stated by itself, "Do you really want an answer?"  
  
They both ran for the building and jerked themselves up the narrow stairway before finally coming to an old wooden door that led to the roof with a rusted lock over it. Of course, the lock would never stand a good kick from the half - breed as he jumped up to the top of the establishment.  
  
'Good thing they make all the buildings the same height,' Gojyo laughed to himself in his mind.   
  
Both Gojyo and Sanzo were in complete confusion as they scanned the tops of every building for the youkai that could have been terrorizing the townspeople. Nothing. Their sight did fall, however, onto Hakkai and Goku on the far other side of the tiny town, both of them waving over to the red - haired man and the blonde to let them know that they had found a way to a rooftop. Gojyo waved back; nobody ever expected Sanzo to, so of course, he didn't.  
  
Gojyo gave a big shrug Hakkai and Goku's way to let them know that they hadn't found the villain of the moment yet. He pointed to the other two as if inquiring if they had found anything yet. Goku shook his head violently and gave a look that made him look like Shidou Hikaru [2].   
  
But it was when all four of them least expected it that one of the buildings, the furthest away from both search groups, tumbled frantically to the ground, as if every brick was pulled down into the dirt.  
  
"Here we go," Sanzo murmured, more to himself than anyone else.  
  
Before any of them knew it, the destruction of the buildings had come to the ones that they were standing upon at the very moment, letting various other homes and stores crumple in the path to reach them.   
  
Every thing paused.  
  
Every thing was so still.  
  
And they waited right there... but nothing happened. The wind blew a howling, haunting ballad unto the town. Every thing there was so silent, you could hear the dust as it was picked up and placed back on the ground again in tiny twisters of miniature gale winds. Nobody moved.  
  
But Hakkai's eyes widened suddenly and he cried out, "Get down! Get down on the ground now!" But nobody had time to react as Sanzo and Gojyo's building began to shake and hastely crumble to the floor.  
  
"Fuck!" Gojyo cursed and tried his best to avoid the clatter of being caught in the destruction but was engulfed in a fog of contruction ashes and bricks, along with Sanzo, both of them unable to be seen after the smoke had cleared.   
  
"Gojyo! Sanzo!" Hakkai cried as he frantically tried to find the quickest way to the ground and decided, even though they were two stories into the air, that he would jump. When he landed, a pain shot through his ankle as he heard something crack in his body with an air of determination, but he kept going. He ran forward, down the road, a turn here and there, before he realized that Goku was right behind him, keeping up with him with no problem.   
  
They were haulted, however, by the figure on the rooftop as it appeared right before them, and, as Sanzo has stated before, it was a youkai.   
  
"One youkai! Kougaiji must not get it, yet!"  
  
"Either that or his henchman are becoming increasingly weaker when he sends them out to kill us," Hakkai sighed as he felt a bead of sweat run its way down the side of his face. "Goku, can you handle this guy without sustaining serious injury while I try to find Gojyo and Sanzo?"  
  
"Eh!" Goku nodded.  
  
"Good," Hakkai exhailed in relief for the constant flow of energy that ran through the teenager, seeing as he was never able to hold still. He turned around and ran.  
  
But when Hakkai heard a scream come behind him, turning around prived as a mistake.  
  
The next thing he knew, everything went black....  
  
***  
  
'Is something wrong, Hakkai?'  
  
'Hakkai, you look so scared.'  
  
'I know what you're gonna say.'  
  
"G... Gojyo?"  
  
'Listen to me, Hakkai.'  
  
'Yes, we should both live for the ones we love, baby.'  
  
'I swear...'  
  
"Gojyo?"  
  
'I'll love you forever...'  
  
"Ah!" Hakkai gasped and sat straight up, his posture taking the form of irregularly poor and his breathing hurried. "Wh - what happened?" His hand flew over his shoulder, which at that point, began to throb painfully. There was a hot, slippery texture on his forehead, a bandage, drenched in sweat, and a rough feeling that graced his fingertips when he touched his shoulder. A bandage there, also. What had happened? The last thing he remembered was when Goku had cried out and then everything went black. The last thing he felt was a moisture from the ground, somewhere around his body (most likely blood) and the irritating feeling of gravel digging its way under his flesh.  
  
The pain ebbed down gradually until it was barely there and the brunette took this opportunity to look around. "Is anybody here?"  
  
He blinked. 'Hope they're all alright.'  
  
It was then that he noticed that he had been placed in a tiny bed with light, thin covers, almost horrifyingly white. He reached forward and gathered the covers all up in his hands to push them to the sides, but only to find that there were bandages on two of his fingers, over the tips, on his left hand.   
  
'What the--?'  
  
A thud was heard outside his nearly closed door and a familiar sandy colour ran across the crack between the door and the wall. 'Was that Sanzo?'  
  
He got up and folded the covers over the mattress neatly before exitting the room to find, indeed, it was the monk, hastely making his way somewhere.  
  
"S... Sanzo?" Hakkai spoke up suddenly, causing the blond to stop abruptly and turn his head slightly. "What... happened?"  
  
"If you mean about the fight...," Sanzo began, turning to face the healer, revealing that there was a rather unsightly, bloodstained bandage over his right cheek and eye, "I was going to see if Gojyo and Goku made it out."  
  
"Oh... Um... Why is part of my hand bandaged? I noticed when I woke up," Hakkai explained as he held up the hand with the alabaster cloth over it.  
  
"Well, from what the doctors say, you fell. And it obviously onto the ground. So much gravel under your fingernails caused them to pop right off."  
  
"What?" Hakkai went wide - eyed. "So... I have two less fingernails now?"  
  
"Tch." Sanzo shrugged and continued proceeding to where he had planned before he was interrupted.   
  
***  
  
Later...  
  
***  
  
The brunette sighed as he lay back down on his ice cold sheets on his bed later that night, his hands over his stomach and his eyes locked on the ceiling as he was immersed deep in thought. His mind wondered to placed it hadn't cared to peek into before and he realized that he and Gojyo did always find a way to be alone with each other for a private moment. He touched his lips with his fingertips. Gojyo's kiss was still felt there, even though he still had no clue as to where the half - breed was.   
  
Hakkai sneezed.   
  
The window was open, letting all of the chilling air into the room. He could have sworn that the route in which they were travelling was two different worlds at times. At night, it could get unbearably cold but in the day, it was so hot, dehydration was easy to come by. He got up and shut the window.  
  
A knock came over his door.  
  
"Who is it?" Hakkai asked politely.  
  
"It's me," Sanzo answered from the other side of the barrier. "Look, I need to talk to you."  
  
"Alright," Hakkai said and moved to open the door. "What is it, Sanzo?"  
  
For the first time, the brunette saw a look of hesitation come over the monk's features and he began to worry even more than before. Something might have happened to Gojyo or Goku. Was that what this was all about? Indeed, Sanzo made it out alright and Hakkai was there, also, but they had both been fighting alongside another person. What if they didn't make it out?   
  
"Look, they can't find Goku... or Gojyo."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It might be hard on you but they gave up all hope on finding them in this town."  
  
The brunette's hands began to shake unbearably as he brought one over his mouth to somewhat muffle the wail that escaped his lips, "It can't be! We can't give up yet! They're valuable friends to us! We can't stop yet! We need them!"  
  
"The rest of the townsfolk have already given up hope but we can still go out and look for them. We'll do that in the morning, when we have some light to look by." Sanzo retreated to his room then.  
  
***  
  
Morning didn't seem to come the next day, do to an unbearably dark and unsightly layer of overcast plaguing the sky. Although the sun tried its hardest to penetrate the clouds, they did not give way and the entire day seemed as if night had gone into overtime.  
  
Sanzo was out looking up and down every street.  
  
Hakkai was at the sight where he had last seen Goku before he had mysteriously blacked out. He was able to move more freely now that a majority of the wounds he had endured were healing up nicely, even though his hand still stung and the cut on his forehead still burned.   
  
"Goku! Can you hear me?"  
  
He checked every tiny spot he could, behind buildings, trash bins, crates, everything; but there was still no sign of the teenager... or the half - breed.  
  
*End Chapter #11*  
  
Author Notes:  
  
[1] Ah, that was in FAKE. I love that anime... Ryo and Dee were out on the veranda and Dee's like, "Uh - oh... Shouldn't we drink to something?" If you can't get your hands on the DVD to watch (which you should), you should buy the manga, which TOKYOPOP is currently publishing.  
  
[2] Magic Knight Rayearth! Hikaru is so cute! Incase you don't get what the adorable Hikaru thing is about, well, when she gets into her chibi (super deformity) mode, she gets little kitty features, like ears. Really, really cute.  
  
Alright, I know that chapter really, really... REALLY stank. I know. I don't like it either. Actually, I don't even know why I'm doing this so... Oh, well. The second DVD of Gensomaden Saiyuki is now available in America. Best Buy sells it for $20.00.   
  
See you in the next (and hopefully way better) chapter! Chapter #12!  
  
Bye and remember to always watch your anime in Japanese!  
  
-Ja! 


	12. Relieved

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 12/?  
  
Rating: Chapter 1 - 8 : PG - 13  
  
Chapter 9 : R  
  
Chapter 10 - 12: PG - 13... -ish  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, etc. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi (for you people who don't speak Japanese, that's male/male relationships.... isn't it cute? *smiles*)  
  
No notes, whaddya know!  
  
Okie dokey! Chapter #12!  
  
________________  
  
Gojyo, what are you doing? You know you can hear him call out your name. Why aren't you moving? Are you too tired? Your lover is worried about you and you are too tired to come out and tell him you are alright? What would he say if you told him something like that; if you told him that you didn't feel like getting up and running to him? Aren't you concerned about the well-state of his mental being?   
  
Do you want to make him cry again?  
  
"No, it's not that...," Gojyo murmured to himself. "I really... can't move."  
  
The red - haired half - breed was completely buried underneath the rubble of, what used to be, a building, his skin ripped and splintered from the old, splitting wood, and the countless shards of broken glass around his unmoving form. He could feel the burning irritation of infection as it ate away at his sanity from the inside out and the metallic scent of blood that hung in the air was enough to make anyone double over and vomit. Gojyo didn't even have the strength to do that.   
  
"Aw, damn...," was all that the gambler could mumble as a sharp shard of glass that barely clung to a split wooden board fell from its place and delivered a severe cut to his upper shoulder.   
  
The smaller injuries had already begun to dry and scab over, but the larger ones tried, caked in blood and dirt; they only bled more. If he didn't move, there would be serious concequences...  
  
"Gojyo! Goku! Can you hear me?" It was Hakkai. "Can you guys hear me?"   
  
'That's it,' Gojyo thought. 'That's it, Hakkai. Come closer or you won't be able to hear me!'  
  
"Hakkai!" Sanzo called from about fifty yards away from down the street.   
  
"Have you found them?"  
  
"It's Goku!"  
  
'Damn...,' Gojyo's mind cursed repeatedly. He could hear the green - eyed demon's footsteps as they quickly died down as he sprinted down the street to the monk. It was like fleeting hope. Gojyo's stomach must have dropped because a sinking feeling consumed him right then and suddenly, his mind told him to give up all hope of being found there, under, what must have been, at least two feet of rubble, including wood, glass, and pieces of furniture.   
  
Despite the seriousness of the situation, the half - breed could not help but grin at the next thought that entered his head: With all of the constantly falling glass and boards, he was probably going to get sliced up before anyone found him.  
  
"Tch," Gojyo spat. 'Fine with me, but if I get castrated before I die, I'll be pissed.'  
  
Another long sliver of glass fell from a board above and landed smack dab in the middle of the scarlet - eyed man's ankle. Could have been pulled out, right? Sure, the what was unhealthy was that a board fell over then and broke the glass shard in two, trapping part of it underneath the skin.  
  
"God dammit!"  
  
***  
  
"Goku! Goku!"  
  
The boy was unmoving and being slightly propped up as Sanzo held him by the shoulders. His forehead was drenched in blood and it looked as if he might have cracked, or even broken his left arm. Not only that but some mysterious cause had nearly destroyed part of his waist, leaving it to bleed badly.   
  
'This doesn't look too good...,' the brunette contemplated. Hakkai looked at his own palm of one of his hands and began to form a small sphere of healing energy, then breathed in and out deeply.   
  
"Alright, let's see if I can help," the brunette murmured as he placed his hands just above the major injury on the teenager's side, then healing each one of the injuries as best as he could. "That's the best I can do for now...," the brunette said and placed a hand to his forehead.  
  
"Hakkai?" Sanzo asked.  
  
"I'm alright," the brunette waved it off. "I'm... just a little dizzy is all. I get that way after healing, you know." He stood up and brushed the dirt lightly from the knees of his pants before concluding, "We should get him medical attention before anything else happens."  
  
The monk nodded but twitched when he tried to pick the boy up, resulting in him stumbling several times.   
  
"Sanzo! Don't push yourself!" Hakkai recommended but was met with a smug remark of,  
  
"Just shut up. I'll get the monkey back to the medicals. You still need to look for Gojyo."  
  
"Are you sure that you and Goku will be alright? It's about a half - mile to the hospital."  
  
"Look for that kappa," Sanzo stated seriously. "I know that you want to. You need to."  
  
Inside, Hakkai was screaming, "Yes! Yes, I need to go and look for him!" but on the outside, he was murmuring unsurely, only fooling himself, "Yes, but..." He knew that if he showed strong compassion for Gojyo, that the blond and the teenager would know that he loved him, which, Hakkai would not mind accept for the fact that he would be a little embarassed, even though he didn't know for sure what of. He bit his bottom lip and squeezed his eyes shut.  
  
"You do love him... don't you?" Sanzo concluded, making his sentence more of a statement than a question.  
  
"W... What?"  
  
"You really do love Gojyo."  
  
Hakkai looked away, afraid to let the truth slip out that he was absolutely head - over - heels, crazily insane, over the moon and back, totally obssessed with the half - breed. The brunette's heart was screaming out that he loved Gojyo with all that he could but his mouth said differently... or it would have, but he gave it up right then.   
  
"Yes...," Hakkai answered truthfully. "Yes, I do... I love him. I love him so much."  
  
Sanzo was taken aback slightly, seeing as he was not expecting Hakkai to confess openly to him about it, but inside, he knew it all along.   
  
"He's my everything."  
  
"Hakkai... Go look for him."  
  
The brunette nodded and thanked the monk silently, part of himself still surprised that Sanzo seemed so open about the relationship between the healer and the gambler, and part of him sick with worry for the half - breed.   
  
Worried for Gojyo.  
  
Worried for Sanzo.  
  
Worried for Goku.  
  
Confused and Understanding.  
  
He turned and ran off in the opposite direction of the two other men and turned down another street, heading down to where the building had collapsed during the fight with the youkai. There was so much wood and glass and other miscellaneous objects, Hakkai had no idea how anybody would have survived underneath that pile of what used to be a building for as long as Gojyo had been under there. But Gojyo was not anybody; hell, no.   
  
And even though Hakkai's abdomen was scarred with sin and losing forbidden love, his gut told him that Gojyo was still under there.   
  
"Gojyo... Are you under there?" Hakkai asked, his voice just under the yelling mark. "Can you hear me...," he paused and he could feel inside of him that Gojyo's breath was dying. "Can you hear me... baby?"  
  
Gojyo would have cried then, if he had the strength to. Blood loss was making him dizzy and it was getting harder and harder for him to breath.   
  
"Gojyo, answer me!" Hakkai pleaded, his voice cracking in mid-sentence, almost giving way to a sob, but he choked it back and dove forward, pushing the wood and glass away, this way and that, even though he had no idea where the red - haired demon was. "Answer me, damn it!" He cursed when he realized that digging around aimlessly would get him nowhere.  
  
"Here...," Gojyo began. "I'm... right here."  
  
"Gojyo!"  
  
"Over here, Hakkai..."  
  
"Gojyo! Gojyo, can you move!?"  
  
"No..." The half - breed's voice cut off with a choking cough that made the brunette twitch. He ran as best as he could over to where he heard his lover's voice and began to lift and swat away the boards atop the large pile. A gasp escaped the healer's lips when he ran into the layer of boards and such that were covered in glass, and a lot of glass at that. he couldn't find his way through wherever he went. There was no alternative route; he would have to sift through the glass.   
  
He put his hand to a board and lifted it, cutting his palm a couple of times before he could put it down far to the side.  
  
The wound on his shoulder began to ache and bleed, seeing as he had reopened it with all of the movement that he had been doing; but to him, that was the least of his worries. He needed to help Gojyo... if he could at all.  
  
Another few boards were gone off to the side and Hakkai's hands burned with pain, but he kept going. Nothing could stop him now.  
  
One more board gone and Hakkai could see the azure blue of Gojyo's vest, with various worrying bloodstains scattered about the surface, and most likely, underneath it, also. He was there.   
  
More boards and glass gone and Hakkai's arms stung with blood and infection already; but he needed to save Gojyo.  
  
Everything gone and the brunette looked down on the scarlet - eyed demon before him, his clothes, not to mention skin, torn and bloodstained, his eyes barely able to keep themselves open, the usual burning bright fire in them slowly fading.   
  
"You can't move, baby?" the brunette murmured as he leant in closer to the other man.  
  
"No," Gojyo mouthed.   
  
"I'm going to have to move you." Hakkai situated his arms under Gojyo, one supporting his neck and shoulders and one underneath the back of his knees, but not before hearing a painful hiss from the gambler's lips from the pain of even being touched.   
  
There was glass absolutely everywhere on Gojyo's body, from cutting through his clothes to leaving deep cuts to small scratches around his face.   
  
He was placed on the ground as gently as possible, which still wasn't gentle enough, and Hakkai realized that because he had moved him, Gojyo had begun to bleed even more. Not only that but it looked like he had also passed out from blood loss.   
  
"Gojyo... I swear, if you die, I'll die, too," Hakkai murmured and, even though he knew that it was not the right time, he leant down and brushed his lips against the other demon's. Amazing. Absouley Amazing. His lips were as soft as they were before; no glass or cuts, just velvet soft, just like before.   
  
'If I move him again...,' Hakkai thought, 'he'll lose even more blood. I can heal him... but I have to get the glass out first, and fast.'  
  
"Gojyo, I need to get all of the glass out of your skin before I can heal you," Hakkai whispered, even though he knew that Gojyo probably could not hear him. "Please bear it. It will hurt."  
  
"Love you...," Gojyo mouthed as he choked and coughed again.   
  
Even through all of the pain and irritation, Gojyo still told the brunette that he loved him...  
  
"I love you, too... and we can make it through this."  
  
The last shard of glass was removed from Gojyo's right arm. Miraculously, there were no small pieces that had dug their way into the half - breed and Hakkai was glass for not having to push his way through the skin even more. The red - haired demon's arms were fine now. All that Hakkai really had to do now was get rid of that terrible shard in the gambler's ankle.   
  
He rolled up Gojyo's pant leg partially and pulled his boot off to get to the piece and put his fingers on the sides, the sharper-than-knife edges digging into his skin and splitting it, resulting in blood. Hakkai kept going, though. He pulled the huge shard out and held it out in front of him, and, luckily, it didn't look like it had splintered inside of Gojyo's leg. He threw the blood covered thing as far away as he could and then looked down to Gojyo again.   
  
Even though he still felt light - headed from healing Goku, Hakkai forced himself to heal Gojyo as best as he could.   
  
He leant over again and whispered in the other man's ear, "It's over now."  
  
"Thanks," Gojyo whispered, almost inaudible.  
  
"You're my everything..."  
  
Later on that evening, Gojyo was brought to the medical center and brought to the doctor emmidiately for care, leaving Hakkai to sit in worry and frustration in waiting for him, but when the nurse saw that Hakkai's lower arms and hands had been severely cut, he was treated also, but then sent home for rest, seeing as he was still dizzy from healing his comrades.  
  
The next week was full of pain, irritability, and bandages... lots and lots of bandages (not to mention physical therapy for pulled muscles, joints, etc.) But Gojyo still was not back from the hospital,which worried the brunette even more. He would have gone to visit but for some reason or another, the secretary would say that that would not be a worthy notion.  
  
So all that Hakkai really could do was lay in bed and wait for Gojyo. Staring at the ceiling and waiting.   
  
Someone called him down to lunch then. If he stayed in his room any longer, people would get the impression that he had become depressed, and he didn't want that.   
  
When arriving downstairs, he discovered that being injured and bandaged did not stop Goku from taking in all the food that he could like some gluttonous vacuum.   
  
"Goku, slow down!" Hakkai advised. "At the most, why don't you pace yourself?"  
  
Sanzo's head nearly hit the table from that remark. As usual, he was reading yesterday's paper with a hot cup of coffee in front of him and that same flat expression plastered on his face.  
  
"You gonna eat or just stand there and stare out the window?" Sanzo inquired.  
  
Oh, erm... I'm really not that hungry," Hakkai explained with a polite smile.  
  
"Ne, Hakkai, what ever happened to Gojyo?" Goku asked before stuffing another pork bun into his mouth.  
  
"He's still in the medical hospital."  
  
"How long is he gonna be in there? It's already been one week!"  
  
"I really don't know. It all depends on how long it takes him to heal up," the brunette answered and glanced at his own bandaged hands. "I'll be up in my room if anyone needs me." He left for upstairs.   
  
Upon arriving in his room, with the humongous window in front of the one-person bed, meaning that he had the perfect view of what it looked like outside, he could see that clouds were gathering into overcast and thunderheads once more.  
  
'How come it rains so much around here?' Hakkai thought. No matter. It was only sometime around four o'clock in the afternoon but the brunette went over to his bed and lay down, staring at the ceiling again, immersed deep in thought. His eyelids slipped shut reluctantly as he pulled the comforter over his body to shield himself from the wind that found its way in through the open window. It was then that he remembered just how wonderful it felt to be in Gojyo's arms, in the perfect warmth and protection. He felt like he had forever when he was with Gojyo.  
  
"Hope you come back soon, Gojyo...," Hakkai murmured quietly and then drifted off into sleep.   
  
"Hakkai?" A knock at the door. "Hakkai!" It was Goku.  
  
"Yes? What is it, Goku?" the brunette inquired as he sat up in bed, neverminding the fact that the teenager had woken him from his sleep.  
  
"I need to ask you something. Can I come in?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Goku opened the door and walked in, shutting it behind him and asking, as he leant against the barrier, "Do you like Gojyo?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I asked Sanzo if you still liked Gojyo and he said that you did." The boy paused then to take in a breath and explained further, "I asked what you said and he said that you said that you liked Gojyo."  
  
"Okay, okay, slow down," Hakkai laughed.   
  
"Do you?"  
  
"Well... yes. I do like him... I love him actually."  
  
"Really?" the teenager asked, almost in amazement, as his eyes grew larger.  
  
"Yes." Hakkai averted his eyes to the floor, seeing as he found that he was not able to look at anyone when he was explaining this. "I really love him. He's everything to me now and I'm so worried about him."  
  
"Wow," Goku murmured, just about astonished. The brunette smiled back at the boy but he advanced, "What exactly does that mean?"  
  
"What does what mean?"  
  
"You love him so... What exactly does that mean?" Goku asked, giving emphasis to the last word in the sentence.  
  
"Well... It's like a feeling that I want him to come and wrap his arms around me and hold me when I'm feeling sad or kiss me when it looks like I need it. It's a stronger relationship than friendship, but it still feels like it sometimes... Do you understand now?"  
  
"Yes!" Goku nodded but stopped suddenly. "No..." He shook his head.  
  
"You can go and ask Sanzo. I heard all about that dream he had about somebody named Homura. He might tell you."  
  
"'Kay," Goku said and opened the door to leave.   
  
The clock on the table next to the bed said six forty-three PM. He hadn't slept for very long. Sighing to himself, he lay back down after shutting the door and looked out the window. The clouds still cast overcast and blocked out the sun's rays from reaching the ground. It hadn't rained yet but the humid smell of it hung in the air.   
  
He wondered if his hands had gotten any better after that horrible glass incident. Unravelling the bandages and placing them onto the small table next to the bed, he saw that they were still red with dried blood, but good enough so as not to split back open.   
  
Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep again.  
  
The brunette woke with a start. A quick glance around the room and nothing had changed. A strange feeling in his chest caused him to wake. Even in his dream, it told him to wake, although it quickly eluded his memory until it was forgotten.  
  
The creaking floorboards... someone was coming upstairs. There was a light outside, which shone underneath the door but a figure stepped in front of it, causing shadows that were visible from the other side of the door. Hakkai's muscles tightened. He knew those footsteps.   
  
The door opened.  
  
There in the doorway stood the half - breed, bandaged here and stitched there, but amazingly, he was able to walk.  
  
"Hey...," Gojyo greeted softly with a tender smile to the brunette sitting in the bed on the other side of the room. "Well, I'm pretty weak but I think I can withstand a hug." He lifted his arms up slightly.  
  
The human - turned - youkai pushed the covers off of him hastely and stood up, almost disbelieving that it was Gojyo that was in front of him. He took one step toward the gambler then ran right into his arms, pulling him as close as he could without hurting him.   
  
Gojyo had to take a step backward to steady himself from when Hakkai ran ro him, but he put his arms aroumd the other man the same as he always would and he ran a hand through his thick mahogany hair, just as he always would.   
  
Suddenly, they found themselves craving each other's lips more than they had ever before and, despite all of the injuries he had taken, Gojyo tilted Hakkai's head upward to look at him and he pressed his lips to the healer's, seeking out all of the flavors that he had tasted those countless times when they had kissed before.  
  
They separated, breathing slightly harder and clutching desperately onto each other, all up until Gojyo winced slightly, causing Hakkai to remove his arms from around the other demon almost completely.   
  
"Gojyo, I'm sorry!" Hakkai apologized quickly and put his hands gently onto one of the red - haired man's arms and motioned toward the bed. "Why don't you lay down?"  
  
He nodded and sat down on the edge, his legs touching the floor, as Hakkai sat next to him.  
  
"I'm glad you're alright," Hakkai explained with a warm - hearted smile. "I was so worried about you."  
  
"Mm, and why's that?" Gojyo asked sarcastically, winking at him, as he leaned back and lay down onto the cold sheets of the bed.   
  
The healer stood up and walked over to the door, shutting it, and, as he turned around to face the other man, he murmured, "Because I love you... with all that I can." He walked back over to the bed and sat down again, causing the weight on the matress to shift slightly and Gojyo winced at the movement of the sheets against his wounds.   
  
"Ah! Shit!" Gojyo cursed and put one hand over a huge bandaged gash near the back of his shoulder.  
  
Hakkai's hands flew over his mouth. "I'm sorry! Oh, my, why didn't you stay in the hospital until you were healed?"  
  
Gojyo forced a smile through the pain. "Because I couldn't wait any longer to see you, baby."  
  
The brunette blushed bright red.   
  
"Hakkai?"  
  
"Yes?" He leant over. They were mere inches apart when the scarlet - eyed demon asked, with somewhat of a childish look,  
  
"You know, I bet you can kiss it and make it better."  
  
Both of them broke out in fits of laughter... all up until the same wound on Gojyo's shoulder began to ache again.   
  
"Gojyo! Where does it hurt?"   
  
"Right here," he answered and motioned toward the wound on the back of his shoulder. The brunette leant forward slightly nd pressed his lips lightly to the bandage as Gojyo had suggested. "You know...," Gojyo began, "it hurts right here, too." He pointed to a spot on his forehead. Hakkai kissed that, too. He smiled down at Gojyo and moved his arms so that one hand was next to the other demon's head on either side, supporting his weight, but not on the half - breed at all.   
  
"Where else does it hurt?" Hakkai whispered.  
  
"My lips are burning, baby," the red - haired man murmured back, closing his eyes as Hakkai leant down and pressed his lips to Gojyo's, feeling no need to have the usual problem of pushing each other's lips open, as he slipped his tongue inside Gojyo's mouth. "Mm, babe, you taste so good...," Gojyo whispered seductively between kisses.   
  
The green - eyed demon slowly and reluctantly pulled back, causing their lips to part as they locked their eyes.   
  
"You feel better, now?" Hakkai smiled.  
  
"Much better...," was Gojyo's response as he pulled the older man down for another kiss as their tongues twisted inside their mouths and their hands explored each other's bodies gently. Hakkai's fingertips graced the skin over Gojyo's shoulders, back, and chest with feather - soft touches and a slight tickling sensation that made the half - breed pull the brunette to him, chest to chest, despite the pain of the cuts and bruises that he had endured.   
  
"Mm, Hakkai, I love you," Gojyo breathed as Hakkai gently kissed the unmarked spots of Gojyo's neck, careful not to brush against a bandage by accident.   
  
"I love you, too," the human-turned-youkai murmured back with somewhat of delight as he found an unbruised portion of tanned skin on Gojyo's neck and pressed his lips to it hard, causing the half - breed to cry out slightly in surprise. Hakkai opened his mouth and let his tongue run along the, now seating, flesh, surprising Gojyo immensely.   
  
He cried out the healer's name when he straddled his hips carefully and leant forward to lock their lips in an even more passionate, loving kiss than before.   
  
Gojyo's wounds were now only a tributary in his thoughts, the main flow being Hakkai, the beauty above him, sucking his tongue out of his mouth and into his own. The scarlet - eyed man rose his arms up and wrapped them around Hakkai's lower back, just above his ass, and let one hand travel up underneath his shirt.  
  
Both men were oblivious of the slightly creaking boards of the floor and the small figure that peeked into the room from the crack between the door and doorway once it was opened.   
  
'Sanzo hit me once I asked him about that!' Goku pondered as the door slowly opened to Hakkai's room. 'I still don't understand! I guess maybe I can ask Hakkai again. I sure don't wanna ask Gojyo... He'll hit me, too!'  
  
But what the teenager found in the room was not what he had expected at all. Gojyo and Hakkai were in the bed, kissing as if their lives depended on it, Gojyo's hands working Hakkai's shirt off and Hakkai's hands tangled in the half - breed's crimson red hair.   
  
"Hakkai!? Gojyo!?"  
  
***  
  
"Alright, now, Goku...," Sanzo began back in his and the teenager's room. "What exactly did you see?"  
  
Goku twitched at the command to put it into words. "Uh... Well... They were kissing... And Gojyo's hands were... like... up Hakkai's shirt."  
  
"Wonderful," Sanzo mumbled sarcastically. "They put locks on those doors for a reason!" He stomped and rose the level of his voice so that the brunette and red-head could hear him in the other room.   
  
Gojyo and Hakkai both sat there on the edge of the bed... on opposite sides, both looking like punished children caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Gojyo was twittling his thumbs and mumbling numerous curses at the monk. Something of, "Why's it any of yer buisness?" and "Did the monkey ever learn how to knock?"  
  
Hakkai sat the same way with his hands on his lap and his head bowed in embarassment.   
  
"Baby?" Gojyo whispered, so the monk and ape in the next room couldn't hear them. "Are you ashamed?"  
  
"What?" Hakkai snapped to, shaking his head slightly, as if breaking free of a trance.   
  
"Are you ashamed?"  
  
"N-no, Gojyo. Whatever gave you that idea?"  
  
"You are, aren't you?" Gojyo concluded and edged himself toward the healer bit by bit until he was close enough to wrap his arms around him.   
  
"Gojyo..."  
  
"It's alright," Gojyo whispered into Hakkai's ear. "If what we've got is good enough for me, then it should be good enough for the whole world."  
  
"You're right," Hakkai agreed and leant against Gojyo's shoulder gently so as not to put too much pressure on the coutless bandages on the gambler's body. He shut his eyes and fell asleep in the half-breed's arms, despite the fact that the door to their room was wide open and anyone who was passing by could surely see the two men sharing the embrace. Sweet dreams.  
  
'...it should be good enough for the whole world.'  
  
*End Chapter #12*  
  
Author Notes:  
  
None really. Look forward to Chapter #13! Hopefully, you'll review with something good. If you have any constructive criticism, please put it in there but be nice... I take lots of things said about my writing and my art very seriously and straight to heart. Suggestions for what you guys think should happen later should be made! If you have any ideas, review and tell me!   
  
-Ja ne! 


	13. Apart

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 13/?  
  
Rating: Chapter 1 - 8 : PG - 13  
  
Chapter 9 : R  
  
Chapter 10 - 12: PG-13  
  
Chapter 13: PG-13  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, etc. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi (for you people who don't speak Japanese, that's male/male relationships.... isn't it cute? *smiles*)  
  
I am so, so, so, so sorry that this chapter took so freaking long. I've started school again just recently and due to homework, the only real time I have for writing is on the weekends and on those few occasions that I'm absent from school. Weekends.... Well, Chro is online on weekends and she's my best online buddy. *waves* Yep, right now, I'm sick at home and typing this while watching that Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock music video... Come on, people, laugh!  
  
Chapter #13  
  
_____________  
  
After the constant whining and complaining from Goku, the monk finally decided to give in to his request, which was, unusually, one that had absolutely nothing to do with food. The youth was under the impression that Gojyo was doing something totally inappropriate (and quite frankly, he was, but that's what locks are for) and even though Hakkai explained that it was perfectly alright with him that Gojyo was laying there with him, Sanzo decided to get the two lovers separate rooms.  
  
"Look, just put up with it until Goku shuts up, alright!?" Sanzo yelled, the vein protruding from his forehead like it did when he always became upset.   
  
***  
  
"Uhm... Sanzo! What's wrong?" Shi inquired as she saw the monk sitting at one of the tables of the bar one late afternoon by himself, his fingers on either side of his forehead, rubbing his temples to try his best to prevent the migraine that was sure to be creeping up on him. "Sanzo?"  
  
"Shut up, already," he growled. "I just have a headache. Get away."  
  
"Do you need anything?"  
  
"Shut up...!"  
  
"I'll get you some aspirin." The girl ran off with a bounce in her step, popping into the back room where only employees of the bar were allowed, and came back out with water and medicine. "Just take these."  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone!?" Sanzo cried and slammed a fist over the top of the table, causing the glass and two pale pink pills to rattle somewhat.  
  
"What's got you so pissed?"  
  
"You just can't take a hint!"  
  
"Never been able to. What's wrong?"  
  
He sighed and finally decided that, maybe, if he told her, she would be able to be shooed away. "It's just that damned monkey and his constant whining."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"He walked in on...," but he stopped there, realizing that, even with the seemingly cold heart that he had been given, the two lovers still back at the hotel may not want their relationship going public.  
  
"I already know," Shi broke in.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I know that they're together," she said, making reference to the half-breed and former teacher.   
  
"You leaving now?" Sanzo growled under his breath.   
  
"Guess so," she answered with the same amount of irritation and annoyance in her voice.  
  
Sanzo looked to the aspirin and water. His headache had worsened.  
  
***  
  
Hakkai walked silently into the room that was only his now. Sanzo had said that they were not to see each other for the entire day.   
  
He heaved a huge, long sigh from his lungs and walked over to the bed, taking a seat over the edge of the stone cold sheets over the mattress. Again, they had been rejected. It didn't really matter that Goku was the one with the strange look on the healer and kappa's relationship but the worst scene that the teenager saw was that two of his best friends were in love, not that they were two men.   
  
He looked out the window. Overcast. 'Come to think of it...,' Hakkai thought. 'It's been raining for the past few days straight!' So... if he and Gojyo were not to see each other until dawn tomorrow, what would he do now?  
  
He looked out the window again to the passing dark ashen clouds, hurrying across the sky, similar to that of smoke eminating from some huge fire in the far distance. The movements resembled smoke, but they moved slower than that. The sun had made its attempt to peek through the clouds, trying its hardest to bring light to the earth, but after a futile struggle, the blanket of clouds enshrouding the ususally blue sky grew thicker, blocking out the sun's rays.   
  
A faint sound of a voice came from what sounded like behind him all of a sudden. It wasn't anything such as mystical or requiring inquiry but someone else's voice being drowned out and muffled by something.   
  
***  
  
"Do you understand now!?" Sanzo exclaimed through gritted teeth as his hand clenched into a fist, preparing to direct the threat to the boy sitting in front of him, causing him the frustration.  
  
"Uh... no," Goku answered somewhat hesitantly, seeing that his questions were going to get nothing but a beating with that fan of Sanzo's.   
  
Sanzo growled, partially at the teenager across from him, and partially at himself for trying to explain what one feels in the difference between friendship and love.   
  
"Grr... alright," the monk began. "You've been walking down the street before and you see some girl or something," he waved it off," and you think, 'Maybe I should talk to her? She looks nice.'" He paused. "Get it? It's an 'attraction.'"  
  
"I don't get it," Goku butted in. "And you sounded like Gojyo when you said that 'Maybe I should talk to her?' stuff."  
  
"You know what!?" Sanzo exclaimed and rose from his seat at the table and drew his fan from his sleeve, letting it to decend upon Goku's cranium over and over again. Of course, our favorite murdering priest never found the sound of a paper fan against our favorite saru or kappa's heads to become redundant. "Go talk to Gojyo about this!" He stopped suddenly and thought about the words that he had just let escape from his lips. When he considered the fact that Gojyo would probably just go into detail about how he wanted to have sex with Hakkai, the blond reconsidered sending the boy to the red - haired half - breed and simply stomped upstairs, heading toward his room.   
  
"Sanzo!" Goku called after him, following up the steps that led from the kitchen and dining room to the inn rooms on the top floor. "I still don't understand!"  
  
"Then buy yourself a fucking dictionary! I'm through playing teacher!" Sanzo yelled back from behind the closed door to his room.  
  
The teenager sulked and headed downstairs to the nearly empty eating room near the kitchen, the only other people in it besides him being a few middle - aged men looking to play cards for bottlecaps or some other cheap items.   
  
Sanzo had suggested going to ask Gojyo. Goku rejected the suggestion immediately. Even he knew that Gojyo would say or do something wrong like let something false or secret slip out or just haul off and hit him! And he had already tried going to Hakkai for answers. Basically, he was out of options.   
  
He sat down at the table in the kitchen.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" Shi asked from behind the teenager. "Jeez, everyone is so down today!" She smiled.  
  
***  
  
"Ah, man!" Gojyo exclaimed, running a hand through his hair in frustration as he went over to the bed and nearly collapsed onto the sheets. 'Crap, it's hot!' He kicked off his boots and let them land in some miscellaneous spot next to the bed. Removing his headband and azure denim vest and setting them over the headboard of the bed, he let a long sigh escape his lungs.   
  
He stare up at the ceiling now, caught in deep thought about a shallow subject. He laughed to himself and got back up off of the bed, seeing as the sheets were not as cool as when he first lay down, and made his way to the other side of the room to retrieve a book of "Under The Glass Moon" from his travel bag, which was sitting atop a rather high night stand, but suddenly found himself immersed in thought once again. [1]  
  
If he and Hakkai were not really bothering anyone else unless they walked in on them, then what was the point of punishing them by puting them in separate rooms?   
  
He shrugged, but once he did, the distraction provided by thought had separated him from the physical world and his bag fell over onto his bare foot, the spare can of beer that he had hidden in one of the smaller pockets slamming, edge first, into his toes.  
  
"Ah! Dammit!" he cursed, quite loudly, grabbing at the bag frustratedly and fell back over onto his bed on the other side of the room, forgetting his book and deciding just to try his best to fall asleep early. "Shit."  
  
"Gojyo?" an all too familiar voice inquired from, what seemed like, nowhere in the room.   
  
"What?"  
  
"Gojyo, is that you?" it asked again.  
  
"What in the...?" Gojyo got up from his bed and walked over to the part of the room where he thought the voice to be coming from: a bare spot in the corner of the room, behind his bed. He settled himself down between the wall and the mattress with a little moving space to spare, and knocked on the wall once, and was responded to by another knock. "Hakkai?"  
  
"Gojyo?" Gojyo could hear the smile in Hakkai's voice. "This part of the wall is so thin, we can hear each other easily." [2]  
  
"Tch!" Gojyo laughed. "Luck would have it, huh?"  
  
"Yes." Hakkai nodded to himself. He put his fingertips to the thin part in the wall without a sound and paused, wondering if he should let his thoughts slip through his lips in words. He bit his bottom lip. He wanted to ask Gojyo. He wanted to ask him if what someone had said was true. "Gojyo?"  
  
"Eh?"   
  
"Do you remember... that woman at the bar? The one with the group that... didn't accept what we were?"  
  
"Baby, I don't ever want you to listen to that kind of shit. Don't take crap from anyone if you don't want to. They can't make you do anything."  
  
"Yes, but I just... want to ask you something."  
  
"Hakkai, you sound nervous. You can talk to me about anything anytime anywhere."  
  
The brunette heaved a huge sigh and managed a smile. "Do you remember when that woman said that all gay men wanted was gay sex with... other gay men?" It was obvious that Hakkai did not appreciate the language that he had to quote upon, but his tone trembled as he continued, "I know that we are in love. Deeply. But..."   
  
"But what, baby?"  
  
"Do you... want to have sex with me?" Hakkai's voice nearly cracked at the end of the inquiry, but the rest of his body froze as a silence settled over the other man on the other side of the wall. "Gojyo?"  
  
"I love you, so I'll tell you the truth." He could hear the brunette inhale. "I do. I love you so much, Hakkai, but sex is not the only thing that love can be about... right? You tell me."  
  
The former teacher's lips curved into a warm smile. "No. Love is not just a sexual relationship."  
  
"Exactly. Before I met you, I never really was in a romantic relationship. Sure... There was a woman that I loved... But she hated me. All of the other women were just for sex. But that was all before I found you on that horribly rainy night. Because of you, I finally know what it's like to love and be loved. And if you aren't ready yet, I can wait until you are... for when we make love."  
  
"Make love...," Hakkai whispered to himself as a memory of the first night he had made love to his beloved sister came back to him.   
  
"You do know...," Gojyo laughed,"just that sooner or later, it'll come."  
  
"Yes..." Hakkai could feel his curiosity grow as he imagined exactly what one of the things that Gojyo wanted was: To have the most intimate moment of your life and share it with another person, to be united in an orgasm, to be united in love, give extreme pleasure to one another. Gojyo wanted to push himself inside of Hakkai. He wanted Hakkai.   
  
Of course, neither of them had had sex with another man before. Gojyo had thought about going up to his room with another man just to explore a curious field never before breached, but he always denied the fact that his sexuality may be a little more complex than he had first expected. But living together with Hakkai for three entire years and then travelling with him and his companions on top of that, Gojyo found himself admitting that he had changed and that the brunette had changed him. Over those years, when Gojyo would secretly watch Hakkai sleep, his affection would grow. Sex may have been something casual for the gambler, but with Hakkai, it would be unforgettable, even if it didn't end in ecstacy but in a failure.   
  
It would be different. Hakkai gave a small chuckle that only he could hear. 'It would be different.' Something about the way he put it to words in his mind hit his humorous side for some reason.   
  
The brunette wondered what exactly it would be like to be joined in love with Sha Gojyo. He guessed that Gojyo would be initiating everything, pretty much like always. And, as we may have all already assumed, Hakkai had never had anal sex before.   
  
"Well...," Gojyo concluded suddenly as a rustle was heard as he stood up and patted the dust from the floor off of his pants. "I'm gonna take a shower. I have to go out tonight."  
  
"Don't come home drunk, Gojyo," Hakkai advised, the false smile easily heard in his voice.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know." The red-haired youkai smiled and rummaged through his bag for an extra pair of clothes as he placed his fingertips to the doorknob. "I'll see you later, Hakkai."  
  
"Good-bye."  
  
***  
  
"Well, well, well!" A young voice began as Gojyo travelled his way down the steps, a damp towel over his red silken locks, drying them from his shower. "Going out, Gojyo?" Shi asked. Gojyo stopped suddenly and stared at the girl with her bandana and closed eyes in smile. Gojyo stopped to stare at her for a moment, pausing in thought yet he was forced to shake himself out of it due to the fact that he was in public.  
  
"Oh! Looks like the zaru has gotten himself a girlfriend!" Gojyo teased once he saw Shi and Goku sitting at the table together.   
  
"Girlfriend? What?" Goku exclaimed, flailing his arms this way and that. "What what what?"  
  
"Whatever. I gotta hurry," Gojyo explained as he finished drying his hair and placed the somewhat wet cotton towel in the basket next to the stairway. "I have an errand to run and I want to get it done quick." "Sure," Shi began in somewhat of a sarcastic tone. "I'm surprised Hakkai is not with you."   
  
"Wah...!?"  
  
"O-o-oh!" Goku cried out and shot his chair back, standing up straight and pointing at Gojyo.   
  
"Try keeping that hole you call a mouth closed, bakazaru!"  
  
***  
  
The blonde sat at the windowsil, one leg resting on the windowsil, itself, and the other thrown to the inside of the building, bestowing the monk with a nearly perfect view of the moon, its light falling upon his part of the planet and granting an ominous glow to all that ventured into the night. An eerie silence was present among the land as Sanzo let a sigh escape his lungs, mixing with the heavily humidified air of the late evening sky.   
  
An extremely light breeze blew across the horizon, just lightly breathing against Sanzo's skin as he sat in his black body suit. Despite how soft the feather light wind was, the monk still shivered.   
  
He looked to the moon that hung almost loosely and unsurely in the air as a fit of dizziness suddenly claimed his mind. His head felt heavy and he rose one hand up to his forehead.  
  
"Ugh... What the...?"   
  
A painful nausia cascaded over his insides as he clutched his stomach and doubled over, falling inward purposly so as not to tumble out of the window. The attack seemed to cease as his breathing could be heard in light gasps. 'What in the world...?'  
  
***  
  
Hakkai returned back to his room with large bag in hand of which he set on his bed and began to unpack the contents of. Previously, he had dropped off a few bags at Sanzo and Goku's room that contained a few pairs of extra clothes, seeing as they had only had a few ever since the bag with many of their garments had been left in the other town. Sanzo didn't seem himself for one reason or another, but investigating further into Sanzo's thoughts usually ended up with several slaps to the head with the fan and countless insults...to everyone.   
  
It was late at night by now, most likely around eleven or eleven-thirty into the evening and the sun had set long before he had returned.   
  
He felt exhausted now, seeing as he had been walking around the town all day, picking up the needed necessities and other miscellaneous commodities. Of course, he had gotten used to it and, unfortunately, had also gotten used to pushing himself just to please others.   
  
He finally felt the soreness of his feet become the slightest bit too much for him and he decided to, instead of finishing unpacking his bag, have a sit onto the end of the bed and let out a rather long sigh as he removed his shoes and began to feel sleep consume his consciousness. He reached back, put the bag on the floor next to the bed and moved up to the pillow to lay his head down.  
  
'Come to think of it...,' Hakkai thought, 'even though I walked all around town, I did not see Gojyo anywhere...!' But despite his concern for his sensual lover, he felt that speeding around the town all day left his body completely spent and his muscles sore. 'I do hope he's alright...'  
  
It seems as though a few hours had already passed and Hakkai felt his eyes slowly open to a still dark scenery, just as blue and black as when he had fallen asleep first. Then he discovered just what had woken him up: the window had been opened and the wind blowing and billowing inside was absolutely freezing. Still, there was no sign of Gojyo.   
  
It was at this point that Hakkai's concern escalated.  
  
*End Chapter #13*  
  
_________________  
  
Bah, I don't blame you wonderful readers if you're still angry with me. *cry* Sorry. School's been murder so far.   
  
Read next chaper, please! Oh, yes, and I finally have my scanner up and working so if you want to see any of my fanart, you can either go to my gallery or e-mail me. (Fanart page: http://www.deviantart.com/tokitoh)  
  
[1] "Under The Glass Moon" is a Korean manga series by Ku Ya-Seong. I just thought that I could see Gojyo reading something of this genre for some reason, so I figured, hey what the hell?  
  
[2] This idea... I dunno. I'm such a sucker for Gojyo x Hakkai romance that even when they get in trouble by Sanzo, they still get to be with each other. Anyway, I was playing The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64) and there was this part in it where you need to earn this certain mask and to do that, you need to find out certain information on people, make certain events happen, and yadda yadda. This one was hard though. Any of you out there that have played it know what I am talking about: The Couple's Mask. *cringe* It drove me insane. But you get to spy on people! *evil grin* Actually, you hear voices coming from a thin part in a hotel wall and you can listen in on the other people in the room next to your's, so that's where that came from.  
  
You...guys...must...HATE ME NOW! Goddammit, I feel HORRIBLE for delaying these updates so FUCKING long! SHIT!!!   
  
Hakkai: Note~Toki may say "Goddammit" but she is an aethiest. o_^  
  
Yeah.... The whole "God" thing is reflex 'cause I've always been fooling myself in thinking that there was one. Oh, come on, guys, if you're offended by my not having religion, why are you reading something that involves that whole homosexuality sweetness bit? *pokes religious freaks* Isn't it a sin? I don't get that. *now begins to poke a bible* Heh... I don't get anything. Hey!! *reads her reviews* That's a great idea! *pokes bible with a stail breadstick* Heheh. Freedom of religion, er, whatever. Screw the world!! ^_^  
  
-Toki (a.k.a. YOUR AUTHOR) P.S. I died! That's why it took so long! I'm a freaking zombie now! And I'm falling apart!!! I can't type when I'm falling apart, can I?! *ebil cackle* 


	14. Nightmare

Title: Born to Be My Baby  
  
Author: ¤Sha¤GojyoxCho¤Hakkai¤  
  
Date: Began March, 2003  
  
Chapter: 13/?  
  
Rating: Chapter 1 - 8 : PG - 13  
  
Chapter 9 : R  
  
Chapter 10 - 14: PG - 13  
  
Category: Romance, Angst, Language, Blood and the like  
  
Main Pairing: Gojyo x Hakkai  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki. All characters, names, etc. are copyrighted to Minekura Kazuya.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai/yaoi (for you people who don't speak Japanese, that's male/male relationships.... isn't it cute? *smiles*)  
  
*bashing self with frying pan* Grr.. I'm still angry with myself for waiting so long to put these chapters up... But what can I say? I've had a shitload of homework and everyone is saying that all that preparation shit for high school starts in eighth grade. *twitch twitch* They say they're preparing me for high school... My ass.  
  
I NOW HAVE MY OWN FANART PAGE:   
  
http://tokitoh.deviantart.com/   
  
Please go and check out my fanarts if you like my fanfictions. ^^ Go there n look for my Gojyo x Hakkai fluffies and naughties... Heeeheehee. Merry Christmas, everyone!!! I am relying strictly on Mountain Dew and cold coffee to keep me awake through this chapter... You better like it! (Caffeine...... need....more....caffeine........)  
  
Alright, enough blab, on with the show!!   
  
_______________________  
  
Chapter 14/?  
  
"Well, here's your pay for the day, Sha," a middle - aged woman spoke from behind the counter as she handed the half - breed an elvelope that felt full to the brim of hard work.   
  
"Thanks a bunch," Gojyo said as he opened the package and took a quick glance into it and with a smile of satusfaction at his earnings, he continued, "and I'll see you tomorrow, Mir."  
  
"Sure thing! Hey, wait a minute, Gojyo."  
  
"Hn?" The red - haired man turned around from inside of the doorway. "Yeah, what is it?"  
  
"You showed up here pretty suddenly and you've got some work ethic," Mir explained, scratching the back of her head. "If you don't mind me asking, just what is it that you're planning on using that money for?"  
  
"Aah, it's something for... someone special to me," Gojyo stated, beaming as he placed the envelope of his day's earnings snugly into his pant pocket.  
  
"Do tell."  
  
"Well, I can't tell you exactly what I'm getting, but... Tch, nevermind." The demon smirked. "See you later."  
  
"'Kay, then." Mir rose her hand to wave as Gojyo stepped out into the deep night with a heavy sigh and warm smile.   
  
"Alright," the half - breed whispered to himself softly. "Yatou's Dinner Serve at eight. It's... about nine. That means work at Reshitsu's Bar."   
  
***  
  
Hakkai...  
  
'Nn? What? I... I can't feel my body.'  
  
Hakkai...!  
  
'Who's calling my name? Their voice is so harsh.'  
  
Wake up, Hakkai...  
  
'Stop calling me. You sound angry and I'm not in the mood to deal.'  
  
Wake up or I'll call you by your other name...  
  
'My what!?' Hakkai's eyes shot open to a view of the hotel ceiling, the same as when he had fallen asleep in the first place. 'But... Who was calling me just now?'  
  
"So... You're finally awake."  
  
"Who...," the brunette turned his head to the side, where the currently unknown person had sat. The man by his bedside let out a snicker that rang through his throat and transformed into a toothy grin. "You... What are you doing here!?" Hakkai's entire body began to shake, and he wanted to move; he wanted to stand and beat the other man senseless; but he couldn't feel anything at the moment. If he could have, he knew that his hands would have become fists and they would tremble with an anger so intense, the burning of the brightest star would not compare to the rage that would flare within.   
  
"Aw, you sound so disappointed to see me."  
  
"What...the... FUCK are you doing here!?"  
  
"I've heard that tone before...," the youkai chuckled with an obscene smirk accented by the disturbingly sensual lick of his lips. "I've been looking for you."  
  
"I... killed you," Hakkai spoke in trembling words as his pupils became smaller as realization set in. "I killed you... twice before."  
  
"Silly."  
  
"Shut up...," he murmured as he tried to close his eyes. Now his entire body was paralyzed. 'Shut up...'  
  
"I only came back..."  
  
'Shut up.'  
  
"... Because I love you."  
  
The green - eyed human turned youkai's eyes would not shut, yet he felt his sight slowly drifting away from him as the scenery continued to darken and fade into a nonexistant world. But the image of that demon would not fade; it refused to leave his mind. The trauma was unbelievable. Hakkai felt wave after wave of nausia wash over him from his head to his feet in trembling breaks. 'No! Your's is not love!'  
  
Suddenly the able one reached forward with a clawed hand and placed two fingers over Hakkai's eyes, one over each. His other hand secretly wove it's way around to Hakkai's left ear where his earcuffs resided and ran a fingernail over them. He smirked and opened his mouth to say something but he stopped himself as if he knew what was coming next:  
  
"Hakkai!!" A desperately familiar tone rang through the room as Gojyo burst through the door, breaking the lock by use of his elbow and a good running start. "By the Gods...," he murmured in horror once he saw just who it was that had binded Hakkai to the bed and was sitting at his bedside.   
  
"How unpleasant...," the demon spoke as he stood and faced Hakkai completely. "You would not want to miss this, now would you?"  
  
'What is he talking about?'   
  
The healer's body began to move without his consent as he stood up and next to the other demon.   
  
A horrifying cackle trailed behind the other as he approached Gojyo and as the gambler lunged forward to deliver a worthy punch to the other's jaw, his choked scream of pain echoed through Hakkai's mind like a rock's drop down a canyon.   
  
When Hakkai's thoughts yielded to his sight, he began to see just what had happened. Gojyo had been impaled through his chest by the other youkai. Blood poured over the floor, spreading across the wooden surface with a sickening splash.  
  
"Isn't this it?" he snickered. "Isn't this how you killed me the last time?"  
  
"G...Gojyo..."  
  
The crimson that emitted from the half-breed's body was more crimson than any other blood he had seen. More scarlet red than any of the other youkai's blood that he had slain those few years back. Redder than his hair and redder than his eyes, which were slowly losing their fire as his mouth formed his last words:  
  
"Hakkai... Baby... "  
  
"My word," the taller one remarked. "Wouldn't this blood look lovely covering you... Cho Gonou?"  
  
"Chin Iisou!"  
  
The healer's eyes flashed open with the speed of a hummingbirds wings, his pupils dialating and his breathing coming in more heaving gasps than ever felt before in any battle or other nightmare. Horrifying shock was still filtering out of his body in the form of sweat as his focus blurred and resharpened repeatedly. Impossible.  
  
"A... dream. Oh, thank the Gods it was all just a dream"  
  
A stinging, gashing feeling became urgently present on his cheek near his left ear. It felt similar to a paper cut but triply deeper and whatever made the incision was still embedded into his cheek. He reached up with trembling fingers to retrieve a single thread like material, which he held out in front of him for further examination, upon which he realized that it was no thread, but a hair. A single lake-blue hair.  
  
He choked at the smell of blood that suddenly filled his lungs as he lunged forward into a poor-postured sitting position.   
  
"This punishment is so... repellent."  
  
Gentle thuds could be heard outside of the healer's room as his attention became focused on the mahogany door across from his bed. But the brunette's muscles never bothered to tighten when the other youkai stepped into the room, after the craking door was sent ajar about half way; nor did his attention fully focus on said youkai when he murmured his name in a manner of worry and exhaustion.  
  
"Hakkai?" Goku inquired, rubbing his eye with one hand, a blanket clenched in his other, neverminding the fact that he had been dragging it across the dusty wooden floor the entire time: the exact image of a child when he woke from his sleep in need of a cold glass of water.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"What do you mean, Goku?" the healer querried through falsly beaming lips. "And what are you doing up in the middle of the night?"  
  
"I woke up 'cause I heard you screaming in your sleep, like someone was hurting you."  
  
"Oh, it was just a nightmare is all," he replied, waving it off as if it were nothing, when, infact, he knew that it was one of the most disturbing dreams that he had ever had. "Go back to bed, Goku. We should be heading out to the next town tomorrow..." He nearly trailed off on that mentioning, seeing as he had not seen Gojyo for quite a while, and he hoped that he would be able to see him before then.  
  
"Alright," Goku sighed tiredly as he walked toward the door. "'Night, Hakkai."   
  
"Good night."  
  
***  
  
About two hours passed and Hakkai felt no sleep come to him as he still lay awake in his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, almost afraid to fall back asleep due to the dream that he had had just a few hours ago. He sighed to himself as he forced himself up and over to the window to open it, and did successfully after a small struggle with the window lock. Pushing half of his body out of the window and turning his head both ways to expect the dimly lit streets of the now tranquil town, he found nothing on the move accept for the occasional cloud of dust that the wind kicked up, nonchalantly pushing it down the road until the breezes died.   
  
The green - eyed demon blinked hard as he felt the exhaustion and need for sleep take over his body and he muffled a yawn with one of his hands as he folded his arms and placed them on the windowsill, laying his head over his arms and simply staring blankly at the uninterestingly homely roads. His eyelids felt as if they were continuously gaining more and more weight as he finally let his eyes drift shut.   
  
Due to his nervous and unsettled state, he finally fell into a deeper state of slumber a little over an hour later, still leaning on the windowsill; yet he could still hear the howling of the gales outside and the seldom rustle of some animal in the streets, most likely a stray cat or dog.   
  
Hakkai sighed and felt himself ultimately begin to fall into actual, dreaming sleep, but not before hearing the steady grinding of gravel outside, somewhere supposedly right under where he was, one floor lower.   
  
"Wh...What? Who else could be up at this hour?" the brunette whispered to himself as he rubbed his eyes quickly before looking out the window once again. But the only sight that he saw when he lunged almost half-way out of the window was a gentle stay of long dark hair before the person outside entered the hotel; his hotel.   
  
"Who...?"  
  
*End Chapter #14*  
  
Author Notes:  
  
None... Geh. I can't believe how lazy I am. Well, here are the chapters I was hoping to put up earlier. Yeah, now it's New Year's Eve and on the brink of 2004. I'm stuck at home baby-sitting my brother while my parents go out to a party with their friends. *sniffle* Well, this is free time, isn't it? I just didn't feel very happy when writing this chapter, so it's... unhappy and short.   
  
Hopefully, I will be able to write more, and update more chapters, soon, along with editting the chapters, 'cause, jeezus, i need to. And if I don't put more chapters up when school starts back up (since I'm on winter break now), then I'll definetly have time to when I get out on summer break, seeing as that's the time when I really had time to get the first ten chapters up here.   
  
Happy Holidays, along with a Happy New Year!   
  
-Ja ne! 


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